4 year old son has behavior issues
My don wont sleep a full night, can be distructive, refuses to eat alot of foods, any recommendations on how I can calm and relax him? As he is a ball of energy most of the time
I see discipline as an overall approach. Set clear boundaries and stick to them. Communicate the consequences as well. Talk to him respectfully, let him know what you are doing and why you are doing it. Keep your own control (no shouting, hitting, etc.), and be persistent using positive/negative reinforcement for his behavior.
Let him get lots of exercise and give him a lot of activities to do, just focused when indoors (one at a time). Play with him a lot. Most of the time when kids act up it's because they need an outlet or they need your attention.
For bedtime, establish a routine and put him to bed. If he gets up keep putting him to bed. Don't run in every time he cries/complains just check on him occasionally to let him know it's time for sleep. Don't let kids bait you into arguing, you're the boss.
As for food, let him sit with you at dinner and offer a variety. Invite him to try things. Praise him if he does (whether he likes it or not). If he doesn't want something, don't make a big deal of it. If he gets attention for trying things/eating but none for not eating something, he'll become more cooperative in time. His tastes may change.
Sounds like a pretty normal 4 year old to me! They're not behavioural issues, they're just learning. Four is a fun age, they get some real independence and autonomy and they're excited about life. Of course they don't want to go to bed.
For us, not having a super strict bedtime helps. She falls asleep within the same hour/hour and a half every night but I'm not a stickler for going to bed right at 8 or whatever. Around the same time every night I'll take her to her room and lay down with her and we talk about her day. It helps her wind down and she enjoys getting into bed. I lay with her until she falls asleep. Always have. It's not for everyone, but having a kid who falls asleep on their own has never been much of a priority for me. I figure in no time she'll be kicking me out of her room so I'll enjoy it while it lasts. With me laying down with her bedtime is always peaceful.
My daughter also goes through phases with food. One day she's obsessed with yogurt and the next day she won't touch it. I always give her two or three options and if she says no to all of them I say "you must not be that hungry then!" and she usually whines a bit but picks one of the options I gave. I like giving her some choice in the matter but I'm not going to sit there all day trying to figure out what she wants.
As for the energy, well, that just comes with having kids! I take my daughter to the park every day to burn off some of it. She also does soccer and yoga twice a week. She's much easier to calm down and get to sleep if she's had a busy day with park/activities, so it's really just about giving them outlets.
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