How to difuse a family feud?

  1. profile image45
    glassactlyposted 7 years ago

    How to difuse a family feud?

    My ex SIL refuses to allow my brother or his family to even speak to their children. She threatens to quit communicting with them if they try to talk to us.One is 19 and just joined the army the younger son is soon to be 18. They were both adopted by her husband when she divorced my brother. None of our family has been able to visit either of them since the oldest as about 4-5years old. What advice is there? We don't want to compound the problems for the kids but we do want to talk

  2. Sweetsusieg profile image85
    Sweetsusiegposted 7 years ago

    I would think that since they all are of age at this time, there isn't a whole lot the Mom can do.  If she quits communicating with her own children for talking to their extended family what kind of Mother does she claim to be?  Sorry that had to be said.

    Do the kids have facebook or myspace?  Maybe if you communicated quietly through private messages you could get to know one another.  Social sites such as those are not invasive, it keeps it at a distance so they can get comfortable with you.  I know this to be true because this is how I communicate with my step-son.  We have since met 1 time and it was a nice visit.  My 2 daughters, his sisters, came with me so he got to know them a little bit as well.  We are taking it slowly and as far as I know his Mom knows nothing of this.  If she does, she hasn't said anything.

    It would be a shame for them to go through their whole lives never meeting extended family who obviously cares for them.

    Hope this helps some!