Do you believe that parents of single children infantilize their children & EXTREMELY involved
their lives & parents of large families force their children to be ADULTS & are non-involved in their lives?There was an answer given which stated that parents of single children are overprotective, even micromanaging their children, depriving them of normal childhood & adolescent lives which is a false statement. There are more parents of large families who deprive their children, esp. oldest children of normal childhood & adolescent lives because the latter have to assume ADULT responsibilities in childhood such as working part-time to supplement income & parenting younger siblings.
I can only answer based on my own experience: I was an only child.
My father, who was also an only child, pretty much left me alone, and let me do my own thing. He rarely offered an opinion about anything unless I asked for it.
My mother, who was one of five children who survived to adulthood, micromanaged the heck out of my life. Even when I managed to break free of living with my family, and go to grad school, she continued to use emotional blackmail to get me to do everything her way. I finally cut her out of my life when I was 40, because the demands and expectations were too great, and the return was non-existent.
I'm not sure my experience is the norm when it comes to being an only child. I do seem to have made quite a number of friends whose mothers were equally controlling, to the point that they have been evicted from my friends' lives. This doesn't seem to be confined to friends who are only children, but it does seem to involve mothers who were raised during the Great Depression. Maybe lack of control in their early years made them need control as adults?
I think that parents of single children tend to care more for their children because they see them as more precious and rare since they only have one child. Parents of more than one child probably don't see them as something to be cherished as much. You understand what I mean they probably find children harder to come by. I think that parents of large families are more unorganized as far as they have alot on them taking care of alot of kids. But I just think it depends on the kind of parenting like for example my half brother and sisters mom has 6 kids but growing up they had cell phones, money because their grandmother was rich, lots of different shoes and clothes and their mother kept them very involved in music and sports and other extracurricular activities, alot of friends and were all around normal happy children, while I lived with my mom and stepdad who only had 3 children and the rules were very strict we weren't allowed to go out with friends, wear shorts to school, have a phone or even cereal with marshmallows in them. They thought those things were too grown.
I would like to hear what you think on this.
It isn't that parents of single children infantilize them. They see their children as precious. They plan to have single children to give them the best opportunities whether it is educational, cultural, &/or socioeconomic. They want their children to be exposed to the best.
A few parents may be overprotective because they want to shield their children from negative elements which may disrepair their children. Parents of single children are involved in their lives because they CAN be. They have the emotional & psychological resources to give their children the individualized attention the latter need to thrive. It is common in single child families that there are 1:1 relationships & discussions between parents & children as there are no sibling interference nor competition.
Parents of large families are seldom, if ever, involved in their children's lives. For the most or all part, children in large families raise themselves &/or each other. Parents of large families let children to their own devices. The rule of large families is akin to the law of the jungle-children either swim or fall through the cracks.
Children who can successfully navigate their lives thrive while those who CAN'T oftentimes fall through the proverbial cracks. Parents of large families AREN'T there for their children- it is EACH child for himself/herself or each other. Parent-child relationships are next to non-existent in large families.
Parents of large families don't believe in communication w/their children, they leave that to the siblings. They DON'T view their children as precious since they have so many of them. Children of large families are de-individualized & viewed & treated as part of a group. Groupthink is common in the large family environment.
Since parents are uninvolved in their children's lives, they are pushed to be adults early. Children in large families assume adult responsibilities in childhood, from working part-time & weekend jobs to supplement family income to raising themselves & other siblings. Childhood is its strictest definition does not exist for children in large families. One can say that childhood is a luxury for children in large families, perhaps w/the exception of the youngest.
It depends on the parents. Those that love the cuteness and baby phase tend to baby the child well past that age, and would be better off adding a pet. Those that hate the baby stage and treat the child like a little adult do not make that mistake, but there are tradeoffs.
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