Have you ever lost a parent? If so, how did they pass? How did you deal with gri

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  1. profile image59
    jenerallyspeakingposted 3 years ago

    Have you ever lost a parent? If so, how did they pass? How did you deal with grief/your loss?

    My father passed away on February 12, 2015 after a courageous fight with ALS. I am 25 years old and my mother, brother, and I are trying to sift through what a new 'normal' life looks like in the midst of our sadness and grief over losing a husband and father. I am looking for any advice on how to cope with sadness and how life can begin again, especially relating to my mom who lost her best friend.

    https://usercontent2.hubstatic.com/12229201_f260.jpg

  2. dandelionweeds profile image76
    dandelionweedsposted 3 years ago

    Yes, well for me I cried a lot when I was alone, even driving. I wrote in a journal too.I also wrote poetry. I talked to some people when I was ready to. I found that allowing myself to grieve was helpful.

  3. liesl5858 profile image89
    liesl5858posted 3 years ago

    I am sorry to hear about your loss. It is not easy to get on in life after you lost someone you love and care about but one day, you will manage to carry on and so with your brother and mother. Best advice I can say is to keep yourself busy but allow yourself to go thru the grieving process if you can. Things or life won't be the same again but we have to carry on.

    I lost my mother thru suicide years ago but now and again she comes to mind. It was not the easy thing I ever had to deal with but because I was busy, I never had the time to grieve properly but in a way that was better. It is worse as well because it was sudden death, not expected at all. I missed her so much and because I also had other plans that I had to put aside, it was really bad. I wrote a hub about it, if you want to have a read you are welcome.

  4. Diana Lee profile image83
    Diana Leeposted 3 years ago

    So sorry for your loss......

    I've lost both parents, my grandparents, a brother, aunts, uncles, my best friend and most recently my husband.  I can tell you everyone deals differently with grief.  I really don't think there is any set way of dealing with it.

    What works for me may not work for you.  I found writing about it helps me. It's like putting it in a resting spot that can easily be looked at whenever I want to, but I can keep it there on paper rather then constantly having it swimming around in my already crowded mind. A back burner of your memory for sad and unbearable events seem less haunting if you take time to write it down while it is still fresh on your mind. Memories tend to vanish things that are meaningful to us.

    I've written poetry and hubs about losing loved ones. Feel free to visit my pages.  I hope this has helped.

  5. Aime F profile image84
    Aime Fposted 3 years ago

    I'm sorry to hear about your loss.

    My dad passed away when I was 16. He had a heart attack, recovered, but then went into cardiac arrest during a routine angiogram. He needed a heart transplant but the machines keeping him alive caused some of his other organs to fail and there was just nothing they could do to save it all.

    The first few months were pretty surreal. I remember just sitting, thinking, slightly detached from everyone and everything, wondering how it was possible for the world to go on as though nothing had happened when I had just lost one of the most important things in my life.

    Lean on your family and let them lean on you. Looking back to the time shortly before my dad died and shortly after, everyone sort of pushed back their own pain at moments to comfort each other. I remember times when my mom put on a brave face for me because I was so devastated, and seeing that she could be okay made me feel better. There were other times I put on a brave face for her because she couldn't anymore, and I realized that I could be okay, too, even if I was just pretending.

    Remind yourself that it's okay to cry. It's okay to laugh and be happy, too. I remember laughing pretty hard about something a couple of days after he died and feeling guilty. Let whatever happiness you can find in. Let in the sadness, the grief, the anger, everything. Trying to ignore it or forcing yourself to feel a different way will just prolong the process.

    I always found writing to be a wonderful outlet. I would write about why I loved him, why I miss him, and why I will always miss him. I wrote about the experience of watching him die, right down to the gory details. Literally everything that came to my mind regarding my dad, I wrote down when I had the chance. It was sort of my way of talking about it.

    My mom joined some sort of support group online for other people who had lost their spouses. I know it helped her immensely. I'm not sure if that's something your mom would be interested in - mine definitely wasn't the "online friends" type of person before but I know she found a great deal of comfort speaking to people who had experienced the same loss.

    Know that eventually things will feel normal, because they have to. It will be a different normal, but you'll learn it. For now, focus on grieving and take things day by day.

    I hope you and your family can find some peace in this very difficult time.

  6. Venus Rivera profile image74
    Venus Riveraposted 3 years ago

    I understand your pain and my prayers and thoughts goes out to you and your family. My father passed away June 03, 2011 and he was fighting a hard fight with lung cancer. When he left us- I cried for a couple of months straight and every little memory of him came to mind, I would cried knowing that I won't get another chance to hear his voice or see his face. My advice to you is pray for strength and healing of your heart and your families heart. If you're seeking for comfort you'll find it in a everyday prayer that's how I overcame my sadness.
    Losing a family member is heartbreaking feeling and can cause deep depression so be willing to fight for that "God giving strength" that was placed inside of you.
    I hope you and your loved ones find comfort.

  7. Joe Fiduccia profile image61
    Joe Fiducciaposted 3 years ago

    i know there is nothing anyone can say to help ease the pain of losing your father.  My wife's mom also died of ALS in her 50s, and to this day she still thinks about her often.

    In the end, I believe it never really gets better.  BUT, we also find a way to cope with the pain and somehow do the best we can to get through each day...remembering our history and the moments we shared with loved ones.

    And it helps just a little, perhaps you can take comfort in the fact that one day you will him again.  Just not yet.  smile  Hang in there!  -Joe

  8. monia saad profile image74
    monia saadposted 3 years ago

    Sorry to lose your father. I've been through this experience before. You'll be downright difficult times. But for how long? The deal must be more realistic. Life will go on.We must always strive to achieve what he had dreamed of your father. You must be a beautiful anniversary, which left her father in life. We also must complete our lives as we dream of. In the end, the days that sponsor heals grief

 
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