When is the right time to speak to your younger sibling about sex?
Let's face it - most of us hated it when our parents gave us "the talk" - so for those of us who have a younger brother or sister when do you think it is most appropriate to discuss sex?
Not sure. Very interesting question I have not considered. Frankly, my parents never had the 'talk' with me. They did correct me as I brought up stuff or did practice stuff. Never a real sit down 'talk'. I had an older sister and a younger sister on both sides of me. So, that meant we did not talk of that subject. With younger brothers I was kinda' long gone when age appropriate to have that talk.
This is a good concept. If the older brother or sister does it responsibly then it's probably a lot less awkward for the young one to hear about sex from a sibling than from a parent. Though in my opinion, parents shouldn't give one big "Talk". It should just be an open-to-questions subject throughout childhood so that everyone grows slowly comfortable with it.
To answer your question, I'd let the younger sibling bring it up first. Maybe the older sibling can make it clear it's okay to talk about these things by saying "You know what's cool about an older sister (or brother)? You can talk to me about stuff you don't want our old parents to hear!"
I started talking to my daughter when she could understand the reproductive concept. I believe she was around 5 or so. Now you might say that is to early. But every talk since she has been 5 has not been uncomfortable. I believe it worked well for both of us.
A five-year-old asked her older sister, age 15, "Where did I come from?" The teen was stymied, sputtered, ramped up her courage and started a birds and bees lecture , after which the child said: "My friend Ally told me she came from Hoboken. Did I come from there too?"
This old joke holds a great deal of truth. First, talk when the child asks! Then make sure to keep it simple and in synch with the child's age level and exact question. A four-year-old doesn't need a course in biology, whereas a ten-year-old needs more information in greater depth.
Take your cues from the little one. Oh ... and keep your tone and attitude positive and calm. No closed windows. They cast a negative, mysterious, shadow on the information.
Finally, tell the child this is a personal question to be shared at home with family and not with others in the schoolyard, or you may getting some irate phone calls from disgruntled parents!
Marnie Winston-Macauley M.S.
Thank you for your in-depth answer. I feel a bit out of sorts with it because she's near the age already of being sexually active, but I know she hasn't been spoken to about sex by an adult family member. This is why I thought "I could do it!"
Hi Whitney. Have you talked to a parent or adult in the household about this? Warmly, Marnie
I did and it was agreed upon that it would be better for me to speak to my younger sister about it. Our father literally went ashen with the idea of even doing it himself, hahaha.
i think we need to wait until the young asks for it or when we can feel about some unusual activities of theirs.
I think a parent should be ready when a child asks. I'm not a believer in a formal talk but rather one who thinks sex is a natural subject and should be approached casually and w/o embarrassment. Answer questions in the simplest way. Your child will ask more if needed. TV shows, books, and movies present ways to open discussion in an informal way. I always try to keep it objective. Kids are more comfortable that way.
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