i Often feel being ignored by my wife after we became parents why do fell this way?
The time she actually used to give me is often lost these days. she wont even come to me while the baby is sleeping? i feel i am ignored and get angry
This is normal, her hormones are acting differently. Give her time, be patient, talk to her, she will understand. Most men feel this way, its good that you are trying to get help. Just woo her back.
I completely agree with sofs. Although I'm not a woman :-) I can understand it very well.
I encourage you to talk to your wife about how you're feeling. Make sure you are honest and don't accuse her of ignoring you or say that what she's doing is making you feel angry.
Stick to "I" statements. "I feel neglected. I'm not saying it's your fault but it's how I'm feeling." I'm sure your wife doesn't want you to feel ignored. I wish you best of luck in working out a win-win solution to this conflict.
I disagree about approaching her in a manner that is confrontational. Truth is that she is probably very tired. Being a mother is a new experience for her and it is very draining and taxing on your time and emotions.
Perhaps you could try to offer to take up some of her work load or even offer to care for the baby so that she might enjoy a relaxing bath or a nap or even a lunch date with a friend. After a couple of times like that with you doing it to be nice and not expecting something in return she will probably reward you.
The best advice I can give is to put yourself in her shoes. I know this is a bug adjustment for you and it is normal to feel a bit slighted by all of the attention that the baby is getting that used to be just for you. But the last thing that you want to do is add more stress to your wife and potentially make the situation worse. Be calm. Be patient. Be understanding. Be helpful. It will get better.
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