Should someone become a foster parent while they still have young children in the home?
Is there an ideal age for children to be before bringing foster children into the home?
To be fair to your children - and to make the process a little easier for yourself as well - I believe it is best if foster kids are at least a year or two younger than your youngest.
- Little kids follow the lead of older kids. It is helpful to have the older ones lead with a good example.
- You can remind your kids they are older and therefore should be able to resist any pressure from the younger foster child.
- Eliminates the complications of trying to explain to a young child why they shouldn't necessarily do what this older sibling tells them to. (And eliminates the risk of them saying, 'Mommy said I don't have to listen to you!')
- Reduces the potential for jealousy. (Both ways.) All kids are more inclined to 'share' with younger children.
- Nobody likes to lose their position as the oldest child, and the second-born is not likely to want to become the third-oldest. Causes all kinds of resentment and conflict.
- School dynamics (and even relationships with teachers) can change for your existing kids when a foster child joins the family.
- It will be much easier for you, and your children, and your foster child if you don't have to worry what is happening when your foster child and your littlest one/s are alone together.
- You know how important it is for a foster child to be accepted as part of the family. That is made so much easier if all your kids are mature enough to cope with the new addition - and feel 'powerful' enough to encourage, advise, reprimand etc when appropriate ... instead of just feeling as though they must let the foster child bully them or lead them because the new kid is older.
One of my most enjoyable and most challenging experiences as a foster mother was with a foster child who was 8 years older than my youngest. There was certainly a lot of jealousy towards the little 'cute' one, and I worked very hard to help them both cope. Had the age difference been less, it would have been more difficult for me to keep a watchful eye on exactly what was happening.
I am trusting you will understand what I mean when I say this, peeples, without taking it the wrong way .... It is really important that you don't sacrifice the welfare of any of your own children in trying to save someone else's.
For someone like me, taking a child into my home means opening my door and letting them feel welcome. I would never want to close the door on them again. With experience, I believe the best chance of success comes when your kids are older.
by waterbottle 2 years ago
i feel as if they need another chance, because most of the time it is not their fault for the position that they are in. so tell me how you all think about this topic... and also would You ever become a foster parent?
by igniter8503 9 months ago
Why don't people care for their kids anymore??In today's world we see more parents not taking care of their kids the right way either ditching them with other people to take care of or no caring for them in general why do you think this???Their is more kids growing up in foster care or with grand...
by yankeeintexas 7 years ago
Would you consider being a foster parent?
by Linda Bilyeu 6 years ago
Would you consider being a foster parent of an older child who is without a family? Have you done so?
by Devika Primić 10 months ago
Do you think older parents can manage the modern day parenting?Older couples have children at a much later stage in their lives and this can be frustrating. Raising young children in this modern day is a challenging effort.How do older couples manage parenting young children?For example: If a...
by Stacy Harris 6 years ago
Can you report families to the state to have kids put in foster care for negative situations?I know a family where both parents are fighting hard... won't get into too many details. Yet, I feel that one parent is being withheld from the children and the other parent is bad mouthing the other parent...
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