What kind of parenting is this? Good, poor, foolish, something else?

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   bethperryposted 10 years ago

   What kind of parenting is this? Good, poor, foolish, something else?
   
   A friend told me an incident she recently experienced: one of her neighbors came over to borrow sanity napkins (for her 15-year old daughter) and flour, eggs and salmon for her family as they had already sent $300 to a church that feeds the children of illegal immigrants and $300 more to a foundation for people living in the Gaza Strip. My friend gave her the items but not before telling the neighbor that she should have thought of her own family before sending all their money off to charity. She says the neighbor went off angry. What do you think of the neighbor's parenting priorities?

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   Suzanne Dayposted 10 years ago

   I think the neighbour is very stupid. If I handed out all of my money to everyone who asked for it on any given day, I wouldn't have any food to eat either. And to be angry about charity given to you after you frittered your money away is just disgusting. I feel sorry for kids in this situation who probably can't make sense of what is going on.

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   Allyson Cardisposted 10 years ago

   It sounds like someone who is too easily influenced and who struggles to make prioritized decisions.  I think a lot of people do this but mask it by juggling credit so it's not noticeable immediately.

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   Old Poolmanposted 10 years ago

   It seems this person models her spending after our own government.
   
   They give billions of dollars to countries that hate us, then turn to the taxpayers to give them back the money they gave away.
   
   This person is well qualified to run for office and will fit well with our current politicians.

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      gmwilliamsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      OOOOOuch, SPOT ON....

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   dashingscorpioposted 10 years ago

   "Charity begins at home" is often said and it has merit.
   You can't help anyone if you're at the bottom yourself. Sometimes the best thing you can do is provide people with information on where to go to get help. You have to take care of home first.
   The neighbor should not have been angry with your friend. If you're going to borrow or receive help from someone there is always a (price) to pay even if it's advice you don't want to hear.
   Many years ago I was walking down a street in LA and overheard two homeless men talking. One was telling the other about a church missionary that served hot meals for dinner.
   The guy responded by saying; "I don't want to go there. They make you attend a prayer service before they feed you." 
   Some people don't want to pay ANY price for getting help whether it be words of advice or prayer. LOL!

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      bethperryposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      dashingscorpio, I think you may be right there.

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   Sri Tposted 10 years ago

   Actually there is a spiritual law that rewards those who give out of their own need. So look out for the blessings that will be coming. Those who give are blessed with good fortune sooner or later. It works for charities, millionaires, billionaires and even people who are broke. Whenever you give, you receive something in return. I have seen it thousands of times.

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      Robert the Bruceposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I'm not against giving to charity and I do it myself from time to time, but at this point that person is just showing herself to be irresponsible. Another spiritual laws talks about providing for your own house.

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      bethperryposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Sri T, I've heard that too. But what is the spiritual law about making your own kids do without food because you've spent all your money to feed the children of others? Just curious.

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      Sri Tposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      The Universe supplies the needs in it's own way and time. One has to be intuitive and a receiver to recognize the signs for the blessings.

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   Express10posted 10 years ago

   I would not have given them anything. I hate it when people come to my door begging or asking for things that they chose to forgo on "faith" hoping that things would "fall into place." I have been shown time and again that people take kindness for weakness and I bet these people will beg for other things not long from now because they were given the actual goods, with a verbal warning, but they got what they wanted out of the kind hearted neighbor. Their actions are sheer stupidity and this is unfortunately rampant. There appear to be no priorities, forethought or pride in that neighbor's home. Embarrassing!

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      bethperryposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Express10, my first reaction is to think that way. But I'm a big softie at times and know my friend worries about the neighbor's kids. From what I hear the neighbor and her husband tend to spend a lot on popular causes.

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      Express10posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Agreed. However, without taking care of their needs, they are showing a lack of planning and control. They need to put these things into practice & get a dose of pride so they don't go begging for things they should be taking care of themselves.

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      bethperryposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Agreed.

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   parrsterposted 10 years ago

   To give 'as we have prospered' is a noble thing, and no bounds can be set on the level of ones generosity on behalf of others. For some it is a very calculated thing, for others its whatever spare change they have in their purse, and for some its an emptying of all they have.
   
   The problem is not the giving, but rather to give and then expect another human being to supplement you. To give sacrificially is Christlike, however it only remains sacrificial if you are going to wear the consequence of it, rather than expect a neighbour to.
   
   The better thing to have done -something my wife does- is once a need is identified, go to your neighbours and tell them about it. Then everyone can give to the cause collectively (as they have prospered). The end result is more money is given, the charitable spirit is shared, no neighbour becomes burdened by another, and relationships are built.

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      bethperryposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      A noble way to live.

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   fpherj48posted 10 years ago

   Oh, the craziness and stupidity which abounds!   I'm not even sure this is a"parenting" issue, Beth.  Your friend's neighbor sounds almost mentally unstable.  This is an extremely bizarre situation.
   Let's see if I have this.....A neighbor showed up on your friend's doorstep, essentially to "beg," for feminine products for her daughter..(weird)  and some food items to feed HER family.  This was because SHE had contributed a total of $600.00 to a church and a Foundation toward charities to help "illegal immigrants" and victims of the Israeli-Hamas conflict.
   Let me be totally frank and up front.  Unless your friend had 100% proof of what this woman claimed she did with the "alleged" $600 donation....I would personally and quite simply, NOT BELIEVE HER.  Not a word of it.  Why $300 to each effort?  Why not a modest donation such as $50?
   
   It is not a stretch at all to suspect there is a drug, alcohol or gambling issue and that is really where she is throwing the money she SHOULD BE caring for her OWN children with.  Knowing this is irresponsible and shameful, of course she would fabricate a tale of "Good Samaritism."
   To be blunt.......I'm rather shocked your friend fell for this.  Her neighbor behaved in a very strange & suspect manner.   Just look at the big picture and use common sense. I'm sorry, but it;s almost laughable.
   
   Beth, dear friend, as smart as you are.....I can only imagine what you are thinking.  You are an impeccable writer and I couldn't help but notice you wrote "SANITY napkins" rather than sanitary.....a Freudian slip, perhaps?  LOL.   That neighbor could use a good dose of SANITY!!  In addition, the fact that she had the NERVE to react angrily to your friend is a sign of "guilt" of some sort.....believe me.
   BTW.....I gave all my money to the "Free Charles Mansion" efforts.  I'm starving.....can you send me some cash?   Keep the sanity napkins......it's much too late for me....for both the sanity and the napklins!!!!!!!   
   Yikes!  People are beyond STRANGE!
   Peace Beth!!

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      bethperryposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      omg, I did! I will go edit and spell correctly before Freud haunts me, lol! But I like your take on it; thank you for sharing!

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      fpherj48posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Beth..LOL!  Freudian slip or whatever,.you may have just created an incredibly new & appropriate name for those awful things!! I mean, we girls know all the digs sent our way about our attitude at that time of the month!  We plead INSANITY?  LOL

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      Rochelle Frankposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Indeed! Someone should have had some sanity, Even if she did contribute to good "causes"-- we  know that a lot of them, especially the 'popular' current ones-- are a scam. Donations rarely reach the ones in need.

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      bethperryposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Well gosh darnit, I'm not getting an "edit" option.

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      fpherj48posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I'm actually glad you couldn't change it! That typo in terms of the gist of your question..is going to go down in Hub History!!  LMAO. Stands to reason we can't edit questions.....that could screw up all the answers!!  You crack me up!!!    LOL

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    moonlakeposted 10 years ago

    It's like people that use to give to Jim Baker televangelist. My own mother did that and when we would tell her she shouldn’t give money she didn't have, she would always tell us how they needed her money. Well, we all know what happened to good old Jim Baker. I wonder how many poor old people he took to the cleaners.
    I believe in helping a neighbor and of course it's not her children's fault that she is so stupid. She could have sent just a small amount to help others if she really felt she needed to.
    Take care of your own first, help others after you know your children are safe and have what they need.

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       Old Poolmanposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       fpherj48 - I totally agree with your assessment. This sounds like a scam to support a drug, alcohol, or gambling problem.  Very few living humans are stupid enough to give all their money to charity and not care for their family.

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       fpherj48posted 10 years agoin reply to this

       Old Poolman...Really..I know! How stupid can some people be? This BS story makes no sense at all.  There used to be an old lady around here who went begging to neighbors.  Her dghter wound up calling all of us & told us she was a serious gambler!

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    old albionposted 10 years ago

    This person should consider this. The first priority of a parent is food on the table together with a roof overhead. Then pay your way in life. Love and look after your family to the very best of your ability. If there is anything left over and you wish to help others then go ahead, do the decent thing but one must prioritize at all times.
    Graham.

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       bethperryposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       Beautifully said!

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