Should a soon to be fifteen year old be on facebook?
I previously thought the answer was no, but my Mom recently passed and now I am Mom to my fourteen year old sister. Mom allowed her to be on facebook under some supervison. I feel that now I am in between a rock and a hard place. She is using it to stay connected to friends, family, etc. She needs encouragement from a community, what should I do?
When my daughter first got on Facebook, the agreement was that both her dad and me be friended - and that we have her password. Those were our conditions and she was fine with it. There were comments here and there from "friends" that were maybe not what I would like to see, but I held back on the criticism. Only issues of someone using foul language or saying something that my radar thought needed attention (there was a friend who was having personal difficulties). That's the long way of saying that you really need to realize that Facebook is their social "hangout" and that sometimes they will complain about you or say "my life sucks" and you just keep watch and maybe mention it in passing, but mostly realise it's how they blow off steam. I listened ALL THE TIME when my daughter told me about computer games and Facebook games - and I visited every one and checked them out. Today, she's almost 19, and I trust her implicitly to make good decisions online. I guess the way to prove it is that she still lets us know her password from time to time when we need to check something and she is not near a computer. You also have the computer as a discipline tool once she is online. Most importantly, don't just say "no computer tonight." Literally, unhook the keyboard and keep it elsewhere (if it is a laptop, password protect it and exert your power). Facebook (or something like it) is here to stay, and as long as you monitor without being a helicopter, and limit use (not on school nights, for example), you'll be okay.
Thanks, I'm new to being a big sister/mother of a teenager, my daughter is four. I feel a little like I have been taught to swim and tossed into the deep end, before I thought I was ready. Thanks your input is invaluable!
I dont really think a young girl of that age should be on facebook. I would say not until she is at least 18. I know that sounds harsh but if some guy hits on her, and she's 14 and he's 27 that disgusting AND illegal. If she grows to be so infatuated with this stranger, she might do things that are far more worse at her age (nude pictures) sent to this guy, he supposed "boyfriend". It's a dangerous world out there and she needs to be protected. Either make her delete her facebook or monitor every conversation and exchange she has with a person. SAFETY first!
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