How do you say 'no' to people that you do not want to get hurt?

1. 61

   odeisaposted 12 years ago

   How do you say 'no' to people that you do not want to get hurt?

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2. 58

   NotPCposted 12 years ago

   You say no to a person if you can comfortably rationalize that decision. If you feel guilty saying no then perhaps it would simply be easier saying yes...

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3. 0

   msorenssonposted 12 years ago

   When you answer a question, a request, anything, you must first honor yourself, so you answer in your own truth, not what anyone else expects to hear from you or  demands from you. You have to live with yourself. You will find that this will save a lot of grief to others later.

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4. 50

   Isshiposted 12 years ago

   you don't say yes just becouse you feel guilty about saying no ?
   well the question is a not directly answearable : you simply evade conduct that would make other people consider you as the one they can abuse into agreeing to help with/buy them anything they want ? the question is also VEEEEERY broad it should clarify who are those people as there is different pattern for saying no/previnting dependance on you for different types of people (kids/spouses/friends etc.) and thier expactation from you.
   One thing is clear you cant let others abuse you so you should make them understand that you are not for anyones personal amusement and you have your own life and things that are IMPORTANT to you whitch  they should respect, so the question is not how to refuse but how to make others understand that your refusal isn't ill willed, is it ?  simply clarify in a conversation that you are a person and have feelings too(that concept shouldn't be too hard for them to swallow) and have your own priorities/needs but you will be there for them if you  can, if they get that you can just answear: "no i can't i have to bla bla bla/we can we do it some other time like tommorow ?" and they should understand it    ....  if you don't want to hurt stranger/classmate straight no is sufficient even if they are making puppy eyes don't get blackmailed ^^ thats all i can say to such broad question

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5. 61

   odeisaposted 12 years ago

   @msorensson - just staying true to yourself is always the good thing.
   
   @NotPC - 'If you feel guilty saying no then perhaps it would simply be easier saying yes...' Really? Sometimes I just feel guilty for the fact that I said 'no' and not really for the reason why. I guess I am just that way. : /
   
   @Isshi - thanks for such a profound insight.

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6. 72

   lburmasterposted 12 years ago

   Easily. Normally no means they won't get hurt. So you are helping them. Would you rather tell them no and filled with negative emotions or them doing what they wanted to and spend tons of money down the drain, getting physically harmed, lieing and losing friends, etc? I'd rather keep it plain and simple. They are emotions, as humans we are supposed to deal with them, it is why we have logic.

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