Why Do Bad Things Happen to Great People? Reasons Why Life is Just Not Fair!

On March 1, 2000, I was at my job at a local restaurant watching the news and feeling empathy for the families that were being impacted by the chain of events depicted on the television. My life was about to be affected, but I did not know it yet. A man who was upset with his landlord went on a rampage and took his anger out on innocent people. My friends’ father was one of the men who was killed. I never got to meet this man, which means my child (who was born eight years later) never got to meet her grandfather……all because someone was angry and couldn’t control his aggression.

One of the innocent men who lost his life was a man who would do anything for anyone. I hear stories of the man that they called the “Gentle Giant” and about how big of a heart he had. He lived for his family and would have loved every minute playing baseball and games with his three children and four grandchildren. He would have loved to walk his only daughter down the aisle at her wedding.

Anger is a natural emotion; although, it is how we deal with that anger that determines our character and the decisions that we make. There are many instances in life where we do things that we cannot change. If I could changes things, I would go back and give my friend his father back; I would go back and give his mother her husband back; I would give my daughter back her grandfather, but I can’t change the events that unfolded that day back on March 1, 2000, because someone was having a bad day and made a decision that would cost families something that will never be replaced…..the most precious gift that God gives…the life of a father, a friend, a husband, a mentor, a role-model, a godfather, a grandfather, an uncle, a brother, a son and a loved one.

In lieu of recent events in our home towns and around the world, we all feel deeply saddened by our current situation. There are innocent lives being lost everyday. We might post on social media avenues about why we should have stricter gun control laws; we might ask schools to restrict access to certain individuals and demand locked doors and metal detectors at all entrances. We might blame others for not seeing this coming; we will follow the story, and try to put the pieces together, but the truth is, the lives of these individuals will be changed forever. Nothing we can do, will ever bring back the innocent lives lost. As we move forward, we begin to ask questions. How Can I Make the World a Better Place? How can I keep my family safe? How Can We Prevent This From Happening? Feel free to comment and share your ideas on how to make our world a better place.

1. Teach your child about consequences for their actions.

• This include positive and negative reinforcement.

2. Talk to your child about second chances.

• We don't always get second chances; you pull the trigger and take someone's life, you can't give it back; you drive drunk and kill someone's family. you can't give it back; you have sex when you are sixteen, you could get pregnant. YES! It can happen to you- refer back to number 1 if needed.

3. Teach your child the value of life.

• There is nothing in this world that is more precious than a life.
• Respect yourself and others.

4. Don't argue or fight in front of your child.

• No one needs to see you argue- agree to disagree and argue on your own time.
• Children's little eyes and ears are sensitive- treat them as such.

5. Watch how your child interacts with other children.

• Don't just allow the old cliche', it's just play... No, child don't need to run around with fake guns glorifying "killing". There are plenty ways to play that don't involve "killing".
• Teach your child to play without threatening, bullying, or being disrespectful.

6. Don't be afraid to speak up!

• Teach your child that it's ok to speak up against violence- today's youth would rather get in trouble for lying than be a "snitch". We need to change that mentality.
• I once witnessed a group of teenagers, pre-teens, and younger children playing in a local public fountain. The older children started to cuss, hit each other, and the younger children were crying. Were their parents around? No. Did any other adults speak up? No. Did I say something? You better believe it. Instead of ignoring it, I chose to speak up. I told them that they were behaving inappropriately and I do not condone that type of violent behavior; I will not just sit back and let my child witness that type of behavior. After a few choice words, coming from the oldest child, they gathered up their stuff and moved along. Why was I the only one who said anything? Why was everyone else willing to just let it happen? Another adult actually thanked me for saying something; her reason for not speaking up? She was afraid.

7. Teach your child that "An Eye for an Eye Makes Everyone Blind."

• We need to stop seeking revenge. Instead, let's prevent the horrific events from happening in the first place.

8. Talk to your child at a young age and encourage them to come to you with anything.

• Don't be ashamed to talk about your emotions. It's ok to be sad, angry, frustrated- but it's how to turn a negative into a positive that defines our character.

9. Do something if your child or loved one is depressed, anxious, committing crimes, doing drugs, and/or inflicting injuries to themselves and/or others.

• Talk to school guidance counselors, principals, police, health care providers, mental health workers, teachers, priests, family members, and friends. Don't be ashamed if you feel someone has a mental health issue- it can't get better by ignoring it.

10. Let's focus on remembering the good we have left in the world as opposed to the bad.

• Be remembered for making positive changes in the world.
• Teach your child to give back- Find out ways to give back to your community and help those less fortunate. Don't have money? Donate time or grow your hair and donate to Locks of Love- every little bit helps.

11. Don't be ashamed to ask for help-

• call 211 if you or someone you love is thinking of hurting themselves or someone else

We should all feel safe in our homes, cars, places of work, schools, and playgrounds.

We shouldn't have to worry if our child will make it up the driveway without being abducted after getting off the school bus.

We should be able to take our family to a restaurant, theater, or travel anywhere in the world by train, plane, car, bus, or boat without having to worry if we will make it there or back home.

We should be able to hug and kiss our loved ones and not have to worry if that is the last time we ever see them alive.

We all need to do our part to make our world a safer place.

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