Is it ok to lie every once in awhile(white lie/fib)? Ex: Do I look fat in this d

1. 61

   Janice Danielposted 8 years ago

   Is it ok to lie every once in awhile(white lie/fib)? Ex: Do I look fat in this dress?
   IJN
   Jas
   
   My daughter is being taught in school that it is ok to tell a white lie(fib) every once in awhile
   in order to save others like they did in the war or for mutual respect and compassion. 
   What do you think?
   IJN
   Jas

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2. 80

   peachpurpleposted 8 years ago

   during my childhood days, our teacher taught us that to lie is a sin, but in reality it is ok to lie in order to calm the situation

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3. 61

   fpherj48posted 8 years ago

   Depending on exactly HOW this is being explained to school children, in what context, situations, etc, I'd have a tendency to want a private meeting with my child's teacher.  Offhand, my reaction is to say, No, it is not OK to lie (white lie or huge lie) "every once in a while."   This is a wrong message.
   
   Instead, school age kids should learn some diplomacy.  There are ways to respond to someone HONESTLY/sincerely without hurting feelings.  Learning how to handle these situations is far more valuable than suggesting the easy or lazy way out.....(by advising that sometimes it's OK to lie.)  That simply does not sit well with me and I doubt it does for most parents.  Parents, after all, stress honesty from and with their children from the time they are toddlers.  Let's agree to stay on track.
   
   This "lesson" should be an opportunity to teach children life, social skills.  When a person asks a question like the one you mention, (Do I look fat in this dress?) it should be recognized as being asked for strictly "confirmation" to the answer that's "hoped for." 
   We might think that in a case like this, what can a tiny lie hurt?  Frankly, in Human Behavior 101, we will learn that lying may be developed through practice to become an unacceptable HABIT.  Can you see where this makes sense to acknowledge?  Children should be offered the chance to mature and use tactfulness rather than being less than truthful.  In other words, an HONEST response in this particular case might be, "I think that's a pretty dress that looks nice on you."  Both parties should feel just fine with a truthful response.  No need to deceive or be insincere.
   Excellent  Question.

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4. 80

   dashingscorpioposted 8 years ago

   
   
   Everyone has lied directly, indirectly, or by omission.
   Ironically most people can justify telling a lie even though they themselves hate being lied to!
   Generally speaking a "white lie" is told to benefit the other person in some way. Countless households around the world have parents telling their daughter or son they are beautiful, smart, or talented even if they don't necessarily believe it themselves.
   "You can be anything you want to be if you put your mind to it."
   Is that {really} true? or Is it a "white lie" with good intentions?
   Will your son be the next Michael Jordan? Your daughter the next Beyoncé or Taylor Swift if they practiced 8 hours a day?
   Odds are they won't!
   However there are enough "Dream Killers" out in the world that most family and friends don't feel the need to be brutally honest with those they care about. They would rather they feel good.

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5. 0

   candyhippieposted 8 years ago

   I don't think lying, even telling white lies, is particularly respectful or compassionate. Rather than being respectful and compassionate, it's a trade-off: white lies are socially lubricating at the cost of a little bit of respect and compassion. Occasionally it might be worth it, especially when dealing with strangers, difficult or hostile people, and new acquaintences. But the far better thing to do whenever possible is to tell difficult truths softly from a place of compassion and respect. And sometimes just refrain from answering. "I don't know," "I'm not sure what to say," and "I need to think about this," are often all that is needed in a moment when you're caught in the headlights with a tough question.

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