Do you believe that strict parents are better parents in terms of

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   gmwilliamsposted 9 years ago

   
   raising and instilling parameters in their children? Why? Why not?

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      Credence2posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Children need discipline and set boundaries. It is a cruel world that you have to prepare them for, so the parent that does not apply appropriate discipline when needed does not really love their children.
      
      Does bring back some memories though. As kids, Dad always said that, " a hard head made for a soft behind"
      
      Mom said it was better for her to smack you now when you are out of line, than to have a police billy club do it later.

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         gmwilliamsposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         Ouch so on target.   Remember the saying what your parents do not teach you, SOCIETY will.   Yeesss and society is often a very unkind teacher.  Look at our prison system, many of those people were not taught by their parents and NOW they are "taught" by incarceration.  Not so pretty at all.  So many kids that DIDN'T have parental boundaries or who DIDN'T LISTEN now wish that they had. Prison is not pretty at all.  Some may have complained that their parents were strict, had rules which they disregarded.  Now, in prison, they have to abide by the rules, they have NO freedom and if they dare disobey, they will face STRICTER and HARSHER consequences. 
         

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         Paul Froehlichposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         There´s no question that children need guidance and discipline.  The issue is what style is best.  The more effective style, it seems to me, is the attentive parent who make small corrections as needed, as opposed to the distracted parent who occasionally comes down hard on the child he´s been ignoring.  A wise parent knows to gradually ease up on supervision as the child gradually matures.

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      Rad Manposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Define strict? For some, not being allowed to date until 20 and only after the parents have meet the person can seem strict and to others it may not, and for some it can be seen as to strict.

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   NornsMercyposted 9 years ago

   It's funny...my ma was the passive one. Never hit us, never yelled, etc. My father was the exact opposite. That guy could swing and yell and I wouldn't listen to a thing he said.
   
   A quiet sentence from her, "Don't go down dark paths." literally saved my life and put every jumbled thing in my (at that point) 18 years of life into perspective in an instant. My stricter "parent" made me suicidal.
   
   I think if you're assertive, you've gotta be a) mature, b) patient and c) kind, not an absolute monster. Balance is key, I guess.

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      gmwilliamsposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      When I say strict, I mean establishing reasonable parameters.  I mean being an authoritative parent.   Strict is not authoritarian.  Authoritarian parents who those who maintain that children have no rights and they must as the parents says and wants.  Authoritative parents establish reasonable parameters, explaining why such parameters are needed; however, they realize that children must have input.  They guide their children; authoritarian parents COMMAND, not guide.

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         MelissaBarrettposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         I am a strict parent in terms of "These are the rules, these are the consequences."
         
         No matter why my kids break the rules, the consequences still apply. I've agreed with the reasons they've broken the rules. I've commended them on their choices... and then grounded them.
         
         Rulez is rulez. If they feel it's worth the consequences to break the rules, then that is their choice...but the consequences are the same. Surprisingly, their reasons are generally very good and they face the consequences without complaining.

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   WiccanSageposted 9 years ago

   I believe in strict parenting-- because inconsistent boundaries and lack of consequences is the worst thing for a child. I've worked with children for a long time  in many different ways (babysitter, nanny, school photographer, day care worker, middle school teacher, Sunday school teacher in a multifaith church, parent), and in my experience strict parents are more effective.
   
   I think it's sad that people equate strict with unreasonable, violent, losing control, etc.; I feel because they or someone they know were probably scarred by authoritarian parents or erratic, narcissistic parents-- basically people who took strict to an extreme level at the expense of the children.
   
   But it certainly does not have the case that strict = oppressive. Setting rules and expecting children to adhere to them, and following up consistently with consequences when they don't, is what being strict is about.
   
   Strict doesn't have to mean unyeilding or unchanging, either; strict doesn't have to mean 'no exceptions'. It just means you don't change things and give slack haphazardly, without thought or reason behind it. Children do need boundaries and rules, as well as a responsible adult who can calmly and reasonably set and enforce them. You don't have to mistreat them to be strict.

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   VVanNessposted 9 years ago

   I'm going to say that there has to be a balance. Being strict but loving is a good thing. Your kids not only need to know where their boundaries are, but also need to be free to have fun, explore, and experience their worlds without parents breathing down their necks at times too.
   
   I'm sure this is common sense, but a healthy balance between rules and boundaries and fun and free times needs to be found to have healthy, well-balanced children.

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      gmwilliamsposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      That is what I mean strict but loving or in other words, an authoritative parents who sets boundaries but is aware of their children's needs and desires for independence and autonomy.

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   Sheila Wilsonposted 9 years ago

   By today's standards, I'm sure I would be considered a strict parent. When I set a boundary, I expected my children to respect it. I didn't reward or ignore bad behavior. I think that is the common problem today. I was with a man who would give his daughter anything she wished. If she asked for a certain brand of snack, for example, and he got the wrong one, she'd call him stupid and tell him to die. Instead of taking the snack away and refusing to buy her anything of her choice for a period of time as I would have done, he would go get her exactly what she wanted. I've seen other parents find humor and joke about a child's bad behavior which is another way of rewarding it. If you reward behavior, it will continue. It's basic behavioral psychology.

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      Kathryn L Hillposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Now that he has no sense of destination
      Now he's running for the love of speed
      When the child goes bad, it's no cause for celebration
      Like Jimmy Dean he don't talk back to me
      
      Failures as fathers, mothers to chaos
      No baby, no baby, no baby, no
      
      Hallo humans, can you feel me thinking?
      I assume you're seeing everything I'm thinking
      Hallo humans, nothing starts tomorrow
      I'm the baby now
      
      Baby Universe, Baby Universe, Baby Universal
      A speck of dust has settled in my eye
      It doesn't matter I've seen everything anyway
      
      Failures as fathers, mothers to chaos
      No baby, no baby, no baby, no
      
      Hallo humans, can you feel me thinking?
      I assume you're seeing everything I'm thinking
      Hallo humans, nothing starts tomorrow
      I'm the baby now
      
      Baby Universe, Baby Universe, Baby Universal
      A speck of dust has settled in my eye
      It doesn't matter I've seen everything anyway
      
      
      
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMdZ1r_YVpA

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