How do you discuss hurt feelings in a positive non-confronting way?

  1. beyoulou profile image60
    beyoulouposted 3 years ago

    How do you discuss hurt feelings in a positive non-confronting way?

    my 4 siblings are god parents to my children and at least one other niece or nephew. I have never been asked. my sister is aware of this and yet she hasn't asked me to be a god mum to her 3rd child (2 of my sisters are god mum to my youngest daughter!). I understand that with large families someone is going to miss out, but I have missed out too many times and I cant help feeling upset and disappointed. unsure of how to deal with this situation. open to suggestions TIA

  2. Cerulean Crayon profile image67
    Cerulean Crayonposted 3 years ago

    I always am confused by my immediate family. I must be an alien.

    In case you would like to think about your position before talking, here are some possible weak, cowardly reasons they would withhold said honor.
    Jealousy of you (in any area. Can be a conspiracy)
    Distrust of you (in Godmother Skills)
    Unburied hatchet ( are upset and getting back at you).

    If you think one of the above, or something you thought of, may be the reason behind what's happening, you can communicate with the sibling you have the closest, most continual rapport with.

    To make yourself most comfortable, resolve the matter with yourself first. If you are never chosen to be a Godmother by your sibs it will not be your problem. They will simply miss out. And you will survive it to bless all of them many times.

    Approach the communication itself in a very forthright manner, such as, "........yes, tea on Saturday was jolly good. I was wondering something. It's been on my mind for a while, and is not a biggie. Am I, in this lifetime, to experience the joy of being Godmum to someone in our family? Seems there's been a shortage of opportunity in that."

    If you are not sad, or crying, or angry, the sib will more than likely take it well. And if there is a reason, the sib may say so.

    If, however, you believe it is your right to be a Godmother of a sib's child, there will commence a fight over rights. And that's nothing but unpleasant.

    I hope it's been strictly oversight, and they're holding out for the "next, best baby" to be the one you get to honor.

    Family's a mess that few can conquer. But we try!

    1. beyoulou profile image60
      beyoulouposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      Thankyou for your response. I can only speculate about the reason why, I feel that I have been supportive and a shoulder to cry on in recent times. I hope it is an oversight. Family are indeed strange creatures.

 
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