Clever. The only problem I see is that you haven't made a statement so profound it's embarrassing; nor have you poured out to the masses your deepest secrets. I mean, if you're going to ask for a thread change, at least make the request tenable...
I wasn't really expecting anyone to reply to this post. I thought it would pass undigested through the great length of the forums, plopping out who knows where.
So I went to sleep, immediately after hitting publish.
And thus I missed a visit from a creature who has grown almost mythical: the most regal of all our queens, gracious to the wretched denizens of the badland forums, funny, warm to even the most affected of writers and the most quarrelsome of 'contributors'.
Oh, no. My mistake! It's just Beth. I thought it was PDS.
Where is PDS?
Hurtful. I was a hair's breadth away from falling madly in love with you.
How many women will say that to me, today?
And how many can I fit on my magic carpet?
I should have paid more attention to mathematics as a kid, like wilderness. I spose I could try...
Do you know your approximate volume?
I have 3.55 cubic metres of besotted womankind. 1 cubic metre of devoted cats plus the lady boy who loiters in the little lane outside (a big one, probably 2 cubic meters on his/her own!)
And the magic carpet is only a cheap thing...
I try to keep my volume on low; sensitive ears.
I talked to womankind for you. She sends her regards.
Im off to bed, 'night Will.
Well you took that rather well. Robust, lol.
Now I can stop worrying about you.
To be honest, I have no idea what a cubic meter is. You could have asked me if how many kilometers I weigh, for this magic carpet ride, and I would have said about 80 kilometers. (When inquiring about a woman's weight, always start in the low 80's. "What do you weigh 80... 83 lbs.?"
How many Jelly Belly jelly beans fit into a Chevy Suburban?
Hmm. To put a finer point on the discussion, let's say a...1992.
Interior only, or all possible storage and crevices? Buckets or bench? If buckets, deluxe? Console? 3rd row seat? Jelly beans are small, this is important. You aren't putting beans in the tires and fuel tank, are you? This isn't going to be easy. If you take off the end caps, jelly beans fit in the roof rack bars, and you can get at least 1,200 in the shell of the tailgate.
Every nook and cranny.
Haven't you ever seen Lost?
The answer is 4815162342.
Now you have to come up with a new title for the thread!
Alas, I never saw lost...and think I could have found a spot for one more bean.
Okay, the Gravitational Contemplation Symposium.
Are you sure? Wiki reports a jelly bean is just about 3/4" long; lining up 4815162342 of them will produce a line of jelly beans 57,000 miles long, or around the earth twice with enough left over to go from New York to Bejiing.
That's a LOT of jelly beans; are you sure you counted correctly? Or did you use the metric system or something?
But we're not laying them end to end are we? We're dumping them all inside and packing them into every crevice!
But the weight of a medium jelly bean is about 2 grams; 4815162342 of them will weight over 10,000 tons. Plus, 4815162342 jelly beans will occupy a volume of 5,654,087 gallons or about 8 1/2 Olympic swimming pools.
I think you'd better start eating them instead of stuffing a car with them. It may take a few years, but you can get rid of them that way. And no, I don't like jelly beans...
I love them. Especially Jelly Bellys. But they don't like me...diabetic.
I can, however, share them with other Jelly Belly fans.
I heard Reagan had a black Suburban full of Jelly Beans, but that may have just been a rumor.
The one I heard was that he kept a dish of them in the oval office. Maybe he scooped them from the suburban each morning in the garage.
Perhaps a model in his office of the Secret Service Suburbans concealed an emergency stash of the preferred treat, and later gave inspiration to a gaff for "lost."
I'll explain the Lost thing. Was a TV show where a character was plagued by a set of numbers...he won the lottery with them and guessed the number of something or other in the "jar" or whatever. The series of numbers was 4 8 15 16 23 42. They had a special significance in the show.
But I bet that is where Reagan got his-from that black Suburban.
You know they make Jelly Belly's with splenda? I know this cause they sell them in my store.
Sorry Beth, very drunk right now. Raining all week so no fun. Saw some sun at three o'clock and decided that was a good enough excuse to watch the locals set up the main town market from my favorite bar. A few reprobates drifted in to to help me drink more than I meant to. And it is a miracle that I got home.
So anything metric will have to wait until tomorrow. Lol. I think I drank less than my own volume, though.
I'm sure you were a staunch supporter for sobriety until they wore you down! Never trust a reprobate, I always say.
You know, I bet your mind works at the same capacity as mine, now that you are fully inebriated. Finally we are equals. (That is to say except for our hubber score, of course.)
I do tend to develop an irrational love of humanity in general when I drink my way slowly to unconsciousness.
I think you probably have that before you get drunk.
You mean *I do, or ppl in general? I'm not going to describe "drinking Beth". I stuff her deep down in the recesses along with "emotional Beth". What ever you don't let breathe will eventually die, isn't that how it works?
Edit: haha, I just got what you meant... you think Im loving. Aw, you're so sweet. No... I meant b/c you'd damaged enough neurons from your drinking spree, we were probably more equally matched mentally. Not that you weren't still quite a bit ahead, but I still like to think I was momentarily catching up, so to speak.
'Whatever you don't let breathe will eventually die'
I think it is more like, where no light is ever shone, monsters breed.
You're so dark. You must have a monster down deep inside.
My monsters make me who I am. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Dribble and moan.
The dribble and moan monster is a lot more scary than you imagine...
Actually, I think it just died. I think it was the excitement.
Poor fella. The worlds not a kind place to monsters.
You're right. The only glimpse the poor thing has of a shivering damsel in thirty years and he pegs out.
Good heavens! I hope not. This is a family forum.
Anyway, I need your professional opinion. Is this a rather neat piece of satire. Or are we talking English as second language?
Try the guy's swimming hub,
Well... I wasted some of my reading cause I read thru the first page of the thread. I thought that's what you wanted me to do. I read too fast, but I don't know why. Anyway, yeah, I would guess Eng as a 2nd lang.
Now you are forcing me to look at look at some of his other pages.
When I read that swimming page I nearly choked.
Was that the first time you realized ppl have different writing levels? It must have come as quite a shock to you.
No, I am holding to my original position. It is satire.
And the guy is genuinely funny. I will need documentary proof to make me change my mind.
Anyway, I have to head down to the post office. See you...
I only read the first paragraph. I don't know what's wrong with me... no attention span. You on the other hand have an amazing attention span. I don't know how you do it. Hey, if you're going to the post office, send me a letter... I promise to read at least 2 paragraphs.
(Just address it to: Beth37, USA)
Coo! You are like the Queen in England.
On that little island, all you do is write 'The Queen' on an envelope, then post it and little munchkin men appear to carry it reverently to her majesty.
I 'spose it's the same in the US with famous people like Hiawatha.
Anyway, a pair of savage woman are coming to give me us Thai massages. So I will be tissue paper for the rest of the day.
Have you started watching the telly yet? (I put it in your language so you could understand.)
Ive been watching this show called The IT Crowd (British). It cracks me up.
The tissue paper replying here.
IT Crowd is good stuff.
Even Mathew, (he who changes the thread titles) watches the IT Crowd.
I faintly remember you mentioning tails before. Is this an evolutionary joke? You're on the wrong thread.
If that is your way of saying that you are too embarrassed to talk about the tail issue, I understand.
I had it removed years ago... it simply isn't an issue anymore.
Excellent. Tail-less is the current fashion. I shall write a hub about it.
Having said that, I no longer trust my own judgement. I happened to notice that the guy I was saying was a first rate satirist has an impressive backstory online. So impressive that I think I might be wrong. All my chortles of joy as I read those pages were in fact cruel mockery.
lol... well at least your mockery was done in private. None's the wiser.
(Do you investigate all of our online back stories or just his?)
I don't do as much as I used to, not on a personal basis, at any rate. Usually, I get a minion to look through people's trash these days.
Which reminds me, Sneaky Harry (head guy, Mechanicsville branch of Sneaky Corp) says you are leaving on too many lights at night.
I don't mind the outside surveillance as much as the indoor, hidden cameras... and yet still you did not know about the tail.
Harry already knows he's going to get his nose tweaked over the tail episode.
By the way. Would you say it was a very furry tail?
That makes me thing that it was.
Would it have been a very red furry tail?
Is this something I need to google or have you simply spent too much time in Narnia?
Don't Google the images, lol. We will pass on to other subjects.
How is the weather today?
I don't like to brag.
It is miserable. Freezing cold. It's 27 degrees, the wind is blowing, it keeps trying to snow... our downstairs heater and air conditioner have been out since 2009. If I had an extra $10,000 it would be easy enough to replace, but I always insist on feeding the children. The fireplace is helpful and the upstairs heat works so it's not terrible. I'm most concerned about the hundreds and hundreds of birds still hanging around. I'm worried they didn't get the memo... or maybe they're all a bit simple. What's it like there?
Today was lovely. Sunny but mild, with a fresh wind.
In the North, temperatures have plunged to about 25 (Celsius) and the government is worried children and old people will start dying.
My town is very quiet since about a quarter of the population have headed to Bangkok to overthrow the government, again.
Are you saying it's in the high 70s there? Are you able to get Thai food whenever you want? It's my favorite.
I'm not joking about the mass exodus to Bangkok to overthrow the government. So yes, Thai food is pretty easy to find. But finding a restaurant that is open is almost impossible, at the moment.
That is why I ended up getting so drunk the other day. No restaurants open. Just a couple of bars in the center of town.
p.s. even I start to shiver when it drops below 80 F.
There is no conflict here. The population is united in a shared delusion and so peace reigns. Same thing in the North. Problem is, up there, it is a different delusion.
Here, Ive posted a pic for you. I don't want to hear any more about it.
by HattieMattieMae6 years ago
I just tried Brach's Hawaiin Punch Jelly Beans! Just wondering!
by Brian7 years ago
Which do you prefer?
by Charlu5 years ago
Do you love jelly beans all types and have you ever used them in a recipe, and what about the kids?I looove jelly beans. I don't know if it's the sugar fix or what it is but I love them and was wondering if it was just...
by Jason Menayan7 years ago
This is a thread that will stay open during the course of the Eat, Drink, and Be Hubbalicious contest. Feel free to ask questions, and chat about the contest here. I will post the Daily Drawing winners here, as well as...
by Eric Graudins3 years ago
Can you please let me know what made you click on this post?Did the title intrigue you or offend you?I'm trying to find a readily identifiable "angle" for a new book I'm writing about all the stuff you need to...
Copyright © 2018 HubPages Inc. and respective owners.
Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners.
HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc.
HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.