Can I legally make my brother move my father to a home closer to where he is awa

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   landscapeartistposted 13 years ago

   Can I legally make my brother move my father to a home closer to where he is away from me?
   
   My father was very abusive to my brothers, sisters and I when we were kids.  My mom finally left him and we all disowned him.  I took him to court and he went to prison for 2 years for the abuse I suffered.  The system placed him in a home that is like a 15 min drive from my home.  My brother is in charge of him, yet he lives 4 hours away.  I want that man as far away from me as he can possibly be.  Family won't come see me because he is so close to me, and I can't sleep at night because he is so close. He's never seen my kids or grandbabies thank god!

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   Larry Wallposted 13 years ago

   Unless your father has given you or your brother Power of Attorney, then this is going to be one of those family matters that you just have to work out. If your father was causing some type of criminal harm to you or was a threat to you, you could get the courts involved. However, if it just involves taking care of an aging parent, there is no easy answer. The task usually falls to the daughter--not saying it is right or fair, just an observation. My mother died of ALS. For about the first eight months of the illness, my sister, who was already living at home, too care of her and I came in every other weekend. When my mother got sicker, we moved her to a nursing home in the City where I was living and I took over--visited almost every day and checked with the nurses and doctors frequently during that time.
   
   Taking care of aging parents is something no one looks forward to, but it is a part of life.

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      landscapeartistposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I wish it was just that we didnt get along but it wasnt that. It was so much more, and no matter how much time has gone by I am not recovering from it.  Thank you for taking the time to answer my question.

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   ginjill ashberryposted 13 years ago

   landscapeartist,
   What i am going to write may not be what you think is the first priority; but i'll share my view anyways, as a suggestion.
   Have you ever wonder that moving your father away may not be the solution to your sleepless night?
   No matter how far he is from you; he can still visit you and become real to you in your mind by the endless repetition; through reminders or memories, all those many, many years from a kid to adulthood, to.. now.
   Can i suggest that you release him from your heart and let him go? For your sake and the future generation? You are so much stronger now, so much wiser, with such abundance of talent, two generations of family after you. You survive it, decide to live.
   You were brave and you victored by handing him over to the authority. He can't hurt you anymore UNLESS if you let him.
   Deep down in your heart, you must have known that it didn't matter where he is. Even if he is placed at the ends of the earth. Peace is not far and it's what you truly need and yearn for. Unclench the fist that still hold that anger. It's time to leave it behind.
   I hope your family will also be more supportive and visit you whenever they can as usual. People need to be together in times of distress. Peace be with you and your loved one's.

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      landscapeartistposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      This is something that I've been dealing with for so long now & I'm tired both emotionally & mentally.  You're right that I feel that I'll never be rid of him no matter how far away he is.  I have my family near but I'm battling this on my ow

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