How to deal with someone who is like a parasite that lives on others most of the

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   ginjill ashberryposted 9 years ago

   How to deal with someone who is like a parasite that lives on others most of their lives?
   
   A member of my family is giving  me an overload of stress. I want to help him but he is too used to being supported through life that in his late twenties he is still dependant for his necessities. is has such ego and arrogance  to be humble enough to work anywhere. Too defensive to be able to slow talk with. Has viiolence tendency and a peculiar liar. It seems he thinks the whole world owes him something. Now I am the only one who still accepts him but he seems to be the more clingy? He has excuses for losing his job. I can't and it is not my style to support an able bodied

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   Express10posted 9 years ago

   You must use tough love in these situations. A person learns from the consequences of ill deeds and choices. Cut ties with him or avoid him at all costs and urge other family members to do the same. It doesn't matter if they are family or not, we must not subsidize others or carry the load for them when there is no legitimate need. Best of luck to you in this.

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      ginjill ashberryposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Express10,you are right. Alas, I am afraid when he may be suicidal too. He does shows instability in mind and does not show he is able to empathize with others in norm actions. Ex:make decisions that will hurt you even after he says words of console.

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      Express10posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      If he speaks or acts in a suicidal manner I would immediately call authorities so they can help him. It's also important to note that some people will say or do anything to continue leeching off of others, even family. Do not accept it.

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   Amanda Howdeshellposted 9 years ago

   I wish I didn't understand your predicament, but I do. All too well. Only, with my situation, it's with someone who is much, much older. Someone who absolutely knows better. Someone who has had more than twice my life time to figure things out...
   
   And yet she hasn't. She wants nothing more than to freeload. Every time someone gives her inch, she will try her best to take a mile, without fail.
   
   I really struggle with the situation because I strongly believe in familial support. But at the end of the day, I can't and I won't. It breaks my heart, but I try to remind myself that you cannot help someone who chooses not to help themselves.

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      ginjill ashberryposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you so much both Amanda and Express 10. Yes, the matter has been solved. I use the best way I know how to. His mother; my aunt, tells me I am the only one who has done that to him. my aunt couldn't do it-cruel way(tough love), it had to be me.

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