Who is a child’s disciplinarian or final decision maker in a blended marriage/family?
A blended marriage is one where both partners bring children from previous marriages to their new household.
I’ve observed children being disciplined/ordered around by several family members in these cases. Stepparents, step grandparents, step uncles and aunts, and more, including step family members from several previous marriages, not just the current marriage/stepfamily.
I feel sorry for these children with so many ‘bosses’ who often don’t agree with each other. How frustrating it must be for these children who aren’t to blame for the situation in any way.
I would say the child's birth parent should be the one to make all the final decisions. I see this sometimes in our family when my parents or my wife's parents visit. Everyone telling my son what to do and he tends to look like a deer caught in headlights.
Someone needs to make it clear to those being bossy and to the child that there needs to be only a few people offering "advice" on how to behave. I understand it takes a village to raise a child, but too many people saying different things can be confusing for everyone.
The mate of the parent should defer all discipline to the partent, unless the child is left in the custody of the mate. In which case the mate would have the authority of a babysitter.
My Stepfather did not discipline any of us, except when he was caring for us without my mom being present.
That prevents resentment, anger and creates respect for both the parent and non parent.
I think biological father would be the appropriate authority; in case of his demised, biological mother should be the disciplinarian of the kid.
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