Does having moments where you want to strangle your children make you a bad parent?
Never acting on it of course.
Well Peeples I don't think so. Because at times I have to threaten mine harshly, but that's when I get angry. But I can say though, never act when you are angry because you are not thinking clearly and might do things that you might regret. Becoming a parent I now see all that my parents went through, we were kids once so we should be able to identify with them. Only parents with kids that are always good will never think like that. So don't think you are a bad parent.
Being a parent can be stressful. I have been frustrated with my children more times than I can count. I think admitting the frustration and talking about it is the healthy way to deal with it. Anger and frustration are emotions which stem from... read more
I don't think it makes you a bad parent, it makes you a parent on the edge. Step back . Don't touch or speak when you are in this state of mind!
Any parent, including the very best, have moments of utter exasperation. Combinations of events, stresses, in addition to or brought on by a child, and the exigencies of time or money (or otherwise) can push even the most understanding parent to the brink.
It's how you handle it that is the key. Putting a child (or even baby) in a safe place and walking away is perfectly reasonable. Any form of violence is not.
Moments where you want to strangle your child doesn't make you a bad parent it makes you human. We all get frustrated with our children, I remember my father putting his hands around my neck once. He never squeezed, but he was that frustrated.
No, it makes you HUMAN. It does not mean you do not love them or care about them it just means at that moment you have had E N O U G H !!!! Something you may have said to them five thousand times and cautioned them about but they still went ahead and did it!!! That is a time when the urge to strangle may emerge...I have felt it at least once...the good news for me was it passed almost as quickly as it came.
No I don't think so. I have had to deal with peoples kids, around 10, who act 3, and I wanted to strangle her every day. She acted that way on purpose and got no discipline. I think a child can be disciplined but not beaten. There is a difference. I got a whipping and I am a lot better of a person because of it. I see studies where it harms them mentally, but I don't think it is true. Kids need to be kids and kids need to make mistakes and learn and have a way to learn, a boot in the butt, or a belt, will help.
I don't see it turning us into a bad parent. And I definitely agree that there should be no physical act involved in it or that could be easily deemed as abuse or violence. With anger, stupid expressions could come out from our mouths candidly; and if you add humour to your angry words, then the kids will not feel too hurt. Example: "I'll throw you out of the window." They know that this is IMPOSSIBLE to happen to them. Here's my advice.
I had many times expressed this kind of anger moments to my girls when they were 12 and 15 respectively; the tough ages to deal with of growing up. This age bracket is the period when they demonstrate to become really stubborn, air-headed, make up lies, slamming of bedroom doors, turning off their cellphones when mom or dad is calling, become lazy with chores, being pushy and demanding, breaking curfew hours, and would almost hit you back if you threaten to hurt them. I can totally see myself the way I had acted during my teens.
But never, never put a hand on them. Talk to your children one-on-one, heart-to-heart behind closed doors. Be a good listener and politely persist to let them listen to you as well. Throw in a short story of your childhood as an example, so they can see themselves in that pattern (this usually worked between me and pa during my time). If you get them to pour out and/or find both of you in tears, then you will know that you have successfully touched your kid's heart and mind.
Explain your ways of discipline that it is only out of LOVE and ask your kid if he/she can agree to that. Refrain from leaving the room unless the situation has been settled. End your private conversation with each other's exchange of acceptance and apologies; tight hugs and kisses. Be fair. Close the deal with the big words: "I LOVE YOU."
P.S. I received all the types of discipline when I was a kid, and had molded me to become a better person and mother to my kids. Sorry. It's a long reply. Hope it has given some sense to your question. Cheers!
Of course not. All parents get frustrated.
Children are extremely demanding from the time they are born all the way up until they are old enough to understand that you can't see to their every single need right when they need them.
Babies, toddlers, little kids...they'll throw fits, and you will reach the end of your rope...several times. It is perfectly okay to get frustrated with them. It does not mean at all that you love them any less.
No. Strangling them does. I believe that all parents, if they are honest, have these frustrations. During these times try to focus on the reasons you love them. That's what I do, immediately after I yell. I'm not sure which helps the situation most.
does wanting to make your father trip on a banana on the stairs make you a murderer, when you finally decide not to do it? I don't think so. Your child and my father are affected by our actions. Not our thoughts. Heck, if thoughts were dangerous. I would have killed all humanity and I would be the only one on earth. What a hell.
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