My parents used to hit me as a child, but did that mean they were bad parents? I

1. 51

   jez259posted 16 years ago

   My parents used to hit me as a child, but did that mean they were bad parents? I got smacked across the face and all over my body.

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2. 76

   Shil1978posted 16 years ago

   My parents (especially my father) would sometimes hit me as a child. It is never a good feeling is it? I would feel awful and its not just the physical pain of it - emotionally too, you feel so down and depressed. My father would sometimes use his... read more

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3. 59

   Kebennett1posted 15 years ago

   I do not believe a child ever deserves to be hit across the face and all over the body as you say. Now I do not see anything wrong with a swat on the bottom with your hand. I do not believe in using a belt, shoe, paddle, flyswatter or any other weapon. It a child can be disciplined without physical punishment it is best. discipline comes from discipleship, which means to teach. What you teach a child when you hit when you are upset with them, is to hit when they are upset with someone. Saying your parents were bad, it is hard to say, I was not there? Are you mentally/emotionally scarred? Physically scarred? If you are I would say YES. If YES is the answer, get counseling and do not pass on the abuse.  If not, then I would say not really bad but not very, they were still technically abusive, you are fortunate they did not hit hard and they were misinformed about how to discipline a child in the correct way. I do pray you are ok now.

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4. 77

   Galadriel Arwenposted 15 years ago

   Terror used to control those who are weaker than you such as: hitting, threatening, whipping, burning, is a form of abuse. A rational person with a decent education and proper upbringing usually would know better than to abuse their child by using terror tactics as if they were prisoners of war.
   Children who experience this type of abuse need years of counseling because they grow up damaged. Everyone needs a safe place to grow. Look at the concentration camps and the children living in similar situations with daily terror. Children believe that there is something wrong with them.
   Yes you were abused. Your parents needed help to control their temper. Abuse to others weaker and smaller show brut ignorance [lack of education], lack of the capacity to love and no parenting skill understanding. Parenting skills education ought to be required!

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   viewposted 15 years ago

   I feel deeply for what has happened in your life and its impact, its just an outcome of lack of education, inability to control temper. A child must be protected against all these things by all of us as an individual or society.
   
   
   Looking at such parents as an individual, we find that they are not able to overcome some problem in there life, a problem which causes so much frustration. Otherwise, I don't think any individual will like to hit a child.
   
   Such instances are not good for any society and must be condemned.

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   Bikash jhaposted 15 years ago

   I do think they were bad parents as their are other variety of ways to discline childrens although they choose something that leave deep bad impression on you mentally and physically. you still love them as you are confused  about whether they were good or bad parents. this is case of child abusing and good people dont abuse children so i know its hard for you but you have to accept they were bad parents+bad persons but it aint your fault so you need to worry and forget what happened with you and try to be a good child and better person unlike your parents.

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   bridanpposted 15 years ago

   If you are asking this question, you probably already know the answer.  Bad parents probably....abusive parents, definitely.

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   Been There Tooposted 15 years ago

   My mom used belts, and lilac switches-and other methods.
   
   My dad? His fist.
   
   I disagree with such tactics, but it sure did teach you there were immediate negative consequences for your actions.

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9. 69

   MikeNVposted 15 years ago

   You already know the answer. What is the intention of this post?

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10. 61

    Domelaposted 15 years ago

    I spanked my kids when they were little and I regret doing so, although I have no reason to think they sustained any lasting damage. You're really giving yourself a certificate of incompetence if the only way you can assert your authority is by (ab)using your physical power. Which, btw, is far more finite than you may think. Try hitting a 13-year-old who's half a head taller than you...

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    sikarukuposted 15 years ago

    I think all parents should learn to communicate to their children by other means other than hitting them. They were not good as far as parenting is concerned. If you teach your child that the only way you stop htem from doing wrong is by hitting them, you are driving them towards fear. they will fear you rather than respect you. And which parent prefers fear to respect?

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    leapea3posted 14 years ago

    I don't believe that makes them bad parents, however they may have crossed the line a little when it comes to physical discipline. I was spanked as well as a child, and once slapped across the face...but did I deserve to be? Yes, absolutely. When a parent has hit their breaking point with a child, sometimes they need a serious wake up call. As an adult, I can look back on this now and see that I was blatantly refusing to follow the direction of my mother and proceed to do what I wanted to do, and so I suffered the consequence. I believe this is a case by case thing.....but I definitely don't think that spaking your kids is child abuse. Maybe if people would stop and think about how well behaved kids were back when spanking was an acceptable form of punshment, they would see the monster that has been created here with regards to no physical punishment.

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    LeeWallsposted 10 years ago

    They were abusive and you should've called 911. Parents need to quit in how they discipline a child. If they have a problem, don't take it out on someone that's vulnerable and defenseless. Shame on them and all those who do this! I hope you're better and don't you ever continue the cycle of abuse your parents gave you.

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