Do you ever find yourself being a little hypocritical when it comes to disciplining your children?
You know the old "Don't do as I do, do as I say" speech. Whether it's with the best intentions from our own experiences or trying instill morals we've all done it. We teach them not to lie, yet we've all told a few whether it's being late for work or that looks great on you when it reality it doesn't. Then there's the no cheating, yet when it's tax time (hmmmm), or sneaking a few extra minutes for a break at work, smoking or drinking when preaching otherwise.
Ever feel a little hypocritical about it and how do you justify it in your own mind?
Also telling kids about Santa Claus, The Tooth Fairy, and The Easter Bunny are lies as well. We say "obey the law" and then we constantly drive over the speed limit. Call in sick to work when there is nothing wrong with us...etc I believe most parent's goal is to "teach" their child (right) from (wrong). At the very least they want them to KNOW they are doing something that is not condoned.
Hypocrisy is built into our DNA as humans. :-)
Indeed, we found ourselves hypocrites when we admonish our children for their mistakes when we also have them, but often, we spurn this idea of ''setting a exemplary example for our children'' because we don't want to deal with it, but merely imbibing our children with morals and values in a pontifical manner. In the short term, this may bring good, but in the long run, it will bring harm as our children realize that their parents are simply deceitful.
Yes and I don't feel one iota of guilt. When they are parents, they can be hypocrites to their evil little hearts' content.
Yes, I have been in the past when I was much younger. I justify myself because it was how I behaved at the time; I didn't know any better. Now, at the age of 50 and after following many seminars and guided by professionals to be a better mother, better teacher and all around better at anything.....well now I know. You see, we all behave according to the examples set forth for us and while we sense or see what is wrong in our behaviour, we cannot truly change until again it is shown to us.
Yes, I do sometimes feel hypocritical when I don't follow the rules that I expect my kids to follow. However, kids are smart and deserve more credit than we often give. My kids certainly know the difference between telling a lie purely for personal gain ("I'm not the one who dropped your new laptop down the stairs") and giving someone an honest answer that could hurt their feelings, ("Yes, I do think those jeans make your butt look big"). They also know that Santa and the Easter Bunny are not harmful lies but are stories that create holiday fun. I think once kids grow past pre-K/kindergarten or maybe the earliest grades, they are smart enough to discern when rules should not be broken and when it is OK to bend them a little -- and cut their rule-breaking parents some slack.
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