Why is my sixteen year old so determined to annoy me?
Into boys, she wants to be able to go hang out at night, doesn't care about her school work, and has just had a bad attitude lately towards me!
It's a teen thing. I know, I know, that doesn't help, but it's the truth. Think back to your time as a teen and I'll bet you'll remember your parents saying the same thing about some of the things you did. Throughout time, even the most perfect teens have done things that annoyed their parents. It's a rough spot to get through, but keep one thing in mind - sooner or later your daughter is probably going to have teenaged kids that are going to annoy her. When that happens, you can be like my dad. Just sit back, shake your head, and remind her it's payback for all of the times she annoyed you.
Weren't you the same way?
Most teens want to be thought of as being "adults" even though they lack the maturity and life experience perspective to know just how little they know about the world.
Raging hormones in our teenage years causes us to be pre-occupied with sex and relationships rather than studying for school.
Most teenagers also believe they've found their "soul-mate" and they're going to spend the rest of their lives together. Their parents simply don't "understand" what (real love) is! LOL!
Teens and adults live in "parallel universes" and the teens don't want their parents in their business. This is a time where teens are prone to keeping secrets. In their minds they too are adults and should be able to resolve any issues that arise in their lives. They value the opinions of their peers over the wishes of their parents.
I'm amazed how easily parents forget what it was like to be a teenager. No matter how much "cooler" or "hipper" you are as a parent compared to your own mom and dad you will always be looked at as the "older generation" in the eyes of your child! Generally things revert back when they truly do become adults and have adult responsibilities. Suddenly they see the wisdom in you.
haha so true I guess my mom was always working and hardly was ever around so I had to make a lot of decisions on my own so I guess because I am always home and she tells me most things doesn't mean she is going to care what I think or take my advice!
its the teen years that we had been through. We called it stubborn teen, trying to go against parents' instruction. Just had to talk to her, not scold or warn her. Find the right time.
Are they determined to annoy you, or are they determined to get what they want....which annoys you? Your kid is trying to develop themselves and create a place in their own social structure that they see being built. Used to the social structure was predominately parental based, and as they get older, now there are friends in the equation too, and you are slowly losing influence. Which no doubt is frustrating.
It's times like this that instilling some understanding in the dangers of only seeking instant gratification will pay off.
I doubt she is purposefully trying to defy you or annoy you, I bet it is more like she is trying to find herself. If your way of doing things is the only thing she ever knew, she is going to want to do something different to see how well it works. I wrote a hub about making kids earn knowledge that talks about this.
My advice, be tougher than they are, and pick your battles, let them do things they will survive, even if they are mistakes....especially if they are mistakes. Sometimes you have to "do" to learn.
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