Dying of a broken heart

1. 68

   Kika Roseposted 16 years ago

   I've been with my boyfriend for over two years. We've had our ups and downs, but we've always been able to pull through.
   
   Then, last Sunday, he said he wanted to end our relationship. I told him to think it over for a week, and if that was how he still felt, then I would respect his decision.
   
   Well, apparently he still felt that way, since he broke up with me less than an hour ago. And I'm not taking it well. At all.
   
   He said he might change his mind later, that right now, he wanted to concentrate on his career (he's in the Navy) and not have to worry about the girl at home (we were planning on moving in together). I can completely understand that, to an extent. But I just can't understand why he'd go to such extreme measures when the night before he mentioned wanting to break up, he was full of "I love you"s and "I can't wait to be with you"s.
   
   I feel like I'm dying, and I could really use some support from you guys. I consider you all my friends, and friends should look out for and help each other when they're in need. I'd appreciate any advice you guys could give me, or any encouraging words of wisdom you'd like to share.
   
   Thanks everyone.
   
   ~Kika~

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2. 67

   Mishaposted 16 years ago

   Poor girl... That hurts... Many of us been through that, some several times, and it is never easy... You will get over this, no doubt, but it will take time and pain... I don't think there is anything to be said that could possibly comfort you right now... All what I can do is thinking of you wishing you to get over this thing with a minimal pain - and that's what I am doing right now...

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3. 68

   Kika Roseposted 16 years ago

   Misha, you're one of my closest friends here. Thank you for the kind words and well-wishing. I'll try to get over this. Maybe when I'm done I'll write a hub about crappy relationships and how to avoid being trapped in one. Because I have to be honest, me and Kyle did NOT have a very healthy relationship, even from the get-go. But we tried anyway, and DANG did we try hard. This may be a sign that I should move on and stay home and aspire for a REAL relationship instead of settling for second-best.
   
   God, if he saw that, he'd flip out so bad... Then again, if I'd told him how I really felt, things might've gone differently... Who knows? Ah well...

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4. 69

   Christoph Reillyposted 16 years ago

   Actually, I think that is a very good and healthy way of looking at it, Kika. Of course you will do better. You live in a small town and you are young, so its a small world for you right now. The world will get much, much bigger, and it is full of decent and loving people who will love to share some aspect of their lives with you. I didn't know he was in the Navy. You don't want that life, no matter what you think. There is so much more for you. I'm just guessing, but I'll bet he is not as smart as you. True? You are to young, vibrant and beautiful (I'm talking about on the inside now) to be put into that box just yet. I'm sorry if this offends you, but you don't even know what your choices are yet. Give yourself the opportunities you deserve. Nothing against the armed forces, but you better really love the guy to commit to that, and it doesn't seem as if you do. Frankly, it surprised me when you said that. I'm not sure why.

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5. 69

   Christoph Reillyposted 16 years ago

   Good morning, Kika.
   
   Hope your feeling better.

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6. 87

   agvulpesposted 16 years ago

   Phew, puff puff just caught up jet lag you know let me catch my breath!

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7. 87

   agvulpesposted 16 years ago

   Hi Kika, I do hope you managed to get some sleep?  and no b/s here ok. just tlc.
   I agree with what Chris and Misha have said. and I would like to add that you yourself seem to intimate that you think you  had settled for second best with this guy.
   If that is what you believe then perhaps it should have been you that ended the relationship.
      Oh and he has an option to change HIS mind . Go take a flying leap buddy.
   My early advise to you is to immerse yourself in your work to get your mind off the relationship, but not for too long, mind.  And if at all possible go get some lovin' care from Mum and Dad or Aunt Flo (hasn't everyone got an Aunt Flo) Take care Hun'.

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8. 87

   agvulpesposted 16 years ago

   I don't know if this will work but here is a virtual hug from a virtual dad.
   (GREAT BIG HUG) slowly rocking back and forth as only daughters and dads can do, both feeling the pain. Dad knowing thats about all he can do, this is no time for talk!

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9. 68

   Kika Roseposted 16 years ago

   Thanks guys.
   
   I woke up this morning and went to put my glasses on, and discovered they were literally covered with eyelash-tear-stain marks. And all I could do was cry because I was so mad at myself for getting my glasses dirty. >.< Now I can't get them nice and spotlessly clean. Grr...
   
   You guys all remind me of my dad. I know if he'd been awake when I got home last night, he would've hugged me and made me feel better. :-\ I won't get to see him for a couple of days or so, though, so I'll have to wait for that real hug. But thanks for the virtu-hugs anyway.

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10. 87

    agvulpesposted 16 years ago

    You sound like you are a bit brighter after you nap. I know virtu-hugs can't replace the real thing but when you feel a little low just think of us. God, that should be enough to take you mind of anything!

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11. 60

    Rangerwifeposted 16 years ago

    I went through that, and what helped me was just to make me feel better about myself.  I went out tanning, and shopping, got my hair done, and started going to the gym daily.  I wanted him to wish he hadn't left me.  I didn't so much want him back, as I wanted to make him sorry.  I guess I really did want him back, but I was too prideful to admit it.  I just wanted to make him jealous.  Making myself feel prettier and better about my physical condition is what helped me.  Anyway, I'm so glad that we didn't work out because now I'm with the man of my dreams and we love each other so much.  I'm now so glad that other relationship didn't work out.

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