Why do children in large families tend to raise and fend for themselves from a v

1. 83

   gmwilliamsposted 12 years ago

   Why do children in large families tend to raise and fend for themselves from a very young
   
   age?  In large and very large familiesa(6 and more children), parental resources are oftentimes stretched to the limit.   Parents cannot possibly give individualized attention and support to each of their children.   Oftentimes, it is the youngest children who receive the most parental attention-that is until they get older.   Older children in such families are often left to do the best they can or they are assigned to raise their younger siblings.  Parental involvement in large family is next to nil.  The primary relationship that children have in large families are with siblings.

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2. 99

   GoodLadyposted 12 years ago

   I',m the eldest of seven children.  At the age of 7, I was the eldest of 5.  My brother was born before I was 1.  I was his little Mommy.  I was my brother's and sister's Mommy!  My mother was always so busy with having a baby and doing so many other things (cooking, cleaning). My father was a farmer and was out day and night.  It's automatic to become so responsible for all your brothers and sisters when you are the eldest because  you love them.  And there they are, all small on the floor, needing you.
   I was in charge of mine most of the time, and loved them like my own.  I never knew another life.  This was my life! 
   It wasn't a 'bad' life.  It was rich in love and experience.  I never knew what it was like to have special love all day, to be guided 'specially' by my parents.  It may have had an affect on my life and choices but then, when you think of the whole world, there are trillions of people out there who have nothing at all.
   I'm certainly very capable as an adult, which has stood me in good stead.
   And I have a lot of loving brothers and sister nephews and nieces.  And a lovely relationship with my own mother.  She had her crosses to bear when I was little.  The older generation had a whole different take on life.

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   1. 83

      gmwilliamsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Oldest children in large and very large families have the hardest life imaginable.   Such poor children are parentified children who assume parenting duties early in life.   They have to forfeit their childhood and adolescence, raising young siblings

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3. 77

   dbroomfiposted 12 years ago

   I am the oldest of seven children, and I have to say that overall our parents started out giving us pretty much equal attention. It was not until they divorced, that our world changed drastically. At that point we really had to fend for ourselves because they were distracted with their problems. Of course, I always had to help with the others and their was sibling rivalry. I think that the degree that children in large families tend to raise and fend for themselves depends on the quality of their parent's parenting and their living circumstance. On a scale from 0 to 10, ours went from say a 3 to a 8, when our parents became distracted. So to answer the question, I believe a parent or parents can give a large group of children adequate attention, by finding a system that enables them to spend quality time with each one. In a big family principles can be easily taught because there are so many opportunities to interact with others. While one or two kid families can have their own space, clothes, time, etc. Larger families have to learn how to share, exepting that they have to make space for each other's needs. We do all fend for ourselves now, agressively, that we our grown, I think because we learned that we have to be able to survive outside the pack.
   I think it all comes down to how well the parents do their job. We grew up knowing other large families, and some kids really had to fend for themselves and were often left to themselves, and I have to say their parents' parenting styles were different from our parents.

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   1. 83

      gmwilliamsposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I have a hub on this question. Children from large families for the most part have to raise and fend for themselves.Parental resources are stretched very thin emotionally,psychologically,& mentally.They cannot give adequate attention to their kid

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4. 76

   Moon Daisyposted 12 years ago

   Yes, my grandma's family was like this.  She was the oldest girl of 10 children.  So whilst her mother was having more and more babies and tending to them, my grandma raised the rest of them, and took on a midwife role too.  I can't imagine that life.
   
   It's telling that she chose to stop at two children, while her younger siblings had bigger families.  For them childhood had been easier and I suppose a large family seemed more idyllic!

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   1. 83

      gmwilliamsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      The average oldest child in a large and very large family choose to have small families or no children at all.   They have had firsthand experience of what it is like to raise a large number of children that were not theirs.

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   2. 76

      Moon Daisyposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      That's very interesting.  And understandable.  It must have been a hard old life for the ones at the top, while the younger ones must have lovely memories of being cosseted by mum and many surrogate mums.  They possibly didn't see the problem at all.

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