Does it ever bother you when you treat your children better then you were ever treated?
I don't begrudge how I treat my boys but as I care for them I sometimes find myself envying them. Is that strange, why or why not?
No way. If it bothered me that I treated my children better than I was treated, then I would be putting my ego before what should be the truth--that my children are treated well by their mother. I do not feel envy, though, so perhaps my response isn't average.
Personally I think my parents treated me better than I treated my own kids. Why - well I was a single mum and had to work away a lot, my folks helped bring my kids up. Having come from a home where Mum and Dad were always there involving us in things and making sure we got the right disciplin etc, I did not know what it was to NOT HAVE parents around all the time. Because I had a great childhood with my folks I naturally thought they would have a great childhood with them too. I did not realise I was what they needed to have a great childhood. What bothers me is that I did not give them what I took for granted and that was a Mum and Dad there at all times. However they turned out great and because they both know what it was like to not have parents with them all the time, they are making sure their kids have what they not experience. Sorry to waffle on.
I vowed, as did my husband, that my children would NEVER have to worry about insecurity, absentee parents, or putting my wants and needs above theirs....I swore I would not do to my children what was done to me and, although, I live pretty much in the opposite way society dictates (I'm a stay at home mom), I have given my children what I so desperately needed growing up - a parent who is always there should they need me, encouragement, love, and security. Although I wish that I could have had parents like we are to our children, I do not envy them, our choices are our own.
It should never bother anyone when they have the opportunity to treat their children better than they themselves were treated while growing up. It should be pride that you feel, not envy. Perhaps envy is the wrong word to be using anyway. It is OK to feel the pride in being a good parent, and also the sadness in knowing that you were not able to experience what your children are blessed to experience.
But, by realizing that your able to do better for your children is also experiencing what you missed by participating in your children's blessings as well.
So, be proud of what you are able do for your children, and in yourself for not doing to your children what your parents did (or did not) do for you.
Not at all. My goal when my husband and I had children was to always give them a better life than what we had. Not only monetary but emotionally, mentally and our time, we wanted them to have a stable positive life. So far we are blessed that we have been able to accomplish this and I am grateful for being given the opportunity to give them everything they have.
I never feel jealousy or envy since I am proud that I had some impact in having them become the individuals they are now. They make me proud everyday.
I was treated very well as a child, but there are things I do different than my mother. I don't feel bad because I want the best for my children. I believe my mother wanted the best for me, too. There are some things I am less strict about than she was, yet there are other things I am more strict than she was.
Raising well-rounded children should be our goal. We must discipline and love our children. There are good and bad consequences for many actions, and we should teach our children to be responsible for their actions. Being appropriate with our actions and reactions is what parents need to concentrate on. :-)
Making sure my sons are loved and treated justly and with respect is a point of pride for me. I want each of my boys to avoid the pitfalls I had to endure growing up. I love my children with all my heart, therefore I am happy that they will never have to see or experience what I had to endure.
I don't envy my sons for having a better childhood than I did...I intentionally planned it that way and worked hard to make it happen. Praise be to God.
I had a very happy childhood, but if my children have it even better, I'm all for it. Of course, they benefit from more creature comforts, due to the difference in generations, but the most important question is : are they happy? I am old enough to remember the days when my grandparents didn't have running water in their house and no electricity, so I can measure the progress that has been made over the past fifty years or so. Would they be happy for me that I don't have to fetch water a hundred feet from the house and break the ice the to fill my bucket ? I think so!
I grew up with no elec/water/indoor toilet. we carried water in, used an outhouse, heated water on a wood stove, had gas lamps. Not a hardship if U know nothing else. Kids today do not appreciate what they have & expect even more.
Imagine if all the power stopped on this planet-especially the US-I don't think a lot of people would adjust too well.
No. What gets me irked is when the children, after you do everything for them that you are able to, are unappreciative. They will throw a fit if you do not buy them something. My older daughter was like that-one time she wanted a new cell phone because hers broke. I politely told her that she would have to wait a couple of weeks because I was tied up with bills. She kept harping me and she finally get the message when I yelled at her to get out of my face. She's older now and in college and understands a lot better.
Most intelligent, caring, & thinking parents treat their children better than they were treated in childhood. It is par for the course. Most parents want to do this & are PROUD of this.
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