How many children are considered too many for a couple to have?

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  1. daydreamer13 profile image60
    daydreamer13posted 9 years ago

    How many children are considered too many for a couple to have?

  2. Sky321 profile image82
    Sky321posted 9 years ago

    I don't think there is a number but maybe it would depend on their circumstances. I heard my mother and grandma talking about people who came from families of 20. LOL. I can't imagine but to each is own.

  3. ChristinS profile image37
    ChristinSposted 9 years ago

    I think in many instances larger families are inclined to have problems.  Once you get beyond a few children, the one on one parental attention wanes, older children have to start caring for the younger ones etc.  There's also the need to be able to provide for all of them, and in modern times, college degrees are expensive and don't go as far as they used to.  There are so many things to consider and there is no "blanket answer". 

    Some families are better able to manage large numbers, but I have a family member who has 9 and refuses to stop.  She cannot care for all of them properly and burdens the grandparents with helping to raise them all.  The father won't keep a job and she has to work and they are in poverty. Their grades are awful, one of the oldest ones is just this side of functionally illiterate and is still about to graduate high school (that's a whole other subject) and it's all because she is ill equipped to raise a huge family and meet all of their needs.  She loves the attention she gets from having such a large brood though.

      I get upset with her because she doesn't seem to mind burdening others due to her belief that God is blessing her with them, when it's actually a biological function she could control if she chose to. She is being irresponsible bringing more children into the world that she cannot afford or attend to all of their basic needs.

    Are all large families like this? No, but it sure makes it hard for each child to get the solid start they need in life, the education, the parental involvement etc.  I am thankful I came from a small family every time I look at hers.

    1. gmwilliams profile image84
      gmwilliamsposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      ChristinS, you are succinct as usual in your analysis on large families.  I believe that a couple should have 1 or 2 children, maybe 3 or 4 children.  Anything beyond this is purely inane. Parents can't effectively raise a large number of  children!

  4. Express10 profile image86
    Express10posted 9 years ago

    Any number that they did not plan for and are not emotionally stable enough for and financially prepared for. For some people this number would be as little as one child, for others it could be several. I think very large families are not best for children because even if money is plentiful for that family the hours in the day to provide consistent and abundant quality time and guidance are often not.

  5. dashingscorpio profile image81
    dashingscorpioposted 9 years ago

    If a couple cannot afford to feed, clothe, and provide for educational, medical, and dental needs as well as spend (time) nurturing their children they probably have too many.

  6. fetty profile image65
    fettyposted 9 years ago

    Depends upon the couple!  This is one of those thought provoking questions that really have no black or white answer.  If the couple can't provide the basic needs of the children and can't provide quality time with each child , this time would be determined by the needs of each child and would vary for each child; and if the couple is not comfortable with fulfilling those needs, then they have too many!  This could be true for a family of one up to 12 children , let's  say.  I have personally witnessed emotionally drained families of one  and wonderfully  vibrant families of eleven.  This all depends upon the dedication and love of the parents and of the children involved.

  7. gmwilliams profile image84
    gmwilliamsposted 9 years ago

    I believe that couples (if they want children) should have the amount that they can comfortably care for financially, emotionally, and psychologically.  It is important for couples to have a stable, sustaining career in order to afford their children a socioeconomic life beyond rudimentary existence. If a person is socioeconomically poor, he/she shouldn't have children. I further assert that a couple should have either a small(1-2 kids per family) or medium sized(3-4 kids per family). In small & medium sized families, parents have adequate span of control & children receive individualized parental attention, love,& time. There are more monies allotted per child in smaller families.

    In large families of 6 or more children per family, there is little or no parental attention.  Children have to raise themselves & each other.  Children are forced to become adults/taking on adult responsibilities during childhood such as parenting & working.  Poverty is a commonplace occurrence in large families. Children have to work to supplement family income & get the things that other children have. Children in large families have to forgo secondary/tertiary education to work to support their families. Even if wealthy, large families are wrong as some children will receive attention while others will be neglected.  Small families(1-2 kids per family) are best all around for children's in terms of socioeconomics, parental attention, emotional well-being & opportunities.  Medium-sized(3-4 kids per family) provide that large family atmosphere w/o the suffering & deprivation which is typical of large families.


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