How can I get my daughter to form a bond with her grandma who is overseas?
My daughter is four years old and has only met her grandparents who live in England once. When we were over there last year she absolutely loved and clung to her the whole time. Now that we have been back home she won't participate in web cam sessions or talk to her on the phone. I can understand why her grandma gets upset but I really don't know what to do. She talks sometimes begrundgendly on threat of punisment but I really don't think that's good. Any tips would be much appreciated, thank you.
First grandma should not get mad she only 4yr old maybe grandma should find things that a four yr old like and try to make that work.I work with kids everyday from 1-5 yr of age and I found out that you have to work w/ children.
Whenever you speak to your mom again, tell her to be patient until you work on ways to get your daughter to respond. It will make the situation worse if your daughter is punished. When was the last time you and your daughter visited your parents? You may want to try letting your little girl know that your mother feels really hurt about this.
It's been a little over a year, and it's my mother-in-law actually. I kinda do feel like they ( my husband and his mom) expect alot from her sometimes- but I really do wish my girl would show more of an interest. I hate for anyone's feelings to be hurt.
Say "Let's talk to Grandma for just a moment and then we'll get ...... - pick a favorite treat of hers. Yes, that's bribery, but it will put her mind on what she wants and when she gets used to associating talking to grandma with her favorite things it will become something she looks forward to.
Maybe if your mother in law could start something that is just for her and your daughter,. that may attract her to stay for the webcam chat a bit more.
Something like: Grandma and *child*'s chat time. Where Grandma could have picked out a story book with *child*'s favourite characters (eg: Pooh/Tigger etc), and grandma could read that book with her. Or think about what they liked to do together when you were over there. If she loved watching grandma cook, maybe grandma could set up in the kitchen, and ask *child* to tell her how to put in the ingredients. Or if they liked gardening, you could grow some seedlings and show grandma over the webcam. Or have *child* draw pictures and show grandma on their next chat session. They could sing songs.
Hope a few of these help.
I think the onus is on grandma to make the webcams attractive to her granddaughter and to appreciate that at 4 it is not realistic to expect too much. Old fashioned letters and sending grandma photographic brag books and pictures her granddaughter has drawn would probably be a good idea to help grandma - because this is her issue.
My mum lives in England and my daughters talk to her once on the weekend but they are teens - reassure grandma it will come but if the little one is punished she will associate grandma with "bad" and not with "fun and good things".
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