Is it ever ok for a father to not have access to his son?

1. 60

   MellyMooposted 14 years ago

   Is it ever ok for a father to not have access to his son?
   
   And what are the detrimental effects of this? (if any).  I would like to know what you think.

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2. 74

   CJ Andrewsposted 14 years ago

   Matters the situation.  If the father is abusive - he shouldn't have any access.  If the father is supportive and encouraging - he should be a part of said life.
   
   Effects - the kids won't understand what it is to have a father or to behave like a father.  Most likely he will have a fantasy of how it should be and real life may not fulfill that.  Place him in environments that he may see how fathers act around their kids though.  Make sure he has a close friend where the father is willing to be a role model etc.

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3. 70

   lburmasterposted 14 years ago

   Depends on the father son relationship. Honestly, I think it would have been better if my boyfriend's father had stayed away since the man was abusive and never said "I'm proud of you" or "I love you". Now my boyfriend has emotional issues with his father.
   For example, David won a martial arts competition and recieved a good sized trophy when he was 17. He won it for his father, however, his dad never said he was proud of him. So after two weeks he smashed the trophy in his backyard and tossed the remains in the trash. It didn't matter if his mother said she loved him or how proud she was that he won.
   Every boy needs a fatherly figure. If you choose to deny the father visitation rights, then he needs someone else to take the place of his father.

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4. 61

   duffsmomposted 14 years ago

   If the father is mentally unstable and capable of hurting the child, he should not be allowed access to the child.
   
   It would depend on the age of the child, the mental health of the father, past abuse or neglect. 
   
   Children tend to take blame on themselves for parental problems, so if the father is troubled, the child may well blame themselves and the contact could be detrimental.
   
   An expert would have to make this decision.

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5. 60

   MellyMooposted 14 years ago

   Duffsmom, I agree with you that if the father is mentally unstable and capable of hurting the child, he should not be allowed access, for sure. 
   
   I think that abuse of the mother should come into this aswell.  I do not think that any child should be subjected to watching his/her father abusing his/her mother, whether it be physical or emotional.
   
   CJ Andrews, you are so right in saying that if the father is supportive and encouraging of course he should have access.
   
   I definitely agree that the key is for him to have a close friend or relative as a role model, and for him to have regular contact with that person.
   
   Yes, Iburmaster, the effects of emotional abuse are devastating.  They also teach us how not to behave,and make us aware of our own thoughts and look at ways of changing them so that we may become strong, positive people.

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6. 65

   CARIBQUEENposted 14 years ago

   The only time a father should not have access to his son is if he is abusive towards the child.

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