where is the border of punishement and abuse
one, i dont believe i am being abused
i am asking this for personal reasons, just so i know(i dont want some person knocking on my door to come take my parents
i just want to know if most parents do this or not
i will make a list and i want a simple,its normal or its not normal.
also i get a's and b's in school, ive never cussed and im 14
5-15 spanking bare bttom and sometimes with guests at house
2weeks-2months of grunding for trivial things
timeout for 30mins to 4+hours (20-60 mins of lifting 1 lb cans ea hand, while squating)
email me or post if you wish to talk, lol no rom hd 2 del
The purpose of discipline and punishment is to educate and to promote development.
To injure, to demean, or to humiliate is to abuse. Violence has no place in child rearing.NEVER NEVER NEVER PUNISH OR DISCIPLINE A CHILD WHEN YOU ARE ANGRY or frustrated or impaired by fatigue, alcohol or drugs. You could too easily lose control, and when you do and direct naked aggression towards a child, you are abusing the child. This goes for both verbal and physical violence.
Punishment is never an occasion to vent meanness, aggression or frustration. "I am only doing this for your own good... One day you will thank me... You will know I did the right thing when you have children yourself..." are thinly veiled excuses that have no merit.
Attacks against children are profound betrayals of trust and love that wound deeply long after any physical injuries heal. Brothers and sisters watching such aggression can be similarly damaged.
The reason you use the physical punishment determines when it crosses over into abuse. A good rule of thumb is to ask yourself if you're punishing a child because they did something to warrant it or if you're abusing them because you're mad or frustrated.
No. What you've described is not "normal". Your parents may not intend to be abusive, and they may not otherwise be abusive "as people in general"; but a couple of the things you mentioned would be considered, "abusive". Definitely.
LisaHW answered your question very well. I completely agree.
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