The scorpio guy I'm dating keeps sending me mixed signals--how do I know if he i

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   madscientist12posted 8 years ago

   The scorpio guy I'm dating keeps sending me mixed signals--how do I know if he is still into me?
   
   Everything was great, he was sharing with me personal things--something that scorpios don't do. He has introduced me to his family, and has told me that he really likes me but he is afraid of messing things up with me. We didn't have sex right away. But when we did (it was the most incredible night ever) all of a sudden he went MIA. He has been hot and cold since then. I have only seen him for fifteen minutes in the last three weeks! In his defense, last week, he did have a family disaster last week and he was out of town for the whole week, but he came back Sunday and nothing. HELP!

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   savvydatingposted 8 years ago

   As the old adage says, "Actions speak louder than words." He likes you when he likes you. The rest of the time, he can forget you. He isn't ready for real intimacy. Right now, he can only handle "temporary intimacy." 
   Yeah, kind of an oxymoron. I wrote about this in my hub regarding "The worthwhile man..."
   But don't feel bad about it. You enjoyed some very pleasurable sex. As it stands, he doesn't have anything else to give you.
   My sincere advice? Don't fall in love with him. Think like a man if you have to. Good sex? Yes. Commitment with him? No.
   He can't do commitment, sweet lady. If you are hoping for more than great sex, you will be disappointed. I am a Scorpio. I know how they think. Believe me.
   One more thing. Can a Scorpio man ever commit? Most definitely! But if he were ready, you would have known by now.

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      madscientist12posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Another thing. he has told me more than once that I'm perfect for him and exactly the type of woman he's been looking for. He keeps joking about getting me pregnant (kinda creepy actually) but he says it so much that I'm not sure if he is joking...

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      savvydatingposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I'm sorry, but he is playing you. Ignore his phone calls. Block them if you have to. Given what you just told me, there's no question he is very bad news.

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   dashingscorpioposted 8 years ago

   
   
   I highly doubt his astrology sign has anything to do with his actions.
   One of the most common traps people fall into is wasting too much time trying to "figure out" another person or even worse coming up excuses for them! You said he had a family disaster last week but his disappearing act started (TWO) weeks before that!
   The reality is if someone is "into you" another they will "make time" to be with you. If they can't be there in person they'll stay in contact by another means to keep you updated.
   We're usually where we (want) to be.
   While generally it's seen as a good sign that man is taking a woman seriously when he introduces her to his family it's not a "harden rule". Some guys show off every new girl they date.
   When someone tells you they're "afraid of messing things up" it's probably a good idea to ask some follow up questions. Clearly he knows himself better than anyone and would have been able to give you some examples from his past of he "messed things up".
   Essentially when he said that he was raising a "red flag"!
   This brings us to another common trap many young women fall into.
   "He's afraid of commitment" or "He doesn't know what (he) wants".
   More often than not the woman who buys into this is willing to invest even more time trying assuage (his fears) or extend him the benefit of the doubt in hopes that he will {eventually realize} what they have is special and it's safe for him to open up and be vulnerable...etc
   There are basically two reasons why men don't commit.
   1. Timing (He's not ready to be exclusive/has other priorities)
   2. You are not "the one".
   Either way if (you) are not on the same page it's best to move on.
   Lastly having sex doesn't turn a great guy into a jerk. Odds are he was a jerk pretending to be a great guy.
   "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."
   - Oscar Wilde
   If someone can only find 15 minutes to visit with you in three weeks they clearly don't believe you're special.
   You deserve better than that!

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      madscientist12posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      We've dated before. That's why he said he is afraid of messing things up. We dated like 15 years ago when he was in the military. He asked me to move in with him. I declined. We were too young and he wasn't being faithful back then.

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      dashingscorpioposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      His present behavior could also be an indication he's cheating this time around as well. Living together or even been married isn't proof of monogamy. There's no excuse for only having 15 minutes to spend with someone You Really CARE about. IMO

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      madscientist12posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Dashingscorpio, you're right. I just don't want you to be right. I can't cry right now because I'm in front of my students, but I'll just cry it out later for a few dozen hours and then move on. :-(

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      dashingscorpioposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Just know your future lies ahead of you and not behind you.
      In a world with over 7 Billion people in it odds are in your favor there are lots of men who would love and appreciate you.  Let go and move on. You're going to be fine.
      Best wishes!

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