How would go about persuading a friend to stop physically disciplining/smacking

1. 74

   Esther Strongposted 9 years ago

   How would go about persuading a friend to stop physically disciplining/smacking their own children.
   
   Children are aged 7 - 9.  Mum is a hard working single parent.

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2. 72

   Aime Fposted 9 years ago

   This is tough because I'm strongly against physical discipline, but I'm also strongly against telling someone how to parent unless their kid is in danger.
   
   So since you've specified that she's a friend, and a hard working single mom, I'm under the impression that you don't think her kids are in danger but that you (understandably) disagree with this method of discipline. I think in this situation I wouldn't say anything.
   
   If it was someone you knew that smacked their kids out of rage or with objects, then absolutely I would step in. But I feel like smacking a child with a belt out of anger and spanking a child as a method of perceived discipline are two different things. I may not agree with either but if she's otherwise a good parent then I think I would let her make her own decisions.

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   1. 74

      Esther Strongposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks Aime - she has refrained from smacking for a couple of years but recently seems more frazzled and when the kids act out she has said she is going to start smacking them again.  I think it's like taking a step backward.

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3. 69

   lisavollrathposted 9 years ago

   Butting into your friend's parenting style is a good way to lose that friend. Unless the kids are being abused, stay out of it.

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   1. 74

      Esther Strongposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I definitely don't want to lose her friendship but want to discourage her from going back to that form of discipline.  Based on what you say perhaps my best bet is try and help her out with the kids more often so that she gets a break.

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4. 84

   peachpurpleposted 9 years ago

   Yeah tough especially when mom is a divorcee, she  is damn stubborn, I pity the kid, he was beaten and punished by kneeling in front of the altar for the whole day without food. That was my friend. Unless, get someone whom she can trust to talk to her.

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   1. 74

      Esther Strongposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Hopefully she trusts that I have their best interests at heart.  Thanks peachy

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5. 51

   Bluemoongoddess1posted 9 years ago

   I think it depends on how close you are with your friend and how much you think her treatment of them is out of line. A casual acquaintance, friend of a friend or someone you've known only briefly, I wouldn't say anything to her unless you see physical harm to the children. If she is a close friend, someone you can confide in and does confide in you, then go with your instincts on this one. If you think she would hear what you say and accept it as coming from someone who cares about her and her kids, then you might try to talk to her. I usually prefer to stay out of other people's business unless I feel that what their doing is wrong or destructive.

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