Do they need you when they are no longer on the planet?

1. 83

   pstraubie48posted 12 years ago

   Do they need you when they are no longer on the planet?
   
   A precious loved one, Mother, Father, Sister, or Brother or some other special loved one dies. The family flocks to the memorial service or funeral and there is much weeping a wailing. While that same precious person was still living, no one could visit or call that same person. I do not get it. Any thoughts??
   
   

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2. 0

   mikeq107posted 12 years ago

   Someone once said “A friend in need is a pest “Hahaha
   
   That said :0) there are about 1000 ways to answer your great question.  Here is my take.
   Back in the day before Henry ford gave us the model T most families lived in the same Village. Most Dads were home every night or worked down stairs ergo the Candle stick maker / Butcher/ Grocer, farmer etc. The kids went to a one room school house or where taught at home, Mom made apple pie and the village square was where friends and families gathered, everything from dances to celebrations to courting...ok, I know you get it...bottom line Relationships had strong bonds and in most towns the tallest building was a church steeple.
   
   Today we have cars, freeways with interstate travel, planes, trains, credit cards and the church steeple has been replaced by the sears tower / corporate beast that feeds the hungry shareholders with no real thought for the neighborhood square or Moms apple pie, just the bottom line more and more and more moola and yes everybody’s HAPPY, right only if you puff on your medical Marijuana prescribed as a cure for all the fallout from the Get rich quick 1% theory.
   
   In Short we have lost our way, Little boo peep is in debtors prison and her sheep are working 2 jobs 24/7 to pay enormous interest on credit cards and mortgages to live the so called American dream which Died  with ‘Don Maclean’ a long, long time ago and the only way to experience the Dream now is to go to sleep then wake up and take your 1% prescribed drugs and visit your new father for $120 an hour the local Head shrink-er who tells you to “Take a vacation and forgive your father” and you say I had 3 Which one ?
   Then if things are not bad enough Mama gets cancer and Junior is diabetic and Your cute daughter has a bun in the oven and the Baker is AWL and on Television they are having re-runs of a show called “Little house on the Prairie and you wonder ‘ What are they on ? I want some Pa? :0(
   Finally to end it all some of you die and the rest of you are left standing around the graveside wondering what the heck happened or I’m sure I know this guy or is it that funeral over there, Dad lived in Cleveland right? Oh well nobody will notice you think as you take another puff……
   
   Ok, Probably not the answer you were expecting, but its 3 in the morning and I had fun writing it and now I`m off to bed….
   Later Mike: 0)

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      fpherj48posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Mike....You should make it a point to always write at 3 in the morning.  This is positively and stunningly REAL.

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   2. 0

      mikeq107posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks Paula :0)

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3. 46

   DDEposted 12 years ago

   When you have your beloved ones with you they should be loved and appreciated but when they are no longer alive it is too late then to cry and go tot heir graves and set flowers. It makes no sense when the people close to us are not appreciated when alive. If any person doesn't care for their families while alive then  after death should be the same. Often one takes the other for granted and in the process neglect  showing appreciation or love for the other. I agree with mikeq107 as well.

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4. 0

   scriber1posted 12 years ago

   The old axiom "familiarity breeds contempt" couldn't be a more appropriate answer to this question.  That which we know, we avoid; that which we lose we regret; that which we wonder about........we ask questions.

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5. 40

   Borsiaposted 12 years ago

   "Where there is a will there is a line."
   I worked in a cemetery at one time so I have been to a lot of funerals and seen those gathered as an outsider, overhearing the chatter I have to say that the answer is guilt for many.

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6. 97

   Gabriel Wilsonposted 12 years ago

   I was told by my late Grandmother (a clever old gal) that funerals are not for the person who has passed but for us; the ones left behind. It's a time for us to gather and realize who's left; hence the wailing and crying!
   Now wether we're crying because we thought our dear old Uncle Fred (for want of a name) (with loads of money) was nearly dead or wailing when we find out not only is he very much alive but he's married a dolly bird 30 years younger is another thing

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7. 74

   LouTucciposted 12 years ago

   My Grandpa used to say - you didn't care about me when I was alive, don't care about me when I'm dead!

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8. 60

   duffsmomposted 12 years ago

   I think we always hope that the relationship will change and that we have time to make the change.  But when someone dies, the opportunity to reconnect is gone - forever.  So I think people tend to remember the good, and sort of idealize the person that has passed.
   
   Wrote a poem here about it:  A Life Dissolved.

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9. 68

   recappers delightposted 12 years ago

   People sometimes take for granted the people they have in their lives while those people are still there. We take for granted the very essence of being alive. That sad truth was the basis of the entire third act of Our Town by Thornton Wilder.  They don't need you when they are no longer on the planet - but you may still need them, and you may be kicking yourself over the opportunities lost. That memorial service is not a final visit to the dead. It's therapy for the living.

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10. 0

    Garifaliaposted 12 years ago

    My sentiments exactly. When I dislike someone (not immediate family members), I cannot pretend to do so when they're alive nor after death. But I cannot behave towards immediate family members as though they are acquaintances which I choose not to see again. Perhaps I'm lucky in that despite our imperfections, we can all still find love and compassion for each other.
    I do agree with what you're saying: resolve differences while individual is alive and do not play it concerned when gone.

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11. 61

    sisterofdummyposted 12 years ago

    In a way, the deceased are still with you ever though they aren't standing beside you that you can see.  The spirit occasionally comes back in a dream or something like that to say goodbye or anything else for the family they feel like they didn't do while they were living.

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