How to deal with a mother-in-law that is both disrespectful and presumably mentally ill? No matter
what me and my husband do she is plain crazy?
With compassion, she is probabily rude because of her illness. Please get her treated. Mental illnesses are curable and just need some timely attention from others as the person is unable to take care of herself.
She is an adult, you cannot get her treated if she is not willing. Tolerate as much as you are able with grace and dignity because she is your husbands mother and avoid situations you know will be disastrous. Godspeed.
Not to sound skeptical of jaded, but do you have a clear diagnosis from a qualified physician regarding her mental illness? Whether you do or not, it's a difficult situation that I've experienced myself, though my mother-in-law lived with us for about fifteen years!! She claimed all sorts of illnesses, even went so far as to call all the family together to announce that she only had six months left to live......and that was sixteen years ago. She's still alive today at age 73. She was very disrespectful of both me and my husband, she was rude and caused constant turmoil between the extended family members and she undermined us, me especially, with our children.
I tried to remain composed and secure for the sake of my husband and kids. My children absolutely loved her and, even though he saw her faults, she was my husband's mother and he did feel responsible for her. My husband finally made the decision to put her in an apartment complex for the elderly.
However, what I learned later was the extent that she had hurt my children and how she was the cause of the often rocky relationsip we had with our own children. I didn't see it then because she had convinced the children to lie to me about it or to keep certain things hidden from me. Now that my children are older, they have admitted to me the things she used to say or do to them. Had I known then, I would have put my foot down and she would not have had all those years to influence them.
So, my advice? First, be sure there is a real illness there. Don't just take her word for it....or your husband's. He may have believed it without question since he was a child and may not see the real truth.
If there is an actual illness you need to deal with, look for other options. There are people trained to deal with this sort of thing. Does she need to be placed somewhere other than your home?
I know it would be a really tough thing to do but in the end, you have to protect your children, your husband and the unity of your own family.
I wish you luck!
by Theresa Collins 17 months ago
Why do some families of the mentally ill turn their backs on them?I have seen many people who are truly, seriously, mentally ill with diagnosis such as Schizophrenia have no one, absolutely no one. Their families have disownded them. Although it is extremely difficult to deal with someone with that...
by dashingscorpio 3 years ago
Would it upset you if you learned your husband or wife gave their (ex) money to help them out?Assuming his or her ex came to them asking for money or simply told them they were having a hard time. Would it upset you to learn your spouse withdrew money from an account to give to their ex? Would it...
by dashingscorpio 2 years ago
Nigerian court grants man divorce over wife's 'late meals'. Is this a "deal breaker" for you?"She does not prepare my food on time and I have warned her several times, but she would not listen to me," He also said: "There is no point in harboring a wife that makes me...
by Lady MJ 6 years ago
Why do men look for porn or images of other women when they have a nice looking wife?
by Skarlet 5 years ago
How long does it take for hubs to "mature" and make money?New to hubpages, and I have heard that it takes months for hubs to mature
by The Power Glider 7 years ago
How do you deal with compliments?When others comment on how great of a job you've done, or how you've dealt with a difficult situation how do you respond? With genuine grattitude? Pleased but don't think it's worthy of the compliment? Perhaps even with the thought of, 'I'm glad they finally...
Copyright © 2018 HubPages Inc. and respective owners. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc. HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.
|HubPages Device ID||This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.|
|Login||This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.|
|HubPages Traffic Pixel||This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.|
|Remarketing Pixels||We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.|
|Conversion Tracking Pixels||We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.|