When do you think is an appropriate amount of time to meet someone's kids. My b

1. 52

   goodpeepposted 14 years ago

   When do you think is an appropriate amount of time to meet someone's kids.  My boyfriend of 4...
   
   months hasn't introduced me to his 14 and 16 year old.  However I have met his family.  Other than getting text messages while he is at work, I do not hear from him when he has his kids 4 days out of the week.

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2. 66

   Veronicaposted 14 years ago

   When do you think is an appropriate amount of time to meet someone's kids. My boyfriend of 4... months hasn't introduced me to his 14 and 16 year old. However I have met his family. Other than getting text messages while he is at work, I do not hear... read more

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3. 70

   MayGposted 14 years ago

   I think it depends on how long ago he separated from their mother - if it is recent, then they may still be trying to deal with that.  4 months is still early stages in a relationship. I wouldn't rush it - for their sakes and for the sake of your relationship.  Your partner needs to be sure of how he feels about you before he has input on the relationship from his kids, and teenagers can be delightfully brutal, especially if they feel threatened by someone new coming into their father's life.  It is interesting that you don't hear from him at all when he has his kids, but maybe he is just completely focussed on spending time with them.  Can you call him in the evenings, or has he asked you not to?

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4. 84

   wychicposted 14 years ago

   Obviously this depends on the individual, but I'd guess that he wants to make sure it's going to work out with you before introducing you to his kids...depending on how many relationships he's been in before, it could hurt the kids' ability to see the woman in his life as a family member if they're used to seeing it not work. My husband's kids (three grown, one age 14) didn't know anything about me until he was preparing to move thousands of miles to be with me, and I didn't meet his son (the youngest) until after he and I were married. This didn't feel like a slight to me, but rather his way of protecting his family and their future relationship with me. He has been burned in the past by introducing them to girlfriends too early who then ended up being very different than he expected, and he didn't want them to see the one he finally stayed with as "just another woman" in their father's life.

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