children who are taken away for no reason at all by the state

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  1. profile image51
    gteriposted 16 years ago

    i am a mother who had her son taken away and the controlling father got custody. where's this world coming too? mothers don't get chances anymore?

  2. Betty Jo Petty profile image61
    Betty Jo Pettyposted 16 years ago

    I hope you have help with this.  Relatives that could be on your side can sometimes help.  Church pastors or others, teachers.

    Good luck.  I can pray for you.  Please, try to get help.


  3. profile image52
    van_jaymeeposted 16 years ago

    Sorry to hear that.
    Would like to know if you had made a police report,
    and please seek help from other people.
    Try and find a Women community center for more infomation on how to protect your rights and get to know more ways of getting your children back, by checking similiar cases with a profesional support group. i am sure someone can help you by you leading to the right people. 

    Meanwhile take good care of yourself,get support from family and friends, and be prepared to fight for your children and rights. All the best to you.

  4. jaymz profile image78
    jaymzposted 16 years ago

    I think mothers do get a chance, but if the father could bet provide for the child, why not let the child live with the father?


    I had this long story about my mother, but I decided it was unnecessary. Basically the point was that if you give every mother a chance, you would leave children in bad situations. Sometimes there's a better place for the child to live and grow up in...

    No offense, but there must have been some reason or means behind this.


    Either way, hopefully you get to see your son.

    1. vietnamese profile image67
      vietnameseposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      I totally agree with this! While it maybe is painful, it is for the sake of the children. I've seen cases of custody battle (yes, I've seen it with my naked eyes because I have been working as a Vietnamese court interpreter for many years) where the father/mother trying to get custody of their children althought their situations (financially speaking also) do not allow that to happen. I hope this is not your case!

  5. Enzama profile image61
    Enzamaposted 16 years ago

    imust say am sorry about the fact that you had to go through that pain of having your child taken away by the father iknow the attachment a mother has to her child.iwould like to know was it legal or illegal? if it was legal, then imust say there should have been a good reason the authorities that made it legal put into consideration before doing so.think about his reasons of taking the child away if they a not legal or dont really make alot of sense then you must consult the authorities for further help. but if they are legal reasons then you should let the child stay with his father besides children these days can grow up with there fathers too with out there biological mothers provided there mothers participate in there up bringing through having visitation rights with there children.

  6. Child Custody profile image61
    Child Custodyposted 15 years ago

    In California, it is very difficult to separate any parent from their child unless Domestic Violence or Child Abuse is documented.  Judges can't go on just what you tell them.  There is a standard of evidence that must be used in presenting the Judge with FACTS.

    Third party documentation, a paper trail, police reports, child protectiive reports, and declarations by people who have seen the quality of parenting and are willing to swear under oath (declaration) or testify are the best ways of getting the court the type of evidence that can be used in making or changing child custody orders.

    In high conflict divorces, a child custody evaluator acts as the eyes and ears of the court.  However, even a court appointed child custody evaluator must rely on evidence.

    Dr. James E. de Jarnette

    1. profile image51
      DonnaHolmerposted 15 years agoin reply to this
  7. fifelady profile image61
    fifeladyposted 15 years ago

    Hello, sorry to hear that, it must be really hard for you. I happen to work for CPS, but I am not a social worker, and I do not take children away. I do know that you have a right to keep fighting. Your best chance is to do whatever the state asks you to do. If you comply with their rules, the will see you are trying and want your child back.

    It sounds like your husband set something up in order to get the child. I deal with a lot of parents that will make up lies about other parents so they can get custody. Fight, fight, fight. The harder you fight and follow the rules provided, the more the court will favor you as a fit parent.

    1. SweetiePie profile image83
      SweetiePieposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      This is the best advice here.  I agree, do whatever the state asks to show you are trying your best to be a reliable and stable parent.

    2. AEvans profile image72
      AEvansposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      There is always two side to a story and she took one and left one behind for 6 months therefore as a parent myself, I believe she was wrong. smile

      1. Stacie L profile image87
        Stacie Lposted 15 years agoin reply to this

        Oh, this brings back many unpleasant memories for me. As a teacher ,I had to be and CSE member I had to be involved in many CPS cases.The poor kids are pawns in the tug of war between the parents.
        We (school staff) had to be very careful who picked the kids up and when ,  write reports for the judge,and some colleagues had to testify in court.Not a good situation.sad

        1. AEvans profile image72
          AEvansposted 15 years agoin reply to this

          Stacie. That would be an awful position to be placed in and I would not wish that upon anyone. I believe fighting over children is horrible and it only hurts the child and creates dysfunction.sad I thought about being a teacher at one time and I commend all of you for what you do, I just believe you should get paid more. smile

          1. Stacie L profile image87
            Stacie Lposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            Yep,not paid nearly enough for all the stress and aggravation....I left.big_smile

  8. Jessicahesson1982 profile image58
    Jessicahesson1982posted 15 years ago

    I think they should have a good reason for takeing them.

  9. profile image50
    nwrevsposted 15 years ago

    Hey everyone names nick well recently the mother of my babies walked away with the babies saying she was calling CPS and she cant drive but her mother is the one that drives the kids to see me because her mother has an order of protection against for everything i cudnt even message or anything and now her mom wont bring them here but nothing says my father cant go get them but she said she wouldnt give him to my father but i can give him permission to get them and theres no way they can be taken from me in anyway or her refuse to show them to to me now if i didnt do anything and we both still have custody right?

  10. profile image51
    ctraverseposted 15 years ago

    Okay, so here is my dilema.  I need someone's advise.  I'm searching for information on, 'how children are effected when taken away from biological mother.'  No luck so far, that is how I ended up on this web site.  Quick summary of what I'm going through. 
    I was married to a controlling man and we had alittle girl together.  I left him a couple of years ago and took my kids, the little one which is his.  Anyways, I moved to Austin a little over a year ago and left my daughter in the care of my ex's aunt.  I had no idea what I was going to do when I got to Austin, I just knew I wanted to do something better with my life, start over.  The aunt and I agreed that I would come back for my daughter as soon as I got on my feet.  Unfortunately, that took a bit longer then I expected.  Long story short, the aunt had my daughter for six consecutive months and filed suite to keep my daughter, all this after she reassured me that she would Never take my baby from me.  Well, I hired an attorney as soon as I got word what she had done, that was almost one year ago.  I don't understand why I don't have my daughter back.  I don't do drugs, I passed a hair follicle test, I have a 3 bedroom house, yet still I don't have my baby back.  Many of you may judge on the next thing I'm about to tell, but at this point I don't care.  What my attorney is telling me is that my job is the main set back.  I'm a dancer.  November will be a year that I have been in this occupation.  Why does my job matter so much, I'm her mom.  I'm in college, and I still have another kid that lives with me that I must support.  If someone has some advise, I could really use some right now. 


  11. Lissie profile image75
    Lissieposted 15 years ago

    hmm I don't know US law but in my country the decision on custody is about the child's best interests not the parents. 

    From you story you abandoned your child for 6 months: maybe you don't you think you did but I suspect the child does: 6 months is a very long time for a child.  The aunt bonded with the child - why wouldn't she.  The aunt is not your relative but your exes - what did you expect?

    What hours do you work? What childcare arrangements do you have so that your child is not left alone?  Is your home safe and secure for a child? These are the issues that a court should address I would hope - I can't see why your profession would have anything to do directly with the case but you should be able 2 answer the above  in my opinion.

    At the end of the day if the job is a real issue: get a new one - whats important the child or your job?

  12. Rangerwife profile image60
    Rangerwifeposted 15 years ago

    That happened to me when I was younger.  The court took me away from my mother because my father claimed all kinds of lies.  It wasn't until 9 months later that the court returned me to my mother stating that there was no just cause to have taken us in the first place.  My only recommendation is that you get a good lawyer.  It wasn't until my mother had a lawyer that anything was done for her.

    1. profile image53
      butterflyhelpposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      hi rangerwife
      i went to court for custody going on for 6 years had no more money for lawyer then went to court, the court took my kids from me and their was not just cause. i now have an attorney and trying to get them back. its almost a year since my kids been with their father sometimes i wonder if only child support the fathers are trying to get way with.

  13. AEvans profile image72
    AEvansposted 15 years ago

    Looks to me, like you trusted someone you should not have as , she did not have any good intentions behind her choice. However you stated kids meaning multiple , why did you leave 1 behind and take the other, I would look at it as abandonment , you take all or leave all and all should be treated equally.
    As for being a dancer, don't make it your life long dream , continue college and get an education. As for the way the courts look at it, honestly you do know how the courts look at it. Are you sure this is not more to this, that you are not disclosing? If your daughter is better off with the father, let him be the responsible party until you really get your life on track. I have always told my husband that if i could not take care of our children, I would expect him to take them and if we are both financially capable then we share custody without argument.
    I am not trying to be harsh but I would never separate my children as they both go , or they are both left you made a choice and now you need to be a responsible young adult and make the right choice for your daughter instead of spinning your wheels and spending money that you do not need to. Take care of the one you have and do not be so selfish , do what is best for

  14. JYOTI KOTHARI profile image61
    JYOTI KOTHARIposted 15 years ago

    I think the one point sollution to the problem is to stay with one's spouse. America is a place where family bonds are being disappeared.

    This may be a result of non-regulated freedom but everyone has to suffer from the separations, the father, the mother and the innocent children.

    In many cases American child gets love from either of the parents. This is not good for emotional growth of a child.

    The whole thing is to be rethought!

    Jyoti Kothari

  15. profile image52
    kindness32posted 15 years ago

    on august 19 ,2008. both of was kids was takin & put in a foster home. it hurt me really bad. we had a very good time together that day. I told my kids to class & we went to my workers house. my worker took my home. I get a knock at the was a cps worker. intake worker & 2 policemen. they told me to my face they was takin my kids & putting them in a foster home. I did not know my rights. they did not tell me nothin & they did not give me know papers. When my kids was  already gone I had asked a lot of my friends about what had happen. a lot of my friends told me they have to have a court order removal to take kids. since i did not know what kind of removal it was. i had started looking online for information.  I did find out what kind of removal they took my kids on which is called a emergency removal.nothin was wrong with my kids & both of my kids are still in a foster home. I need a good lawyer right . cps workers take kids on a emergency removal because it is the easy way to take kids away. dont trust cps workers. we need to stop cps workers they are takin way too many kids away. I would like to start my own group here in canton ohio ther is a lot of people dealing with cps. we all need to come together & keeping on fighting for own kids. dont give up becaus ther is always something better we have to keep on thinking I do have my cps hand book. you should go get information like police reports the police was there when my kids was taken I went to the police station to get a police report. the women till me that it was only a call for the police to come out. I told the women that the police was there & my kids was taken & put in a foster home. she told me that there was no police report made out by the 2 policemen. lets keep on fighting cps to get own kids home dont give up. anyone can e-mail me im always online we need to let everyone know who cps really is. we need a good lawyer to help fight cps. thanks to everyone who is reading my story keep on fighting


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