How do you tell your family memebers no?
Sometime family can be a pain, they ask for stuff, they borrow money with no intentions on paying it back, or sometimes they want you to take part in something that is moraly wrong. What do you do?
As for the money, well here you've got me. My sister is in a really difficult state and because my son is living with her (different city from where I am) I send as much money as I can afford to help pay for the electricity. I don't expect to get it back nor do I want to. Now when my son moves out, if she needs my help and I can offer it, I will gladly give it. But when it comes to morally wrong behaviour (which has never happened to me), I would just say N-O, NO. For someone to ask of you something like that, this person is thinking only of himself and doesn't give a diddly squat about the consequences concerning you.
It is easy to tell people "no" when you understand that saying "yes" is not really helping them and makes them resentful of you.
When you give too much, you make people dependent. This is bad for all concerned.
Easily. I give them the true reason that I don't want to help them. First is to protect myself and my possessions from anyone, in the family and outside of the family.
I would never agree to do anything that was morally wrong, and definitely not anything that was illegal. As for lending money, or my personal possessions, hmmm. If they were in financial trouble through no fault of their own (they'd lost their job, suffered ill health, and so on) I would certainly lend money and would not expect it back (though I have no money to lend at the moment anyway!). If they had gotten themselves into financial trouble I would not lend money, no. Personal possessions - I only lend them to people I know will take care of them. If something had been damaged by the person before I would never lend them another thing.
I suppose I'm pretty selfish in this way, but I work hard and expect other people to do the same if they want to earn my respect or ask me for favours. You don't do anyone any favours by allowing them to be dependent on you.
Never keep from the family. Don't hide until if it is the matter of life and death. Say truthfully.
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