Do kids at any age, lack socially if their family moves a lot. Will they be stable?
I think it can work both ways. Children who, by nature are not as sociable as others, would fare badly. Children who have a reasonable amount of social confidence would probably remain, on the whole unaffected.
My family moved a LOT when I was growing up, and I now have a regular job, degrees, and friends all over the world. I just wish I could move more with my kids-- I think it can be a great experience--Depending on the parents!
There are both pluses and minuses to moving around a lot as a kid. On the whole, I found it an enriching experience, but it does depend not only on the personality of the child, but also on the stability of the parents and also of the extended family. If kids don't have ties to a particular place, stable family ties become that more important. I would say a kid who moved around a lot who had loving, stable parents and a netwoirk of extended family to keep in touch with would be better off than an only child of divorced, alcoholic parents who grew up in one place. Moving around a lot is only one piece of the puzzle and not necessarily the one that determines positive or negative outcome.
We moved a lot with the military and it just brings your kids closer together. No one messed with them and the other kids on the base were in the same boat. They all just enjoyed themselves in any way allowed. They do love that they got to see so much.
I think that if the family home is (almost) always a happy home and the parental support is strong and extensive and there is more than one child (so they always have someone close to their ages) then it's less hard on the children.
But I moved around a lot! I hated it in the end! I was very sociable and loved being surrounded by friends, but it got to a point near the end of my childhood that I stopped making good friends because I was afraid I'd just have to leave them again. As soon as I found happiness I was uprooted again. It was not so hard when it was done all on the same continent, but adjusting to a whole new culture is definately tough.
Most of my family are now in the states and some are in the U.K.. I never feel that I can be 100% me, because half of my personality is understood by the Brits and half by the Americans... Wherever I am I get asked where I'm from because of my accent and I don't really have an answer for them. I have a child of my own now and I've promised myself that I will stay exactly where I am at least until she's finished school.
However, it does give them a bigger understanding of the world, makes them more open minded, more interesting, stronger and much more independent.
This is only my opinion though. As the saying goes; 'home is where the heart is'. As long as your heart and your children's hearts move with you, it shouldn't be too bad. It just takes a strong family with lots of love between them. If the parents' relationship falls apart or the family does for another reason, that's when it all goes horribly wrong.
I grew up all over different places and while growing up, it was painful changing schools, catching up , making new friends and adjusting to the whole move, BUT we got to learn, see, experience a lot and are today thankful for that. It has pros and cons, you don't develop roots and loyalty but overall kids will have a more open mind and a wider persepctive of life. Given a stable home environment, change of places is a fortunate experience I believe.
Oh, suebee, that question hits close to home for me! After my son was born, I divorced his dad-whom I married again and am still with-married another man, and we moved from Stockton, CA, to Tampa, FL. My son 'lacks socially' to a great extent these days, he longs to stay here where we live in Bishop, CA, but is unable to find a job in his field. He's also afraid to leave, I believe. He is not eager to cut ties with his parents, and this town.
I really don't believe he is a stable human being at the moment, he's full of anxiety and fear for the future. He does have a 2 year old son, Quinn, who is of course, my grandson. My only grandson.
My son's son is the light of my life!
Thanks for the wonderful question.
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