Is Parent Abuse a form of domestic violence?

  1. Tania Shwenk profile image57
    Tania Shwenkposted 6 years ago

    If not, it should be! The first time my son hit me I was in denial about it, later when it got worse I was too ashamed to admit to anyone it was happening. My baby that was now bigger than I am was hurting me... it was too painful to say out loud or even write those words. After a few years of abuse I have made a decison to not only admit I but also to write down all the awful, hurtful things he does and says to me in my application for a restraining order that will hopefully keep him from coming to my home and continuing this cycle of violence. After reading an article here I realized that I'm not alone in this and that it happens a lot more than many people are aware of. While its somewhat comforting to not feel alone it equally as sad that it is happening to any parent at all.
    Just like in cases of child abuse, parent abuse causes so much pain in families yet seems to be severely under-reported due to the stigma or fear that others will blame it on bad parenting. The reality is that it hurts too much to believe that the baby you protected and nurtured for 19 years could ever grow up to abuse and torment you, yet it happens. I left my son's abusive father when he was only 4 years old so that he wouldn't grow up in an abusive home and think that was normal. Somehow the abusive behavior crept its way into our lives anyway and I'm not sure how can I protect myself without any clear laws on this matter. It seems to be a legal grey area since the courts and police don't consider teen or adult children abusing their parents as domestic violence. The police said that the term "domestic violenc" only includes violence which occurs specificaly between partners (a married or unmarried couple -whether they live together or seperately) and does not include violence which is committed by other family members. That doesn't make any sense to me at all!
    I'm really tired of feeling scared and being treated like a prisoner in my own home and don't know what else to do anymore. I'm usually very positive, but lately things have gotten so bad that I have literally run out of hope that things will get better for my family and that heavy feeling of hopeless is very depressing.  As a child I used to sometimes think about running away from home but now I often find myself daydreaming about running away from my son and changing my name ..and then I feel guilty and wonder what kind of mother would ever think about abandoning her own children? It's become quite the vicious cycle for me to feel guilty for wanting to be free from abuse and I know I shouldn't. Recently I've decided to move in order for me to stay safe. I'm worried that my son could completely lose it and potentially go through with his threats to hurt or even kill me by breaking my front door down (like has in the past). I'm having trouble sleeping and am very worried that my son's violence will escalate when he is served with the civil restraining order that I am applying for tomorrow. I hope that my son will follow the court order to stay away from my home and that I will feel and  be safe again but, I know that a piece of paper can't protect me from a bullet or a knife, etc if he chooses not to obey the court's protective order but, even though I'm afraid I am still going to apply for it anyway because I have already tried everything else, and I cannot and will not allow the abuse to continue. In the event anything does happen to me, I hope that laws enacted will be passed that can help protect all parents from what we are going through.

  2. Tania Shwenk profile image57
    Tania Shwenkposted 6 years ago

    I feel that any family violence should be considered "domestic violece" because if it occurs at home (domestic) and is between family members then the term should apply. Civil restraining / harassment orders should be reserved for anyone who is not a family member. The police and courts should know this distinction and protect anyone who is a victim of abuse whether they are relatives or not.

  3. prettydarkhorse profile image61
    prettydarkhorseposted 6 years ago

    parental abuse is a form of domestic violence (can be a form of abuse). I am glad you are finally deciding to end it and take action. Good luck!


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)