Should you charge your children rent if they move back in after college?

1. 72

   buckleupdorothyposted 12 years ago

   Should you charge your children rent if they move back in after college?

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2. 61

   stockpicksposted 12 years ago

   It depends if they have a job and how much they are making. If they are making decent money, it would be good to negotiate certain bills or a percentage of the rent. The rent should be low or symbolic unless you really need the money to pay the mortgage or rent. You never know if you have to move in with them when you get older or if a situation arises. Let them speak first and see how they react by asking, "What do you think about helping with the bills? How comfortable are you about paying a little rent?" You may be surprised. If they are not making anything, then I would still have a discussion, but not charge anything.

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3. 60

   ElleBeeposted 12 years ago

   I am a recent(ish) college grad living with my parents and paying rent.  It was always understood that if I chose to live home past college, I would be expected to contribute to the household, and honestly, I think it is a perfectly fair/reasonable expectation.  I agree with stockpicks below that there shoyuld be a discussion about it, and their working should tie into if/what you charge them.   
   
   In my opinion, it is best to have this conversation before they move back in, and instead of simply tying it to their job when they get it, discuss some type of post-graduation grace period (similar to student loans) after which point they'll be expected to start paying rent. It is easier to set up the expectation up front, and this will make sure you aren't enabling them not to get a job, or not to look for a better job.  I think that as long as you're reasonable in how much you charge and recognize that they're renting their old childhood bedroom and not a full apartment/house most young adult chidlren would have little problem with this.

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   1. 72

      buckleupdorothyposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      That all sounds reasonable. Do you think that contributing to the family in some way (groceries, bills etc) helps you feel more independent and less like the highschool kid you presumably were the last time you were living with your parents full time

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   2. 60

      ElleBeeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I think it does make me feel more adult/independent. At this point there are very few things which are "mine" so paying rent makes me feel like I'm living in a place I am contributing to and have some control over, instead of just being a kid again.

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4. 60

   Lyriczposted 12 years ago

   Well speaking as a person that recently lived at home with my parents, I wasn't charged rent even though I was working. I did however contribute to the household in other ways, i.e cable bill and  groceries. So I think if a child is going to move back home after school, number one there has to be a plan. Are they just going to be home like they were when they were in high school? Or are they going to be looking to put their newly acquired degree to use? If it's the first one then , they I think that the parents cannot or should not expect their child to do anything unless they make it clear that they are now an adult and have to fend for themselves. In other words, GET A JOB. If they have plans on getting a job, then I think there can be an agreement in the form of they have to do something in the household to contribute so that when they finally do decide to be on their own, they'll know what responsibilities lie ahead, and they'll have some experience in taking care of that.

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5. 60

   MickSposted 12 years ago

   Yes.              ---                --                         .

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6. 0

   Starmom41posted 12 years ago

   my POV:  no. 
   reason:  because I'd always consider it to be "family" home, not "MY" home--  and to charge rent would reduce a family member to the level of a boarder or a tenant. 
   I just believe adult-aged kids should do their part to keep the bills down, & it wouldn't hurt to volunteer a few $s occasionally.

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   1. 60

      ElleBeeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Definitely a good perspective.  I think this is a very valid argument as well.

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   2. 72

      buckleupdorothyposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I think that's a very valid point. How much would you expect your adult child to contribute? Would they have chores or curfew or anything like that?

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7. 68

   teyeger82posted 12 years ago

   I think if you have graduated from college and have been able to find a job but need to live at home, you should contribute at some level. That level should be agreed upon by the ones who own the home and the new grad.

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8. 0

   Debbie Dallasposted 12 years ago

   No way!!!!! Enjoy their company-- hoPefully they are stable and you get along!  The more the merrier!! Make ur kids b ur best friend!  Then u buddy is so close-- enjoy life with them!  HEY!! They r half you!! There are no RULES IN LIFE... Do as u wish...

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9. 60

   anancelesteposted 12 years ago

   I never thought about it. I have two college bound kids next fall. They are getting ready to leave, I have no idea what would be the arrangements.

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      RavenBikerposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Decide before it gets out of hand!  :-)

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10. 60

    KellyRiversposted 12 years ago

    I think there are a lot of factors to take into consideration.  Are you enabling your child to take your help for granted, or are you actually helping them get on their feet?  I am the mother of 4 children.  I have had two of the four move back in.  One was going to college and had a part time job while the other was not in school but working a full time job.  The second one needed some more time to get his priorities in order and learn how to succeed in life. 
    The first one we didn't charge.  He was a full time student with a part time job.  He was frugal with his money and didn't do a lot of unnecessary going and buying.  He spent a lot of time on college.  We felt that as long as we could see the effort he was making for a better life by doing his best in college, we felt we were helping to make his future successful.  As a parent, that's what I do.
    The second son had a rocky start.  He liked spending and couldn't quite get the grasp of not spending all of his paycheck before he got paid again.  So, we allowed him to come home, pay rent (minimal), help buy groceries and some utilities just like if he were on his own.  We helped set up a budget and also helped him start a savings.  By not charging a large amount, he had enough to save so that when he got back out, he had enough for a deposit and first month's rent and utility deposits.  He was able to move back out and had a much better understanding of money and how to pace his spending.  If he had any more problems, we haven't heard!
    Not all children are the same and I believe it has to be decided on an indiviual basis.  I am thankful that my parents were able to be there for me.   Not all parents can afford to help out and I think there are children that have to manage, and do manage without any help.  Perhaps knowing that their parents can't afford to help helps them make better choices.

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11. 81

    josh3418posted 12 years ago

    I am probably biased since i did move back in for half a year after college, and did not par rent.  However, I was working full time and helping around the house.  I think it depends on how mature the children are.  Are they helping out; do they have a good work ethic?  Or, rather, are they just being lazy and using home as an excuse to sit around and play video games all day?

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12. 0

    Jade0215posted 12 years ago

    If they're having a tough time getting a job after they spent all that time in school then of course I'd let them live with me without charging rent. But if they got a job after they've graduated then yes I would because there would be no need for them to be there if they're making enough money for their own place. That's only showing that they aren't ready to grow up if they're moving back home just for the fun of it.

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    RavenBikerposted 12 years ago

    I was charged "rent" when I got my first job out of high school albeit it was only $30 a month.  I took home about $180 a week back then (circa 1981).  My auto loan was about $167 a month when gasoline was about $1.10 a gallon.  Committed to $30 a month was more than fair for a warm bed, cooked food and clean clothes. Fact is, I wish I had that today!!
    
    Yeah, if your children have jobs in high school, in college or after graduation and they have jobs, I think an appropriate for them to pay an amount, a fair one or course, even if they "help around the house."  Helping around that house, after all, is a part of paying real rent.

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