what do you do when your foster child says they dont want to be here any more. just after you...
ground them that they want there mom who cant have them she is in care until she is 18 she is only 15 and doesn't like my punishments can someone give me some advice please.
Firstly, I would want to say well done in choosing to foster, and to care for a teenager. Many foster carers are nervous about caring for teens. I would suggest talking it over with your case worker, as their role is to support you and the child, and to help you work out strategies.
Teens need consequences and boundaries, but of course they do not like them especially. Children in foster care don't have a lot of say over their lives, where they live etc. They are quite disempowered, and I think this is especially the case for teens who are wrestling developmentally with issues that are additionally complex if they are in care. So it is unsurprising that they look to gain control wherever they can. So one strategy worth trying is to give options, room to negotiate. Don't choose to do this when they are upset though - emotional distress makes it much harder for them to hear you properly and to think clearly. You can do this without allowing the boundaries to be crossed without consequence. But it is worth remembering the point of boundaries - keeping them safe, teaching them appropriate behaviour etc. Sometimes it can be easy to slip into setting up battles that do not teach or help the young person, and become painful to enforce. If a natural consequence is not available, you could try giving a choice of appropriate consequences.
Another thing to consider is the capacity to regain lost privileges as a reward for appropriate behaviour. And try not to take away everything all at once. When teens in care feel that they have lost everything they can feel powerless, and be less motivated to try for change.
I hope these starting thoughts help. It is hard to be more specific without extra info. Definitely talk to your case worker about the difficulties, and perhaps consider family mediation too.
by igniter8503 12 months ago
Why don't people care for their kids anymore??In today's world we see more parents not taking care of their kids the right way either ditching them with other people to take care of or no caring for them in general why do you think this???Their is more kids growing up in foster care or with grand...
by Jluvies 8 years ago
My boyfriend wants me to conform to his rules and is trying to teach me structure and discipline. I don't agree with what it's doing to our relationship or how it is making me feel. It just so happens that I decided to write about it last night- < no self-promotional links> And...
by Grace Marguerite Williams 4 years ago
raising and instilling parameters in their children? Why? Why not?
by flacoinohio 6 years ago
Is it appropriate for a kindergartener to sign a suspension form with out a parent being present?My son made a foolish mistake and was suspended from school for half day for telling a girl that he was going to kill her. He did not explain his actions and his statement is part of the...
by Meredith Loughran 4 years ago
What are your thoughts on spanking a child?Is corporal punishment acceptable or do you consider it abuse? Is there an age limit to spanking? And were you spanked as a child? Does your past experience influence your answer?
by waterbottle 2 years ago
i feel as if they need another chance, because most of the time it is not their fault for the position that they are in. so tell me how you all think about this topic... and also would You ever become a foster parent?
Copyright © 2018 HubPages Inc. and respective owners. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc. HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.
|HubPages Device ID||This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.|
|Login||This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.|
|HubPages Traffic Pixel||This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.|
|Remarketing Pixels||We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.|
|Conversion Tracking Pixels||We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.|