What do you do if your teenager decides not to go to collage?

1. 95

   aDayInMyLife1posted 12 years ago

   What do you do if your teenager decides not to go to collage?
   
   If your teenager decides not to go to collage what should you do? Do you make them get  a job? Make them start paying bills? Do you continue to allow them to live for free in your house and live like a teenager?

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2. 60

   flashmakeitposted 12 years ago

   That is a sad word collage.  If I had a teenager that did not want to attend college I would find a trade school they may be interested in and I would be sure to tell them that after they reach 21 they will have to move in their own house.  I would find their talent and support whatever talent they had with great encouragement.

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3. 73

   Mom Katposted 12 years ago

   Once your child is 18 you can't "make" them do anything.  Like it or not, it is his/her choice what they want to do.  If you don't want to be supportive of his/her choice, it is at this point, your choice to no longer provide them with free room and board.
   
   You could say that going to college is a mandatory part of continuing to live under your roof, but that's about as much as you can "make" another adult do anything.

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4. 60

   duffsmomposted 12 years ago

   You can't force someone to want an education. It would be nice if there could be a compromise and they could try a class or two. Once they do, they may decide it is the right thing for them.
   
   But if they steadfastly refuse, there is little you can do but let them know they must be a contributing member of the household and that means a job. Once they get a job and start working hours and hours for very little--it might also change their mind.
   
   I would set up a plan for some kind of payment to assist in household expenses.  Even if you don't need their financial help, it is what is good for them. You can always tuck the money away for them if they ever decide to attend classes.
   
   Also trying a class or two online might get them interested in going to college.

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5. 60

   StandingJaguarposted 12 years ago

   Get an education or move out. It's okay for people to take a "break" before going to college, but there needs to be some sort of plan or idea of why they are taking a break and when they will seek a higher education. It's time for them to learn what it means to be responsible and to be an adult (though it would be better if they started learning this sooner...). Help them find a place, but they're responsible for their own bills and food, which means they need a job. If they choose to continue their education, then in this case you can continue to help them (if YOU choose). As a parent you are no longer doing your child any favors by letting them freeload in your house as an 18+ year-old with no plan and no responsibilities.

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6. 63

   beadreamer247posted 12 years ago

   First of all every responsible mother should know just allowing them to live for free at that age is not a smart idea. They are old enough to at least get a job. If they don't want to go to college, why are you so terrible under pressure with yourself? It is your teenager's choice and he/she has to go there every day and not you! You cannot make them fulfill your wishes. It seems for you it sounds the perfect plan and idea and right thing to do, but it is not for everybody and respect that. Maybe at a later time he/she might opt for college, you never know.

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7. 88

   sholland10posted 12 years ago

   I took four years off after high school.  I needed the maturity.  I definitely worked.  WIth my kids, they both knew they had to work even if they went to college.  They each paid a very minimal amount of rent each month ($100), which didn't even cover their cell phone and car insurance, let alone food and other household expenses.  It did teach them they had to plan on paying a bill.  While they made more than enough to pay it, they didn't like giving up that money.  (Welcome to the real world...)
   
   If your child doesn't want to go to college now, give it some time.  Once they work in jobs they do not like (and you do need to insist on getting a job), they will decide they need a profession. 
   
   I see this all the time as a high school teacher.  Kids come by to visit years later, and I find out they didn't go straight to college. 
   
   Your responsibility is to teach them to be productive members of society.  Going into college or a vocational school may have to wait.  It seems it takes kids longer to decide, but who am I to say?  Again, it took me 4 years.  I think it will be fine.

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8. 61

   workingmomplusposted 12 years ago

   In my work with teens who are graduating with high school, it definitely makes sense to enforce a sense of responsibility in the teen.  This could come in many forms, including doing something productive during their time after high school, such as a job or even helping others, which in my mind is even better, such as City Year, a program to help underprivileged populations and neighborhoods.  People who I have known have loved this program and it does teach a lot of responsibility.  There is also some sort of internship traveling in a field that they're interested in.  There are scholarships you can get if it seems too expensive.  It would just be good to have the child widen their comfort zone, even if school is not the answer at this point.

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