Should you force your child to dress a certain way?
I have a teenage daughter that dresses in almost all black and wears black eye liner. She is a normal, happy teen, she just likes the way she looks like this. She is a straight A student in an advanced education curriculum, so her grades are not suffering. She does get bullied at school because of how she looks though, which is why I am concerned. However, on occasion when she wears a skirt or other colors, she gets picked on even more for changing her appearance. Should I just let her continue to express herself through dress or put my foot down?
That's a tough one, but I think it's probably best to let your daughter make the decisions on the colors she wears while encouraging her to diversify a bit. One of my granddaughters wore black and Goth looking clothes throughout her high school years. I hated it! But her parents let her go through the stage, and when she got to college, she gave up the look for brighter colors and more flattering styles.
Perhaps you could encourage her to wear a bit of brighter color with her black...a light colored blouse with black sweater or a pretty scarf? It probably feels weird to her to wear bright colors if she always wears black.
I would be a little concerned about the other kids picking on her, though, and wonder if it's serious enough to look in to farther. Good luck! Bringing up teens is a challenge, isn't it?
It sounds to me as if your daughter will get picked on no matter what she wears, so I'd let her wear whatever she wants. My daughter gets picked on, too, and she's come to terms with the fact that some people just need to diminish others in order to feel better about themselves--maybe your child has, too.
If your daughter is having problems with her peers that are causing changes in her grades, her attitude, or her general demeanor, then I'd sit down with the counselors at her school and determine whether the school needs to take action.
I went through a lot of strange clothing phases and my parents rarely commented. Thanks mom and dad!
I have an almost teen son and I let him choose his clothes and how he does his hair as long as he is clean. (He resists the clean part sometimes). The bullying thing is different though and I would keep an eye on this.
I think you should let her dress whatever she wants, she is going through that difficult age and probably that is one way to express herself, dressing in a different way can be a shield, but it is one that probably she thinks she needs, it can also be that she feels safer and stronger dressed in black. I know I did for many, many years. Anyway, black is a wonderful colour. Just stay alert because of the bullying bit, but probably that's not related to the black clothes.
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