To be a good parent Qualified

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   Hongliang Zhangposted 14 years ago

   1, the children present, parents do not quarrel;
           2, for each child who should be given the same love;
           3, among parents, humility and mutual understanding;
           4, any time, parents are their children not to lie;
           5, between parents and children to maintain intimate relations;
           6, the child's friends, when our guest, the parents would like to welcome;
           7 questions for children, parents should try to be answered;
           8, in front of the child to friends, parents do not speak the child's fault;
           9, observe and praise the child's strengths, not too much emphasis on the child's shortcomings;
           10, for the child's love should be stable, should not always angry.
   More than 10 requirement that children model their parents take the lead role from the requirements, but also for parents with children on the ways and means of education requirements.
   
   1, and strive to improve their own quality, until the example of the role of
           Parents as the child's first teacher, to serve as role models. As the old saying Tao: Its body is there to make the trip; the body straight, though order refused. Parent behavior is not correct, you can not exercise the power of education. The role of parents Shibiao closely linked with itself. Some say: the quality of the parents - of knowledge, learning, integrity, accomplishment, talent, like volcanic magma beneath, accumulate the more solid, the more fullness, the stronger explosive force children to blossom. Parents here mainly refers to the quality of the ideological and moral qualities of the good or bad, high and low levels of cultural and scientific knowledge, and mental health of the quality and ability to educate their children the strength, etc.. To improve the quality of the parents themselves, should start with the following aspects:
           (A) efforts to improve the ideological and moral standards
           Children from small to large, the parents every move, his words and deeds of their character, moral development of the formation of hair plays a subtle role. Parents are first asked his noble character, ideals, and have a positive outlook on life; of the country, the people, the cause of a high degree of responsibility; in society, law-abiding, to comply with the community; ethics emphasize civility, politeness, style upright, honest, distinguish between mind forthright, selfless, helpful and so on. Preschool early childhood is a person's personality, moral character began to take shape in an important period, this period of brain activity of young children have great plasticity. As early childhood curiosity, a good imitation, and ask questions, curiosity, easy to be influenced by external factors, the exemplary role of parents is very important at this time. The external actions that the parents are like children to learn. People often say: Look, the child and his parents, a kind of walking, we can see the behavior of the parents are young children to learn from. Jing-Xiu parents had old-timers, said: "Children's eyes are cameras, tape recorders mind is that your words and deeds are inscribed in their hearts, we should set a good example ah! Power of examples is endless, and it has a strong persuasive power and appeal. parents, gentle and generous behavior discourse, children will also be the case, the parents vulgar manners conversation will inevitably have a negative effect on their children, in a kindergarten, there had been such a thing, a small The little girl likes to cuddle the boy, and pro-them, and teachers to correct its behavior, the little boy did not understand looking teacher, said: "This is who my father is also a pro-mother. "Small boy behavior can be seen that the behavior of their parents regardless of settings, in the presence of the child's face too close to the result has been to follow the child to imitate. Another example is parents to consciously abide by social morality, safeguard public health, eating fruit will be put peel into the health kits, the children will develop the habit of maintaining social health. while some adults was sloppy, spitting throwing dirt, the children also do so.
           (B) efforts to improve the cultural and scientific knowledge
           As the saying goes: teachers who give students a glass of water he must have a bucket of water. Parents can not be used for regular teachers with the professional requirement, because the parents life experiences different and have different cultural level, and even falls far short of demand that parents have a certain level of literacy, all kindergarten teachers have the ability to I am afraid that is very realistic. But in today's age, culture, science and technology is developed, knowledge constantly updated, even highly educated people, if not continue to learn, will not keep up with demands of the times, the knowledge also exists the problem of aging. Children very strong thirst for knowledge, they are often the adults some strange questions asked for a satisfactory answer, so that its prestige and virtually reduced the minds of the children. Parents should be good at learning to become a mentor children to seek knowledge, not only made a good example for the children, but also to protect the child's enthusiasm to learn, but also to improve ourselves. Cultural quality of the parents of first-quality education for their children has a significant impact. Many criminal cases, reflecting the lack of legal literacy is often accompanied by ignorance, accompanied by illiteracy. According to one pairs of 5350 survey showed that juvenile criminal offenders, the mother only primary school education accounted for 82.9%, mothers with higher education and only 4.5%. The China University of Technology a session of the Junior class, 70% of students come from families of intellectuals.
           (C) To have good psychological quality
           Mental quality mainly refers to the person's personality, emotions, will, interest and other personality characteristics, as well as interpersonal aspects of self-control and so on. For young children, the parents are the most close to him, the parents of the emotions for the child is highly infectious. If parents laugh, the child will be happy to line dancing; parents, angry, scared frightened child will know what to do, even crying, parents and the mood of the children has a direct role in the formation of character.
           Some of the child character, perverse, and some gentle personality, some character, impatient, and some more sensitive character, and so on, are all associated with their parents have a role in mood. You have to have outgoing personality, good with people, compassionate, amiable, it is necessary to maintain a normal and stable mood right kids to develop a healthy feeling is very good, and in this spirit that grew up in an atmosphere of Children are generally in order to chaos at the psychological state of shock have occurred in the right side of the accident, steady calm, strong adaptability.
           Parents in the implementation of family education, but also with the psychological quality of patient and meticulous. Abroad have a saying: everyone can put their children to develop a "two love-type" giant (Edison and Einstein), depends on your patience, confidence and determination. Inventor Thomas Edison has more than a thousand have been viewed by teachers as an idiot shut out of the 20th century's greatest scientists, Albert Einstein for "mentally retarded" 12-year-old was ordered to drop out school, their parents do not because of children " stupid "and lose confidence in education, but with great patience to develop children's intelligence, for the" second love "towards a brilliant career lay a solid foundation. Real life often see that some parents in educating their children, lack is the patience and meticulous, and they often can not be adults, because children understand the intent denounced and cursed their children, so-called "idiot", "stupid" has never stopped, child's self-esteem psychology and rebellious way this kind of education is generated.
           Parents should also have a strong character, courage to face difficulties in tough cases, and good brains to solve, not up to not give up, which is the formation of a strong children's personality, the courage to overcome setbacks, psychology is very necessary.
           In addition, parents should also have a variety of interests, here is interested in talking about the parents during his free time to participate in a variety of beneficial physical and mental health of the United States and other sports activities, such as piano, chess, calligraphy and painting, sports, according to like, etc., so that family life, colorful and full of vitality, not only conducive to mental health, but also conducive to good health, but also help to cultivate children's positive outlook on life and communication, interpersonal communication ability.
   2, conscientiously study and family education and knowledge, improve the level of the education of children
           Family Education is a comprehensive multi-disciplinary education, which involves a wide range, including psychology, pedagogy, ethics, aesthetics, hygiene, nutrition, and so forth. Gorky said that educating the children is not a very easy thing to do, "teach them to be good at, which is a big country, and this requires skills and profound knowledge of life." For the parents and does not require that everyone as an education expert, but need parents to understand child growth and development in the law, often to make some things against the law of education to produce adverse effects, such as pre-school children, between the ages of 3-7 curious, often filled with a naive fantasy, often to parents to make some strange question, or even to make some incredible acts in order that adults, some with a destructive acts often, adults must not rashly accused is "nonsense," "mischief-making", and even beats a child, should see which is likely to nurture the seeds of a creative personality and give the right to encourage, guide, so wait for a reasonable development. For example, some children like to home video games or recorder demolition bad reason is due to children due to curiosity to understand the characteristics of the parents the right to guide children's curiosity, stimulate curiosity, foster children from childhood quest for knowledge interest, lay the foundation for the future love of learning. However, some parents do not understand the child because of the psychological, often taken to reprimand the child maltreatment and practices to which they kill the seeds of creative personality. I remember a celebrity once said: in your fight condemning in no Edison, there is no Einstein, no Wit ... ... .... Another example is the development of early childhood is the best time spoken, if parents pay attention during this period to cultivate children's speaking ability will be the most sensible approach, but some parents have forced children to write Chinese characters, doing arithmetic, not only would not achieve the aims of education, contrary, it will dampen the enthusiasm of a child to learn to make it into the formal learning of school-age learning disgusted when emotions can be described as haste makes waste. Its negative impact is difficult to eliminate. Parents to fully understand their children's psychological, physiological characteristics, master personality, from reality, individualized. To this end parents have to be out of time to learn some knowledge of family education.
   
   3, updating the concept of talent, clear training objectives, so that comprehensive development of the child
   
   Many parents before the child's birth for him a brilliant design of the road, the focus of kindergarten, focusing on primary schools, key secondary schools, prestigious universities abroad Liuyang, until attained name and fame. After the birth of a child, especially in the early childhood, parents began to busy to go from a variety of classes, one occasion, he let children learn the piano, learning organ, one occasion, he let children learn to draw, one occasion, he letting children learn calligraphy ... ..., a number of parents regard their children as private property, their children to succeed, the family line, in order to achieve this goal, or material incentives, or sticks and education, so young children can look forward to his retirement as grandparents did like, and we can refuse to learn. Psychological studies have shown that modest expectation is that the healthy growth and normal development of children, and even tragic. Nanjing, a Xinghu workers were three sons alone could not back a kick Ti Si Tang virtues of their children; children inside to practice piano and the disabled in order to evade their fingers do occur from time to time, these lessons should feel ashamed parents food for thought. Parents should update the concept of talent.
   
     Fourth, create a good family atmosphere
           The so-called atmosphere, meaning the human environment in which atmosphere and mood, which is in a certain kind of environment for people in mutual influence, mutual restraint in the process of some sort caused by the psychological mood and atmosphere. Family-like atmosphere that is created in the environment, family members, mutual influence, mutual restraint in the process of the formation of the psychological mood and atmosphere, it includes: living environment, life style, lifestyle, hobbies, traditions and customs, ethics and acted, etc. . A good family atmosphere. Can protect a child character, lively, cheerful, generous, diligent, honest, humble, gregarious, seeking knowledge, curiosity, love of labor, clean, punctual and trustworthy, etc.; poor family atmosphere, make the child timid, suspicious, selfish, jealous, lonely, lazy , laissez-faire, non-Business Planning, vulgar language, because children in adapting to the process of family environment, often with the parents for the most intimate, the most direct imitation of the object, forming their own mind-set and personality characteristics, family atmosphere of the good or bad for children psychological, behavioral health an important related factors. Parents should be in the following areas for children to create a good family atmosphere:
           (A) a good living environment
           The family is the basic human fixed place to live, people's life most of the time spent in the family. The survival of children is inseparable from the family, First, parents should be for children to create a good living environment. Although each family due to the economic level, housing conditions are different, the layout of the standard can not insist, but the room clean and tidy layout, colors harmonize elegance can still do it, so that children can live in a comfortable, quiet, warm family. Some families pay no attention to the environment layout, do not pay attention to sanitation and hygiene, home furnishings haphazard, dirt everywhere, giving a non-interference is a great sense of place, this environment is not conducive to the development of child physical and mental health. Some parents, despite the economic conditions are excellent, at home, very modern-style layout, parents forget that children should be a game of Heaven and Earth. Some parents say a very clean, spotless throughout, too many restrictions on children, which also allowed to play, that would take many to sit, so that the child of action very restricted, this is not desirable.
           (B) Good work schedules and living habits
           Families have to form a relatively fixed daily routine of life time, including rest, eating, entertainment, work, study and so on, each family member should conscientiously abide by the long run will lead to the formation of attitudes to time, for the future into the kindergartens, schools, community, conscientiously abide by the collective discipline, maintain social order, and pay attention to morality lay the foundation for the formation of good character. Although some families to develop a work schedule for the children, parents and put her as an outsider, and some even through the night mahjong playing, drinking paddled boxing, and some video watching TV addiction forgot to normal routines, some intoxicated the Office of the sound of music so enjoyable, so very difficult to restrict children.
           Each member of the family should also note that health habits, such as hand-washing before meals and after, from time to time washed clothes, no spitting, throwing dirt, and keep clean, on time and clean the room.
           (C) the psychological atmosphere of harmony
           Parents should also be for children in the family to create a psychological atmosphere of harmony. Family members live in harmony, equal treatment, mutual care, mutual trust, mutual understanding, even if conflicts can be resolved smoothly. Studies have shown that: in a democratic and civilized family harmony and the children grow up, showing emotional stability, emotional, rich, delicate, bright and cheerful disposition, solidarity, there are characteristics of self-confidence. This is because the civilized family in order to give their children a sense of security so that exposure to feel at home in the warmth and happiness; second is to meet the child's sense of belonging in the family, the child can feel loved respected, but also learn how to love others, how to respect for others, thus enhancing self-esteem and confidence. When children encounter difficulties, setbacks and frustration, you can draw strength from the family, with guidance. Famous writer Lev. Tolstoy said: "The harmony between husband and wife is the successful education of children first and foremost condition." Some families couples in conflict, mutual accusations, often arguing fighting, very harmful to children's physical and mental health. There is a juvenile who said: "My childhood was his parents quarreling, fighting amid the howling winter days spent shivering." Urumqi City, the juvenile justice juvenile offenders had made a survey and found that 40% of the children was due to No one discipline parents divorced and embarked on a crime.
           Xinjiang parties attended the national focus on education and scientific research scientific research, "divorced families and children (3-12 years) psychological characteristics of study" showed that children from divorced families generally have the following characteristics: (1) crying; (2) bohemian, everywhere run around; (3) too timid and anxiety; (4) cold, indifferent, (5), depression, fast
           Le-up; (6), pessimism, feeling inferior; (7) lonely, often trance; (8) easy irritability anger; (9〕 fear of certain animals, situations and people; (10) stubborn, boast, and has unsociable , withdrawal, apathy, tension, preparedness, like lying to and deceiving or even hostility to other people unsuited to the psychological and social quality and psychological barriers. All these survey results show that family harmony and healthy development for children is a very important aspect. To this end Parents should be responsible for the child's life, the family should have a high sense of responsibility, so that children can live in a democratic atmosphere to grow, parents take their children as a family, key members of his or her character, we should treat each other equally, not to adults force our views on children, and children like to play, parents should find time to communicate with their children playing games, in the game on fostering children's independent personality, behavior of the child in time to give proper recognition and encouragement have made it clear that bad behavior must be reason to stop but we can not simply rude. This will be parents of a child as a grown-up friend, so that when the parents to educate their children more effective.
           5, actively cooperate with the community, the collective right to educate their children
           Family education, collective (nurseries and kindergartens, schools) education, social education is a modern three major components of national education. In this three-part being, family education is the foundation, regardless of time, educational content, educational methods have the advantage over other two kinds of education can not substitute. But this will not affect the consistency of their educational objectives, namely, bring up children to become ideals, morality, culture, and discipline all-round development of the builders of the 21st century, so the three aspects of education to mutual cooperation and coordination. With the development of China's educational undertakings, mostly in pre-school child care, child garden complete education, this type of education from a collective way, the content and form, than the formal family education. Here teachers will have a plan, step by step specializing in training children in habits of behavior, the quality of self-cultivation, develop their creative ability, interest in learning and so on. After early childhood teachers, professional training, they have a richer education, conservation knowledge and level of education than their parents to better understand children's psychological and physiological characteristics of the laws of development. Therefore, parents should take the initiative to get in touch with the nurseries and kindergartens, work closely with kindergarten teachers, nurses, children's education in the common good is necessary, first of all the parents to understand the nurseries and kindergartens in education, protocols, educational programs and related regulations, with the nurseries and kindergartens and teachers do a good job their children's education, so that the aims of education, education to achieve the same pace. Second, we should actively encourage children to participate in group activities, educational activities the required goods, to cultivate children's collective spirit and social interaction capabilities. Finally, should actively participate in outreach activities to their homes, such as home contact the Open Day will enable parents to understand the regular one-day nurseries and kindergartens, parents and schools to enable parents through lectures, teaching the child experience-sharing sessions, expert advice and other activities to learn science and child-rearing knowledge and methods, parents must not be an excuse busy with work, time is pressing and give up this opportunity.
           In short, how to do a competent parent is the need to treat seriously the things parents, parents who engage in cause is the cause of shaping the human soul, and we continued success for this cause in the exploration, in practice, when your child to be useful only, can say: I have to do to the division of duties to man.

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   goldenpathposted 14 years ago

   I apologize.  I did not read your entire post.  I would suggest putting this wonderful and useful information in the form of a hub.  Of the thoughts I scanned through I agree, whole-heartedly, with you ideas on the responsibilities of the parents to the children.
   
   Great thoughts!  Put them in hub form for the world community to benefit from.

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3. 57

   Dame Scribeposted 14 years ago

   Forums aren't for Hubs

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      skgraoposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Can you guarantee that if what you say is done your kids will listen to what you say  when they grow up.
      Do you take it for granted they will not be influenced by friends in one way or other.

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