I'd like feedback on my article: About US Coast Guard Safety Equipment for...

1. 46

   darylwposted 5 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article? What can I do to improve? Thanks!
   Here is my article: About US Coast Guard Safety Equipment for Smaller Boats (must be signed in to view)

   replyreport
   1. 88

      quotationsposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      I have some comments and questions that may help:
      
      1. there are quite a few grammatical mistakes and typos. For example:
      
      "Kids under 13 years old are required to wear on unless they are below the deck or in a cabin." should read ".. to wear one ..."
      
      "When going out on your inflatable boat, Jon Boat, small center console, or any boat measuring less than 16 feet in length, it is important to be fully equipped. Know the proper Coast Guard require safety equipment for small boats before going out."
      
      This is your opening sentence and it makes little sense. It turns you off the rest of your article. What is a jon boat? Don't assume I know. Also "Coast Guard require ..." is ungrammatical.
      
      I have not gone through your article for errors; I found these at first glance. Spend more time proof reading. It will help if you save the article unpublished and go back and read it a few days later. This will make the mistakes easier to spot.
      
      2. your links are promotional and do not seem to add to the value of the article. Be careful of links to sites that sell things.
      
      3. Did you write this or copy most of it from the coast guard publication. The voice of your article changes at times and is inconsistent with the rest of the article, as if you were perhaps quoting without attribution. Make sure you are not plagiarizing. I apologize for even suggesting this but I note the closing paragraph suggests that you basically borrowed this from a coast guard publication
      
      4. use better and bigger photos. I small photo is not enough. Make sure you own the copyright of the photos you use or have the authorization to re-use them. There are many sites that offer free photos and so you can add pics of what you are describing.
      
      5. use capsule headings instead of bolded headings to break up your article
      
      6. use a biography relevant to the subject. Running an aquarium website would be great if this article were about aquariums or fish. Because you are writing about boats and safety, adapt your bio for the subject matter. You can have different bios to match the content of your specific articles.
      
      7. learn from others. If you log out of hubpages and go to the main page of hubpage.com you will see some writers spotlighted that are making a lot of money. Click on them and look at how they write and lay out their articles. Then include what they do in how you set out your article.
      
      Hope this helps.

      replyreport
      1. 46

         darylwposted 5 years agoin reply to this

         I will make the necessary corrections, grammar is not my strong area. I will have it professionally proofread.
         
         I did not plagiarize the closing statement of my article. That’s offensive that you assume that. 
         I wrote the article and disclaimers myself.
         I used a different  voice for the closing disclaimer because it’s a disclaimer, it’s “legalese” and all disclaimers always sound different than a typical article. USCG does not have any need for disclaimers like the one I made.
         
         Only people with small boats will read an article on safety equipment that the coast guard requires for small boats. Phrases like “coast guard required” makes sense to boaters, and words like “Jon boat” make perfect sense to boaters as they are the most common small boats, and known by all boaters.
         
         I have a site and articles on boats, and another on aquariums, and another on mold. It was not made clear how to make three different profiles with different profile images where would I find this information?

         replyreport
2. 88

   quotationsposted 5 years ago

   First of all, there is no reason to be upset. Your own closing paragraph suggests that it is copied to an extent from a government publication. You state: "The information in this article is from a 2019 US Coast Guard document." So it does beg the question, especially since your style is inconsistent, and not just in the closing, suggesting that you might have pieced together stuff from something else. I am glad to hear you did not. So let's move on.
   
   Let's talk about your article some more. You state in your reply that "coast guard required makes perfect sense." But that is not what you wrote. You wrote: "coast guard require_" which is a typo and/or grammatically incorrect.
   
   In any event, that is not what makes your article confusing. You assume too much knowledge on the part of the reader. You can assume that they are interested in boating, but not that they know the meaning of acronyms like "EPIRM or PLB" which you do not clearly define, at least not that I could see without digging through a wall of text.
   
   Another problem is that you have two lengthy disclaimers. That's too much, especially in relation to the overall length of the article.
   
   You can't have different profile images. But you can have a short profile specific to an article or group of articles. This is the profile that shows up at the top of the article, and is different from your main profile which is accessed by clicking the learn more link.
   
   You can however create article-specific profiles when you are editing your article. Look at the top where it says profile. Use the drop down menu to select "new". Create a new profile about boating and you are done.
   
   Later when you write another article about boating, you can re-use the same profile by selecting it from the same drop down menu.
   
   Be careful though that you do not use the wrong profile if you have more than one.
   
   You should create a profile that lends authority to what you are saying. For example, you could have a profile that briefly describes you as an experienced boater (if that is the case) etc.
   
   For your articles on mold, you would have a different profile describing your expertise in this field.
   
   What you want to avoid is an incongruous profile, which is what you have now. In fact, if I stumbled onto your article on boats and saw that your expertise is in aquariums I would assume you do not have expertise with boats and lend it less credibility. So the impression you make is important, particularly since the profile appears above your article and is the first thing that people see.
   
   However your profile has no bearing on your article passing quality assurance. What you need to improve is grammar, spelling and organization. Once you have perfected the grammar and spelling, add photographs and videos.
   
   Hubpages actually gives you instructions on what to do in order to meet quality requirements. They recommend at least 2-3 pictures, 700 to 1200 words, organized with headings in capsules (which you do not have. The headings for capsules show up in a different color and produce a different effect than the bolded subheadings you have used.) You should also include youtube videos relevant to your topic.
   
   I realize you would like to drive traffic to your sites but the links you have provided are overly promotional because they do not provide additional information relevant to your topic, just merchandise.
   
   You should instead include links to authority sites such as government publications, etc. Or do not include any links at all.
   
   Since this is your first foray into creating a hubpage article, focus on getting featured rather than driving traffic elsewhere. Drop the external links except perhaps to the coast guard publication as a reference.

   replyreport