How do you feel if you see a parent chastise a naughty child in public.
Do you think well done serves the little blighter right. Or are you horrified.
I sympathize with the parent but also wince if it is clear that the child is not paying any attention and that this sort of punishment/yelling/nagging is going on all the time. If I can and it seems appropriate, I try to say an encouraging word to the parent or child. A lot of times parents punish more severely in public because they are worried what people are thinking. I try to let parents know that all kids misbehave sometimes, or are tired/hungry etc. I want them to feel reassured that they are not being judged as bad parents.
I definitely think that we need to give credit and space to parents who try to discipline their children. I am a mother of three and get tired of people getting horrified every time a parent is not the perfect ideal image of calm, collection and smiles... sometimes children act up and they need to be discipline on the spot, not later. Letting children know that because of public eye they can get away with everything is the worst we can do.
So, no abuse but not interfering, meddling in other people's children education!
I was chastised one time by a big man who attacked me because I scolded my 3 year old son who tried to cross the street by himself!
Or one time, worst, a lady and her daughter made their point that Black men are so bad because mothers like me destroy their spirit when son almost jumped of a ferry close to the statue of liberty... I almost got back at them but let it go because frankly I was about to make them jump of the boat, nothing less!!!LOL
I respect them as a parent. It shows they care more about that child than appearences. I do not believe in making a scene, like screaming at them but all I had to do was take their little hand and head to the nearest bathroom or corner for a talk., and they knew I meant it.
It depends how the child is being chastised, the trouble is you can't even slap their legs now. I do feel for the parent because they are trying their best not to cause too much of a scene, and the little blighter knows that.
I think society is becoming too politically correct, me and my brother often went to bed with a sting in our tale and it didn't do us any harm.
I support the parent wholeheartedly. A lot of parents are afraid to discipline their own kids. This applies double when in public. Kids are smart and pickup on this inconsistency. They'll quickly learn that if you address behavior issues promptly at home but don't do it when outside of the home, they have a free pass to raise hell whenever out and about. Gotta nip that stuff in the bud.
It all depends on how it is done. If it is done with respect and love then okay I agree. It is only if I witnessed a parent going overboard with the discipline that I would not agree.
There has been so much against disciplining our children over the past few decades or so and,as a result, we have some very unruly kids and adults who have grown up without proper discipline.
So we reap what we sow. Discipline is needed to teach us right from wrong. Once it doesn't become abuse then I'm ok with it.
I once wrote an article about this for a parenting magazine. As the mother of 3 myself, I speak from personal experience. I was always very picky about good manners and public behavior - and I knew it started with me.
When my children were young, at the first sign of trouble, I would take my kids into the ladies room, get face to face with them and speak in a low stern voice. All of a sudden, their happy sweet Mom was replaced with a "you don't want to go there" Mom. And they didn't. After that, all I ever had to do was, stop and ask them, "Do we need to go have a private discussion?"
I don't know what they thought could happen. I just know that they really preferred that happy and sweet Mom.
I give the parent disciplining the child kudos. Need more of it! Too many people today just let their children run wild in stores and restaurants.
This is a tricky question to answer. I have two answers.
The first answer is this: If the child was really doing something bad in public and really deserved the punishment/chastising, then yes, I agree.
The second answer is this: If the child was just wandering away or not doing something too horribly bad, then I would not be happy to see the parent chastising their child.
I guess it just depends upon the situation.
I feel much more when I see a parent NOT disciplining a misbehaving child in public.
As long as the parent doesn't get dragged down to the kid's level and start screaming at their son or daughter, I have no problem with it. I admire parents who just drop what they're doing, take the kid by the hand, and march them off into the nearest corner, out of the way of everyone else, to have a stern talk with him or her.
Parent's really shouldn't worry about what other people think of them in that respect - as long as they're not hurting their child in any way, there's no problem.
I'm actually more disgusted at the parents who just sit chatting with their other mom or dad friends while their little brats run riot around the store, making no effort to stop the kid knocking everything (and everyone) over. This one of my favourite things to rant about, so I'm going to stop right there, before I get going.
This has happened many times. Sometimes in my own house. This one mother comments negatively about her child's work in front of the entire family, both hers and ours, about one grade in school. The grade wasn't even an F, just a D. The little 7 year old girl just rolled her eyes and continued what she was doing.
Children just get used to it. After a while it shouldn't matter. I pity the mother because she believes she is doing a good job. Instead she is making it so her child will simply ignore her comments. If her mother doesn't like her friends, then she won't care. If the mother doesn't approve of something, the daughter will not care. She will believe they can get along without being on the same page. Which can occur but cause problems.
Though other children react differently. There is another mother I know who controls everything about her daughter. The girl didn't pick something up so the mom took her into the next room and started hitting her with a belt. So I was stuck in a house with a maniac of a mom listening to her daughters cries.
Her daughter has turned into her mom. Control freak, afraid of germs, bulky, allergic to the same things, stuck up, irritating to be around, etc. They morph into the very thing they dislike. Others learn from what their parents did but when against it.
I hate the parents and have to wonder, WHY CAN'T THEY LEAVE ME OUT OF IT AND GET CAUGHT BY THE SOCIAL CARE WORKERS OR THEIR NEIGHBORS? The parents don't learn, the kids don't learn. They are both idiots.
I feel like it's better to take the child in the restroom or somewhere away from other people... only because I don't want to shame my child. I remember being in trouble in front of others when I was little and I still remember how it made me feel. It's like that saying, you may not remember what they said but you remember how it made you feel (or something like that) Anyway, shame isn't a good feeling... and I remember it. Now, maybe I'm just oversensitive too but I can't help but feel that way. On the other hand, I sympathize with the parent because I don't think they mean to "shame" the child. I'm a mom now so I do understand the frustration when a kid acts up. I just think it's better to be done away from other people.
It usually makes me happy given the way children act these days.
If it is a scolding or even a spanking I'm with the parents.
But, of course, it can go too far.
One day I caught a little boy of about 7 in one of our strawberry fields.
I took him home so that I could explain to the parents that it is dangerous for him to be eating berries from fields that had been sprayed with insecticide only 2 days earlier.
The mother answered the door and I introduced myself. She already knew who I was when she heard my last name, because it is advertised.
Before I could say a thing she seized the boy up by the arm and yelled at him as loud as she could "You were stealing berries weren't you?".
He sheepishly nodded the affirmative. She backhanded him so hard he almost fell down, he would have if she hadn't been gripping his arm.
I said "Man please it is just a berry there is no reason to get so upset!"
She shoved the boy into the house yelling "I'll deal with you later you little thief!"
She asked how much damage he had done opening her purse.
I explained that there wasn't any monetary damage and that my only concern was for his health.
She told me that her son would soon learn his lesson and wouldn't be in our fields again.
I again told her that he hadn't done any damage and that we understand how tempting all those big red berries are.
She didn't seem to be loosing any steam and all I could do was bid her good day and say not to go to hard on him.
We have all seen parents over react to small things but far more often they under react or do nothing at all.
I am probably in the minority believing that corporal punishment should have been left in schools. But I saw it do far more good than harm.
I think it depends on how the child is chastised. If it's done in a respectful way, but has a "that's enough" tone I think it's great. If the parent becomes rude, disrespectful or demeaning I'm usually ready to make some kind of comment to the parent. If they become physical with the child I'm ready to make a phone call.
It depends on what, if anything, the child is doing and the manner in which the parent is providing the discipline. I have seen parents who are just at their wits end trying desperately to not loose control when a child is completely out of control, and I have seen parents who really need someone to pull them aside and discipline them.
In general most parents who discipline in public are doing so for the protection of the child.
This one depends on the situation. If the child is in danger then a public reaction is necessary but if the child is playing up, throwing a tantrum etc then disciplining the child publicly is (in my opionion) humiliating to the child. He won't remember the lesson, only the humiliation. Taking the child out of the immediate area to a more private setting is way better. A calm conversation will get your point across more effectively than a public display of emotion. If this fails, then we should take responsibility as a parent and leave, with child in tow.
by crystaleyes 6 years ago
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