Why do parents of large/very large families (6 and more children per family) ARE

1. 85

   gmwilliamsposted 8 years ago

   Why do parents of large/very large families (6 and more children per family) AREN'T interactive &
   
   involved w/ their oldest child/children in terms of spending individualized time w/them as opposed to parents of small families(2 children in this case) who are very interactive & involved w/their oldest child as well as spend individualized time w/them? In large/very large families(6 & more children per family), oldest child/children are oftentimes disposable & cast aside unless they are needed to parent younger siblings.  Parents of large/very large families are very uninvolved as far as their oldest child/children go while parents of small families care for their oldest child.
   
   

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2. 62

   Midnight Museposted 8 years ago

   I disagree. Even though I was an only child, I have experienced acquaintances and friends who came from large families. These individuals were sometimes the oldest of the children and others were younger.  From these relationships, I learned that parents can have specialized relationships with each of their children and appreciate their unique qualities. I have also seen the situation that ou described where the oldest children became free babysitters and did not receive parental affection.
   
   The key to successful large families is determined by the parents' ability to focus on each child individually while also organizing the home and providing for the emotional and psychological needs of the children. This is not an easy task and the unfortunately fact is that many large families do not have the time, money, and organizational skills that are required to adequately provide for both the physical and emotional needs of all of the children.
   
   I have noticed that many of the more successful families also receive support from their communities. I believe that this is crucial to building stronger familial relationships and that it really does take a village to raise a child (... Or, if the children are left to their own devices, "It takes a child to raze a village." as some of my friends are known to say.)

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   1. 85

      gmwilliamsposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Good, analytical answer.

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3. 85

   gmwilliamsposted 8 years ago

   
   
   From my acquaintances, friends, and relatives in addition to study on the family, parents of large/very large families(6 and more children per family) AREN'T at all interactive with their oldest/older children.  In fact, they all but neglect their oldest/older children unless they want the latter to SERVE them & the youngest/younger children.   There is one word that comes to mind of oldest/older children in large/very large families and that word is-DISCARDED.  Other words are DISPOSABLE and CAST ASIDE. 
   
   Oldest/older children in large/very large families are cast aside by their parents.  They are the ones in the family who don't receive individualized parental attention.  THEY are the ONES who must give individualized attention to their parents & youngest/younger siblings.  In fact, they must put the needs of their parents & siblings before their own.  They are not seen as children but as protoadults who must assume adult duties & responsibilities in childhood.
   
   Parents also feel that it is unnecessary for them to spend individualized time w/their oldest/older children as they feel that such children can well take care of themselves.  Such parents feel that the youngest/younger children are the ones who need PARENTAL INDIVIDUALIZED attention the most.  These parents even feel that it is an utter waste of time to interact w/their oldest/older children because it is believed that the latter are protoadults who DON'T need them.
   
   Parents of large/very large families feel that interaction is what siblings are for.  They argue that they don't have to interact w/ their children, particularly their oldest/older children because siblings fulfill that role. Parents of large/very large families don't have the warm, interactive, & engaging parent-child relationship that parents of smaller families(2-3 children per family) have with their oldest/older children.
   
   The only time that parents of large/very large families interact w/their oldest/older children is when they WANT something from their oldest/older children no more no less.  Parents of large/very large families are cold & distant towards all but their youngest/younger children.  They are really parents in name only!  They just have children, not caring about the ramifications on their family.  They also have FAR MORE children than they can adequately care for, neglecting the majority of them.  Oldest/older children are the Cinderellas & quasi-stepchildren of the family w/o the stepparents.  Their parents are more like step-parents to their oldest/older children than real parents. There is NO warmth, love, & individualized interaction between parents of large/very large families & their oldest/older children.  Never was & NEVER WILL BE, that is a FACT of life in large/very large families.

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