With the rules to life which worked better with your children-reward or punishment?
That, sister Charmaine, depends entirely on the child when we take into consideration everything is destiny, so, your question needs to distinguish on what does any one thing need to be calls BETTER than the alternatives. Do you want bullies, selfish and greedy or well rounded children able to fit into most situations?
There are actual three rules to child raising, instructing, reward and punishment. In some cases instructing is the only requirement, another may require punishment - as was my lot - although my social skills were not affected since it was my obedience that caused it, and the third is reward which, in my observances, appear to encourage greed and selfishness. However, the more well rounded children often required all three has been my observations.
As a nomad I've talked with many people of all three and my observation suggests most of the times the children who had experienced all three were the most mannered. I observed punishment often caused bitterness manifesting as a bully, as said, reward most of the times created selfishness and greed while many who received instructions were the best behaved in most settings but they generally need a leader's instructions. Since we farce man (minds able to comprehend all things) punishment while explaining why, reward with explanation and just sitting down and reasoning brought children to a level of questioning all things which is the only way one can "comprehend all things".
Hello Elijah. While its not my place to comment here. Each child differs in aggreeableness and aggression, just like a parent. Depends on occassion, timing and various degrees of utilizing instructional means together with rewarding and appropriately punishing a child. If life had given me an opportunity to have children my intial thoughts of bringing up a child would have focused more often than not on talking, reasoning, reward, and least amount of punishment. Maybe I would have reared a self centered child? Who knows. Only hindsight.
Yes, every child is different from all others due to karma which eliminates any one standard for child raising. Although I'm daddy of 6 I had short spurts in raising of one until six and her whole brother continually until one and a half and every other weekend visitation until he was 6 and she almost 10. I discovered talking with them was better than spankings unless after explaining why it would be better one way or the other and I told them if they did ... I would because I waste to show the value of keeping my word. One step child was with me much of 4 years I spanked once for that reason which caused a year separation from his mother but he appreciated me as an instructor and learned easily.
There have been many children during my travels with who I gave instructions or simply asked "what are you learning from doing that" which caused them to think and decided, I suppose by watching them make their decisions, if I'm not learning then I shouldn't be doing it and walk away. Not because of my mother's raising but because of the voice when I was a baby crying to be taken out of a "rails up" baby bed saying to me "you may as well be content, no one is coming to get you" caused my mother to praise me for not crying, she didn't know how loud I had been, I learned to use that form of causing them to make their own decision. Some few chose to do it anyway so I would leave it alone.
There's always a spiritual REASON for everything in our lives which made it your destiny not to have any, not at this time but maybe in the future during this lifetime. Accepting and questioning my "lot" - purpose for an incarnation - was something I did easy in my life and was revealed the early years of my early "new birth" via a nightmare that repeated itself every time I sought my purpose from the heart. It isn't too late for you to ask INWARDLY that question.
Elijah to me you are lucky in being able to have children. Although it sounds as if being a father has had its moments. Just like life though. You seem to have had a very interesting life. What the purpose is of your second birth, I dont know and that is only for you to know. Its private. Are you now saying to me to ask my heart what my purpose is?
My second birth is NOT only for me but for everyone who seeks to be "enlightened" to their purpose for being. It is expressing Jesus' words "you must be born again." Read in context he was telling Nicodemus what he is saying and doing require going through a metamorphosis to reverse what the Adam and Eve metaphor brought upon man-en-mass, the inability to comprehend life and exceed the ability, dominion, of everything on earth.
Everything in life is destiny, NO THING is luck. Before I met my first wife or even engaged in sex I "lied" about my sex life by saying "I have six children by five different mothers, one not black and one by another boy's wife" which came to pass beginning at age 19. Before my first wife I begot 2, and I believe one aborted, two by my wife, one by an Vietnamese and the sixth by the wife of a boy in Viet Nam. And there are so many other things I prophesied concerning myself which came to pass revealed in my life story on my website, the building link on my profile, entitled THE BOOK OF ELIJAH: A LETTER TO THE WORLD. That's why I can't accept anything other than DESTINY as the cause of everything in life.
Just maybe if you remember your childhood and some of the things you said that made no sense [at the time] but has since happened you may find your life's purpose, especially if it's for you to survive the next 10, more or less, years of civilization. In reading your presentations it appears you just may be in your last or next to last incarnation.
Religion has been a gift to you and many many others Elijah. The Bible is still a foreign language to me even if I have tried to understand it.
Somethings you have said? You have stopped me in my tracks Elijah. Your letter? I will go and have a look. Until the next moment....
by ExpandYourMind 6 years ago
Do you believe in physical punishment for children?Is your response related to your parent's discipline style?
by nikki1 8 years ago
I personally think media has gone way to far in going violent.With all the detective shows, suggestive shows, etc. Not to mention all the violent movies out now. Enough is enough in my opinion..whose with me... we must take a stand, I believe.
by Emily Zeinert 3 years ago
How would you describe depression?
by nanadolls 5 years ago
Vinegar or hot sauce? Good or Bad discipline of a younger naughty child ?The punishment for being saucy, telling a lie, swearing, just being really bad and nasty child is vinegar or Hot sauce. My son & daughter-in-law give their children a small drop of vinegar or hot sauce, as...
by Bema Self 7 years ago
I personally feel that to require children to go to school against their wishes or the wishes of their parents, under penalty of going to jail or losing their children, is involuntary servitude, which is prohibited by the constitution. As it stands, even parents who chose to home school are...
by John D Wilson 21 months ago
Have you ever asked yourself what your purpose in life was? If so, what was the answer? A friend posted an article about this. Basically the article said this was THE most important question to ask. And of course, the answer changes over time. What is the answer for you right now?
Copyright © 2018 HubPages Inc. and respective owners. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc. HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.
|HubPages Device ID||This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.|
|Login||This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.|
|HubPages Traffic Pixel||This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.|
|Remarketing Pixels||We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.|
|Conversion Tracking Pixels||We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.|