Have you ever felt deprived of parental love?
In such a situation, you would have felt miserable. How did you adapt to the situation? An answer to this question might be helpful to youngsters who are presently experiencing it.
There was time down the road for me when I felt that way. This was due to the unending wars my parents fought. When I grew 15 to 16 years old I realized this was due to the age gap between my mum and dad (12 years). I explained these things to them!
Soon they too began to understand and cope up with it! It was not that I didn't receive any love at all, they loved and cared for me but individually... what I felt for was to loved by both as one!
Now the tides have turned and my sister who is ten years younger to me does not have to face the problem.
Yes, I am the daughter of alcoholics, and the "not favorite" for the side of the family that seems to think a favorite must be chosen. I have to admit that it took me many, many years to resolve the major issues around parents and learn to do without signs of their love. Initially it was just a matter of acting out until I reached 15, when I found places to stay away from home. A quick perusal through my hubs will show a small sampling of some of the other struggles I went through emotionally and mentally at a time when I did not have the tools to deal with them.
Tomorrow I will be 26, and as of today my mother has been sober for nearly 9 years. Around year three of her sobriety we were able to start re-connecting, and today we have a good friendship -- not a traditional mother/daughter relationship, but we can now enjoy time together and I trust her with my kids.
There are some issues that I'm not sure I'll ever completely resolve for myself, but I have been able to find a fulfilling life that I love and have been able to put most of those unresolved issues behind me. One of the most damaging beliefs I held for most of my childhood and young adult life was that a parent always loves their child, and always puts him/her first....which made me wonder what was so wrong with me that I couldn't be loved like that. If I had been able to understand that I wasn't at fault, that the issues weren't mine and there was nothing I needed to fix, I think there are many things in my life that would have turned out very differently.
My whole life... check out my hubs and you'll understand. You never really 'adapt' to it, you just get through each day by holding on to the hope that tomorrow will be better.
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