Where is the line between expressing a differing opinion as an adult and honorin

1. 60

   kbdressmanposted 8 years ago

   Where is the line between expressing a differing opinion as an adult and honoring your parents?
   
   My little sister is attending college in the fall.  My parents want her to "have the freshman experience in the dorms" and are pushing her to continue to try to get a spot in the dorms.  I went into debt early in my schooling to have that experience and I think she's better off living in an apartment just off-campus that will cost her half the price of on-campus housing.  She'd have a great social life and stay out of debt longer.
   
   I don't want to disrespect my parents, but I also want Allie to know her options.  As an adult sibling, Where's the line?  What is and isn't appropriate to say?

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2. 95

   sallybeaposted 8 years ago

   I would share your opinion with her and your parents, maybe even suggest sharing an apartment with her if possible, after all who wants to be in debt when you come out of college?  I can't think of anything worse.

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3. 85

   M. T. Dremerposted 8 years ago

   I think you should tell your sister your advice (without your parents present). It's easy for a mother or father to override your opinion simply because they've always played that role. But you might have more experience in this field and your sister could really benefit from it. So, give her the information, and let her decide which would be best.
   
   There is definitely a fine line between disagreeing with your parents and dishonoring them. My wife and I both struggle with it and find that it's easier (and more diplomatic) to let them say whatever they want, then provide an alternative viewpoint when they aren't around.

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      kbdressmanposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Usually I don't like talking about someone without them there as it leads to bad feelings, but your idea of discussing my differing opinion without them there is far enough away from "talking about someone behind their back" that it'll work!  Thanks!

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4. 67

   Gordon Wrightposted 8 years ago

   She could split the difference by doing one semester in the dorms and then exploring other options. I don't see how the parents can reasonably object to that.
   
   I was in dorms in college. There was no upside that I could see. Socialization? Got to meet a lot of creeps and get woken up in the middle of the night by jackasses pulling the fire alarm. One semester won't kill her, though.

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