I'm amazed at what I keep seeing! There are diaper babies running around unattended everywhere, they show up in my yard. I live in a townhouse complex so it's not literally "my" yard. But still, does anyone here let their two year olds wander unsupervised all over outside? I've seen several, some suddenly show up in my house! They open the door and come in to play - I've taken them back outside to try to return a child to a frantic parent but guess what? There never IS a parent! These babies have had to cross a parking lot to get here too.
Sometimes I see a baby who actually is supervised - by a five or six year old sibling! Do people really consider this normal, fine, and okay? It's NOT.
911 would be my first call, social services my second call.
unbelievable how some will do
I would agree on this one. I wouldn't take the child outside again, I guess I'd keep it at my house call 911 and have THEM deal with it.
I agree it is NOT okay. I'd be making a call to 911.
I was left to wander at 4, but what you are saying is shocking and illegal. x
Where I live, hardly any children are out playing alone. There have been too many kidnappings, accidents, etc. It is so sad that kids can't even walk home from school anymore.
i wrote a hubpage on "Keeping Children Safe" after hearing of another child kidnapped and murdered on the way home from school.
Baby... I'm gonna go out on a limb and say NEVER... kids maybe, but a baby?
My child is very naughty and she is 1.2 years old. I guess, I will never leave her alone to play until she is six years.
It's a good thing they come to your house and not a creep's.
I agree with Jane, this is becoming a common thing I saw a couple going out for their shopping and leaving a 9 year old to babysit his 5 year old sister, are these people for real ?
And people wonder why there are so many missing children in this world Some people aren't fit to be parents.
There's a lot of crazy parents out there who let their kids wander around and then they cry when something happens to them, that old saying "kids should be seen and not heard" comes to mind!
I live in the middle of nowhere, 1800 ft off of an extremely minor road, giant windows looking out on the giant field, and I cannot let my 3yo out with her 6 and 9yo siblings unless I am outside with them. It makes my mommy brain too nervous. There is no cure for stupid.
You know the worst thing, you see a little kid wandering about and you just walk by because to do different these days cud land you in trouble. In the UK a few years ago a kid called Jamie Bulger was abducted from a shopping mall by 2 ten year old boys and beaten to death.
When the Police investigated the case at least 6 people saw a distressed kid crying but didn't get involved for obvious reasons. I worry about the world we live in at times, I really do.
I daren't even get started on what I think to parents that allow small children to wander like stray dogs. Bceause that's what it amounts to.
And let's not call them parents. The fact that their kids are wandering the streets is not a sign of good parenting. And no excuses either. I was sick of hearing them in my previous job. There are none.
In this day and age the best time to let them go out and play by themselves is when they go to college
While given the described circumstances I personally would not do it, don't see any reason for social services call, let alone 911. Do you really think those kids will be better off in a foster home?
It is hard to say if they would be better off in foster care because we're not privy to the condition of the child; is he dirty, does he appear undernourished? Some foster parents are kind and loving, I was one of them. I ached when I had to return the child to parents who were unfit. I wasn't able to go through it again, selfishly yes.
Calling 911 I agree would not be a good idea, but you could call the police if you legitimately don't know where the child belongs. It could be a much needed wake-up call. And calling social services could be another wake-up call, its not like the movies where they're going to rush in and whisk the child away. They investigate and try to offer help, they don't want to have to remove the child if unnecessary, they have too many kids to deal with as it is. Ignoring it, however, isn't the right or compassionate thing to do.
Personally, I would try to get the kid to take me to mommy/daddy and proceed to give whichever one a calm, hopefully, talking to. If they get uppity and say its none of your business simply explain that it is because if something bad was to happen to that child you would feel responsible if you didn't do something.
Just my opinion.
I still wont even let my five year old out to play by himself. I insist to be outside with him, no matter how much he begs and pleads. And we live in the country! My two year old - FORGET IT!!! He's not even allowed to go off the porch without me being at the very most two feet behind him at all times. I can't believe some parents. They just let their children run free like there isn't anything bad that could happen to them.
makes you wonder what those parents are doing that is more important than looking after their little ones!
As long as the child is not a rock-eater (I had one of those) I've let them out in the fenced in back yard without me at 18-20 months. I leave the door open so they come in when they want and check on them every few minutes. The dog lets me know if anyone is with in 100 yards of the house, especially when any of the children are out doors -- adult present or not.
As to visiting the neighbors... they are not allowed to do that until they are much older, and then only ones that we know quite well.
As a mother of FOUR toddlers, I must point out how quickly little ones can escape out of the house and make it down the street. I am a model mother, but even I have to use the bathroom on occasion. And my children have taken that occasion to get out of my locked front door, and all the way across the yard to the street. I come out of the bathroom and have to run after them. Usually they head in one direction, towards our neighborhood Dairy Queen. But once, my two year old headed around the other corner. I frantically searched all up and down the street in her usual direction (remember, she's never made it out of the yard before), for several minutes before giving up and calling 911, certain she had been abducted. I'm crying on my doorstep waiting for the police when a neighbor from the side street showed up with her, yelling and cursing at me for being a neglectful mother. I felt horrible, but not guilty. BMs are a part of life, and reality is that shit happens. I can't corral four kids into the bathroom with me EVERY time--they usually follow on their own, I guess they like the show. Anyway, since then, I have installed a lock on the top of my doors. Now visitors criticize that I am putting my children at risk in case of a fire because they can't reach those locks! I accept the fact that I can never please everyone. My children's safety comes first. And I could care less about the opinions of my neighbors. But personal experience has taught me to not be so quick to judge. If the same baby is frequenting your home, more than likely it is due to neglect. But don't jump to conclusions. There may be a mother close by doing her very best, who would greatly benefit from some of your wise advice, requested or not.
OH MY GOSH!!!!! And I thought 3 under the age of 5 was hard....you are my newest hero!!!fanatsic attitude, and yay for a hapy ending. I could write a book about the times my youngest slipped off and I thought the worst. It is such an awful feeling.And peopel aer so judgemntal. In the store if your child cries, half the people think..cant that woman control her children? but if you say or do ANYTHING you risk the other half screaming ABUSE and calling the state!!! go look up the babies on a leash thread...it sums it up pretty good...
I totally agree. I have twin boys that are four, and they can be a bit of a handful if they want to.
I had a state trooper at my front door a few weeks back, cuz my kids threw A tomatoe in the road...
and they are girls...I cant imagine twin boys....
A state trooper for a tomatoe in the road? I'd be in real trouble over there, and that's not even bringing the kids into it
kids got in trouble, by me, for being near the road..period..its a state road and a busy one at that...it was hard not letting them see how STUPID I felt the trooper was...he was quite the jerk and telling me I need to control my children. It was A CHERRY TOMATOE!!!!! And it never even made it past the shoulder....he happend to be driving by, when he saw it fly out of the trees, and stopped. He actaully yelled at my kids to pick it up...wich they did, and they got hell from me for that too..they are NOT to do anything a stranger tells them, I dont care WHO its...Man should have knoced on my door first. Who the hell did he think he was? Ordering my kids to pick something up, off the side of the road. A freaking CHERRY TOMATO??? come on...btw, I have been in trouble...
Oh my! Talk about having a pet peeve! This sure is one of mine. I don't know what I would do in your situation. Call the police? Take the child in till someone realizes it is missing? (You might get in trouble for that one!) I agree with you! Parents just don't seem to care anymore.
of course. But I am glad it happened, cuz they were being sneaky, and going close to the road wich tehy RAE NOT suppposed to do. They lost outside alone privliges for a while...and I am thankfull it was just a control freak jerk, and not some sicko who saw them.
Ive got to run here, in a second...have a great day!!
ps, I havent been in trouble in a long long time...Ive been good for at least...10 years now...
I think about 12yrs old, all things being correct. It certainly depends on the child. I ,for example, really didn't have very strong nuturing skills so I wasn't really considered the one in charge my sister whose a year younger was tasked with watching our little sister.
We didn't allow our son out on his own except in the backyard and only if we were home. If we ran to the store for milk, he wasn't even allowed to answer the door and we had emergency procedures in place, allways! All his activities away from home were supervised by us or adults we trusted until 16 when we allowed him to drive to practice then home again.
Yeah, such things could be a good lesson for kids, showing them that there are real limits to what they can do, and parents don't just pull those limits out of their ass - no matter how pretty this ass may look.
I live within the viewing area of Boston news; and when two- or three-year olds get out around here it often makes the news ("...found wandering in the street. The child remains with his mother while DSS investigates.")
When my kids were two and three we lived right near a pond, so there was absolutely no way we could allow the door locks to be such that a young child could work them.
On the other hand, when my son was seven and had his first real sleepwalking incident; he managed to get himself down the stairs, out the door, and down by our mailbox (at the street) at 1:00 a.m. before waking up and knocking on the front door in his pajamas. My husband and I were awake, sitting in the kitchen (at the back of the house), with a window fan on because it was Summer. I couldn't imagine who was knocking on the door; and when we discovered it was our son, I didn't know if he'd fallen out the window or what! The window was fine, so we can only assume he walked down the stairs and out the door.
I was horrified to think that could happen. Then again, though, there's a difference between a one-time incident and letting your two-year-old be out playing on a regular basis (or even letting that sleepwalking kind of thing happen again).
janddplus4, you're the kind of mother i was looking for with these babies, the frantic mom whose baby escaped. I've got four boys, a stepson, and I raised my two nieces for a while; I've got friends with several little ones, I know what littles do.
My problem is when nobody ever comes looking, and when I return a baby home, the parent says, "Oh, yes, he always does that," especially when they shut the door and leave the baby outside! This has happened, literally!
Still, I don't want to call social services because I don't know that they'd be better off in foster care. I've known a few foster parents and I wouldn't wish them on a baby. But I've also known one that should be allowed to adopt every neglected baby in the world.
I can't imagine letting my two year old wander off to play on his own! Might as well let him play in traffic...
I'm complained about that before. In my building this summer there were kids younger than two playing outside until 9pm with only their 8 or 9 year old older sisters to look after them. The parent's never seem to be around.
I have seen parents busy doing homework and reading with a calmer child, and just letting the more free spirited one run around. One time a parent actually got frustrated with me because I motioned their child back to be near their parent. It was almost as if they wanted to ignored the more adventurous one, so they could read with the quiet one.
I have seen parents busy doing homework and reading with a calmer child, and just letting the more free spirited one run around. One time a parent actually got frustrated with me because I motioned their child back to be near their parent. It was almost as if they wanted to ignore the more adventurous one, so they could read with the quiet one.
My now six year old snuck out in the middle of the night when he was just 3. He went to the local bar....crossing two streets to get there at 1 a.m. When the police brought him home he said he was going to get his haircut....the barber is two doors down from the bar. Thank God that the girl working the bar was a sweetheart and tried to get him to show her where he lived but he wouldn't go home for her. He showed the police right where he lived though. I was freaking out. This is a child that was never allowed outside alone in his life and he snuck out while I was sleeping in the middle of the night. Needless to say locks went on the top of all my doors the next day. It's not always a neglectful parent that has a child running loose. I personally still don't let my 4 or 6 year old outside alone unless they are in the fence and with my dog who barks at everyone who goes by the house. As far as going to another person's house....no way either. I don't like how my neighbors raise their kids...not happening. Thier kids come to my house and follow my rules or go home.
If I found a child running loose I would try to find the parents. If I couldn't find the parents I would call the police. It is always better than having them get hit by a car or abducted in my opinion.
The answer - you NEVER let a baby play outside alone without some kind of supervision. Even with supervison kids tend to wander off the minute you turn your back. Happened when my son was about three - almost gave me a heart attack!
Even now, he's 12 and my daughter is now 9, I am always at the window checking on them when they're outside playing. The world is alot different now that it was when I was their age. Parents didn't worry to much 30 years ago when their kids were outside -they didn't need to. Now - parents have to worry. Sad but true.
16 years old! After being totally neglected as a child, I became a super-vigilant mom. Particularly because two weeks before my daughter was born, the newborn daughter of one of our close friends was kidnapped from the hospital by a woman posing as a nurse. The child was found nine months later, alive and well, but it had a huge effect on me. I was terrified of my daughter being abducted or injured. I fought against it all during her childhood, knowing that she needed a measure of freedom, but I always knew where she was and who she was with.
When she was 16, I bought her first car (on the condition that she get a job), and gave her all the freedom she wanted. Because she knew how much her dad and I loved her, and that she could always count on our support, she handled her freedom well. One of her friends tried to make fun of her one time, asking why we always wanted to know where she was. She said, "Because they love me," and I knew I had done the right thing. Now she's 26 years old, strong, independent, and is graduating from college in two weeks, with 10 years of work experience. Our job is to protect our children until they're old enough to protect themselves. To do otherwise is selfish, lazy, and stupid.
In this world at this time-I would say that a child can go out unsupervised when they are 17 years old-maybe 16...But that is probably somewhat unrealistic.
Probably a more realistic answer would be-I would never leave a child home alone, or outside to play freely until they are at least 12.
Not just because of the sick people out there that take children from their homes, but because there are other dangers that are not always expected. Kids run-and fall, and get hurt. How will you know if you are not there? You can read about dogs attacking children, I would rather be there inbetween that dog and my child and suffer a dog bite(s), than walk out my front door to discover my child lying on the lawn from a dog attack.
People are stupid and careless, for the most part-if you want to be careless with your safety and your life...be my guest, but when you dont think about your childs safety...you dont deserve to be a parent. There is too many stupid preventable accidents-that parents should of been there to stop.
What I want to know, is what is so damn important to parents that they cant be with their children outside and play with them for at least 30 minutes a day?
I did a survey-and wrote a hub about how much parent dont know about their kids...
Letting them play outside alone and you may never get a chance to...so sad...people just dont know what gifts they have and are missing out on, until something horrible happens
Exactly it happens many times that parents just leave their kids to play outside and forget about the consequences. Something bad might happen to them.. It is not all fine with me if you ask me to leave my kid alone in the yard or in the play ground.. I will never do so..
This is good advice, glad I bumped into this post. I have to force myself to at least go for a walk with my daughter, it's cold around hear so not a lot of hanging around outside for either of us lately.
I think some of those parents simply take their children for granite, get them out of the house maybe and watch their tv shows.
Your kids will be among the luckiest having such loving and caring parents.
I think they can play outside alone safely once they graduate from high school.
As a single parent I had one child consistently unlock and run out the door when she was small. Didn't matter the lock was up at the top. It's not easy for single parents who have more than one child. I say, go easy on her/him. Offering to help rather than making assumptions of neglectful parents, would be quite the act of kindness too. Not all parents are deliberately neglectful while others, shouldn't have kids, I agree.
The real issue is the safety of the children. If it's a common occurance and you live in a town house community, bring it up with the board. By all means, if you cannot locate the parents of these toddlers, yes, by all means, call the local Child Services Department.
A "baby" should never be left alone, never mind playing outside alone. Children should always have adult supervision, even if it is at arms length. The age? Depends on the maturity of the child but definitely not under the age of 10.
I lived in a apartment complex and 2 year olds would roam the sidewalk, but I would never do such a thing. Some parents do not care and do not want to be bother with their children so they send them outside to play.
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